Not good enough

Part 11

“Do you know where Sarah is?” Chris asks Tom, after looking around with no trace of her.

“No, sorry… the last time I saw her she wanted to go to the bathroom!”

“Damn…” Chris takes another look around. “Thank you, man” he says to Tom and rushes out of the club. He dials Sarahs number.

“Hello?” she answers her phone after an eternity.

“Where are you?” Chris asks in a sharp voice.

“Uhm, where are we guys? Hold on, Chris!”

He feels anger coming up. It’s loud in the background. “Wait, it´s called Club M … hey, stop it…” she giggles and suddenly the connection breaks.

“What the fuck…” Chris tries to call her again, but Sarah won´t answer her phone. He heads back to the club and grabs Jeremy. “You gotta come with me. Sarah is in some fucking club, and I am worried about her doing some stupid things. Plus, I am really pissed off.” Jeremy stares at Chris.

“Hey man, cool down… she´s grown up, isn´t she?” He takes a sip of his beer. But when he see Chris’ angry look, his good mood fades away. “You´re really concerned? Did something happen?”

“I don´t know. I think she´s out with some guys that may not be good for her.”

“Come on, let´s go” Jeremy says. “I´ll get us a taxi.”

During the ride to Club M Chris tries to call Sarah again. “Fuck, answer your damn phone!” Chris shouts and hits the car door with his clenched fist.

“Hey Evans, relax… we´ll find her” Jeremy tries to calm him down a bit.

“She doesn´t know what she´s doing to me, man!”

Jeremy puts his hand on Chris shoulder. “Dude, you really like her, huh?”

Chris stares out of the window. He doesn´t answer. Jeremy taps his shoulder. He hates to see him like that. “Maybe Ben was right…” Chris finally says. “She won´t let anyone get close to her.” He burries his face in his hands.

“Hey, Chris… I am sure you´ll settle this, okay? Come on, we´re here…”

They get out of the car and enter the club. It´s dark, quite a mess and loud punk music is playing. “Damn, that place looks really fucked up...” Jeremy says. They take a look around, but can´t find Sarah. A guy walks by, and Chris grabs his arm.

“Hey dude, have you seen Sarah… brunette… actress... she used to work here…”

The guy looks at Chris like he was some alien. “Forget it Evans, I think he´s drunk” Jeremy says, but suddenly the guy seems to have gotten it.

“Oh, Sarah? Yeah, she´s here, she´s in the Lounge, that´s upstairs. Good to have Miss Sexy here again…” he grins. Chris clenches his fists. He wants to choke that guy here and now, but Jeremy pulls Chris away.

“Come on, let´s go. The sooner we get out of here, the better.”

Chris gives that guy an angry look, but he´s already jogging on.

As they enter the Lounge, Chris´s heart starts racing. There are only a few people in there, sitting on two couches. A sweet scent is hanging in the air, and pills, a plastic bag with weed in it and some cigarette papers are spread over the table. Sarah is sitting in between two guys, one of them having his arm around her. He is whispering into her ear, and she is laughing. Chris steps in front of her.

“Sarah? I think it´s time to leave” he says, causing all to look at him.

“Who´s that, honey?” The guy pulls Sarah closer. Sarah stares at Chris, her eyes narrowed, her hair tousled.

“Come on, please, let´s go. I´ll bring you home.” It´s hard for Chris to speak. Anger and pain are coming up inside him at the same time. Sarah wants to reply something, but Mr. arm-around-her gets up.

“She´s not going anywhere… who are you? Are you her dad?” he asks, his face close to Chris’.

Chris clenches his jaw. “I am gonna take her home, you hear me? You better step aside”

“I don´t hink she wants to leave” the guy tells him with a grin. “We´re having a private party here. So would you please get the fuck out of here?”

Sarah gets up. “It´s okay, let me talk to him” she says and puts her hands on that guys chest. When Chris sees that, his heart hurts.

Why is he here anyway? Sarah doesn´t seem to want him in her life.

She then takes his hand and pulls him aside. Jeremy keeps an eye on all the guys in here. “Evans, if I get beat up in here because of you, I´ll kill you” he whispers at Chris.

Chris gazes at Sarah. “What are you doing here? Why did you leave, without saying a word?”

Sarah looks at him, at least she´s trying. She looks tired, her eyes are red and she seems to be stoned. Chris places his hands on her cheeks. “Why are you doing this? It hurts me so much to see you this way, can’t you see that…”

“So, honey, are you leaving me yet?” the guy on the couch shouts over to Sarah.

“Shut up, okay? Don´t talk to her, asshole! You don’t talk to her, you don’t even look at her, you got that?” Chris yells back. The guy rushes over and pushes Sarah aside, and she bumps against the wall.

“What did you just call me?” he bawls at Chris. Seeing that, Chris freaks out. He clenches his fist and punches that guy into his face. He falls back and stares at Chris. Blood is coming out of his mouth. Jeremy rushes over and grabs Chris.

“Hey, Evans, he´s not worth it!” he yells.

“You bastard, now that was a mistake…” the guy starts again. He tries to hit Chris but Sarah holds him back.

“Danny, leave him alone, okay? I am out of here.” ‘Danny’ stares at Sarah.

“You´re leaving with that asshole?” he bawls at her, while she is grabbing her purse.

“Your movies suck anyways, asshole!” the guy yells at Chris while holding his bleeding nose.

Sarah grabs Chris’ arm and she and the two guys head out of the club. “What do you think you´re doing, Chris?” Sarah yells at him. “Coming here and starting a fight with my friends? You have no right to do that!”

“I have no right? You left without saying anything! You are getting high and then you hang out with these assholes? Did you think about me for just one damn second? What would you have done next, ha? Would you have left with that guy, this piece of shit?” Chris yells at her and steps closer to her – making her step back and raising her arm, in an attempt to protect herself. She knows too well what comes after the yelling. At least when it was her uncle yelling at her.

Jeremy holds him back. “Chris, stop it now, that´s enough.” Chris bites his lip and stares at Sarah. She has tears in her eyes. Her make up is smeared, she looks scared.

“Come on Sarah.” Jeremy takes off his jacket, puts it around her shoulders and helps her to get into the car. “Listen, I know you´re angry, but this is not the right way to get her out of this!” Jeremy gazes at Chris and gets into the car as well. Chris takes a seat on the backseat, next to Sarah. Her hands are resting in her lap, she´s shivering and staring out of the window. Chris watches her. It tears his heart apart, he wants to grab her, hold her, protect her from any harm. He wants to touch her, at least hold her hand, to let her know he´s here for her and that he´s sorry for yelling at her.

Sarah doesn´t notice any of it. She feels empty. Seeing Chris that angry, yelling at her, that totally scared her. The thought of losing him scares her though. She felt so secure when she was with him. She started to fall in love with ihm. But she knows that she is not good for Chris. She would do everything wrong again, just like she did with Ben, and she knows she can´t take that again. She doesn´t want to feel like that again. And Chris just deserves better. She doesn´t notice Chris’ looks. Nor does she feel his hand, searching for hers, finally holding it and stroking over it gently.