Saving Everest

2.

-The world is filled with evil things that will blind your eyes and steal your dreams

                                                                    

EVEREST

Confession: Words can't even come close to describing how I feel right now

I don't know what is more depressing. The fact that I tried to kill myself, or how I failed.

I failed.
I failed.
I'm still here.

Why am I still here?

My mom is convinced I'm crazy, out of the five days I've been here my dad has come to the hospital a total of two times and was on his phone the whole time, my little sister is afraid of me, and none of my friends have come to visit or even called.

I had a feeling this is what it would be like if everyone knew just how messed up I am.

"I just don't see why you are so against the sunshine valley rehabilitation center!" my mom whispered furiously at my father.

I could just imagine it now. My mom, with tears brimming in her eyes for the hundredth time this week, looking up at my father, who would rather be back on his phone and putting this whole situation from out of the press than to discuss rehab. Pleading for her son to get thrown in some mental hospital, because she's afraid to be alone with him.

"He needs some serious mental help," she continued, her voice cracking at the end.

That's the thing, I don't want help.
I want to be dead.

"No son of mine is crazy. He will not attend that crazy house. I can't have that kind of baggage under our name." 

I squeezed my eyes shut harder, as I heard their footsteps near closer.

I felt a hand lay on my forehead gently.

"I failed as a mother." Wetness invaded my cheeks as my mom sobbed over me. Her tears rolled down my cheeks and down my neck. I laid there, not daring to open my eyes.

"Go get yourself cleaned up. The nurses are going to come in soon to check his vitals. Your makeup is dripping," my father's deep voice commented, emotionless.

"Okay," she replied, her voice broken. Her hand removed from my forehead and I soon heard my mother's designer heels click out of the hospital room.

I felt my father's presence tower over me, watching me. I took deep breaths and let the oxygen pass through my nose, to make the idea of me actually sleeping more realistic.

I heard the beats of my heart. They filled my ears in almost a mocking tone. I then began to feel my heart along with the beats. My chest moving up and down with each breath. Lungs expanding and deflating.

I didn't even realize my father was still in here until I heard his phone ringing.

"Hey baby, I can't wait to see you tonight," he spoke in a hush whisper. I don't know why though, it's not like I don't already know he's screwing his assistant.

While my mom has been here, scared out of her mind by me, my dad has been seizing the opportunity to further his affair. I think this one's name is Tanya, twenty-four years old, and is into men with wives and money.

I'm sure my mom suspects it, but would rather ignore the situation. It's so painfully obvious and I don't understand how she can ignore it. Late nights in the office, business trips that aren't actually business, and an assistant that dresses like she's trying to satisfy every man's wet dream. She tried to come onto me once, but gold digging vultures with more boobs than brains aren't really my type.

My father chuckled deeply into the phone, which is actually a weird sound because my father never laughs. And because he sounds like a bald, eighty-year-old pedo that only wears dirty wive beaters with denim cut off shorts.

The door reopened and my mothers heels began to click towards where I laid and my father stood.

"Okay, remember to bring those forms to the meeting tonight. Alright, I'll see you later," he cleared his throat and spoke professionally before ending the call.

"Another meeting?" my mom sounded back to her regular self.

"Yeah, Sonya and I have some more business to discuss."

"Hadley's recital is tonight. Can you please stay with Everest tonight while I attend Hadley's event?"

My father cleared his throat. Something he does when he does not approve.

"No, you have to stay. I have some important business I need to handle tonight at the office."

"Hadley has been with Susan all this week, I barely seen my daughter. I have to go to her recital. I'm sure she'd want her mom there rather than her nanny. I've been in this hospital all week, and I need to get out. This is your second visit; all I'm asking for is for you to put your work aside and watch him for one night."

She talks about me like I'm unstable and that I'd probably murder the whole hospital if someone doesn't have an eye on me.

"He doesn't need someone to watch him. Go to the recital and I'll go to work, and that's final."

Hours later and I'm alone.

But that's how I wanted to be anyways.