Her Boyfriend, My Husband

CHAPTER 20

Yusuf's POV

If there was another way to play this all out, I swear I would have done it. The last thing I ever want in this life is to be the cause of someone's sadness and it seems in this case, I won't just be the cause of Zainab's sadness but of her heartbreak as well. But there was no other way, I just have to tell her and I have to tell her today.

I look up at the dark sky, adorned with bits of stars which can only be seen when one looks closely and intently since here in Lagos, the city lights dull out the twinkling stars in the sky. I sigh as I look back down and tap my feet on the pavement. Its been more than ten minutes yet Zainab is not out of the house. I just hope she won't make herself late for her own flight and make things more complicated than they already are.

I decide to wait in the car and spare myself from the chill of the cold dawn air. I'm driving Zainab to the airport so today, I didn't wait to pray Subhi at the mosque and instead, prayed my Subhi early so I won't delay Zainab but it seems despite that, she was the one who's delaying me. Its just very important that I get this time to talk to her so we can sort all this out before she goes back to Paris.

Zainab needs to know that I like her and will always respect her for the person she is but since the beginning, I've never loved her and now that I'm blessed to have Maryam in my life, I know I never will. So we just need to go back to the drawing board of that plan of her's to change some key facts and erase a lot of things. The main thing to be erased being the divorce in one year. I've barely known Maryam for three months but one thing is for sure, she is the woman I've been searching for for all of my thirty years and divorcing her after finding her is not even a thought that can be tolerated talk less of executed.

I thanked Allah when finally, I hear the passenger door being opened and I opened up the boot of the car for one of the security to place Zainab's luggage in. Immediately she entered, her overpowering perfume hits me and much to my dismay, the ambience of the car gets saturated by it in mere seconds.

Maryam had wanted to come with but Zainab had kindly told her to stay behind and I understood that Zainab too, was anticipating this time we'll get to spend alone during the drive albeit we both had totally different reasons. Maryam leaned into the car window and managed to give Zainab one last hug and a lot more of their playful bickers before she finally let us go.

"Thank you Yusuf," Zainab said once we've hit the road. "for doing this, you know you didn't have to but you still did because you care for me." From the corner of my eye, I saw a wide and almost giddy smile on Zainab's lips.

"I'm so stupid, Habibi, I was here thinking something else when you're still the same, you love me but you just have different ways of showing it." she laughs as if her joy knew no bounds whereas here I am, preparing to tell her the exact opposite.

True, I felt horrible but more true, I would feel more horrible if I let Zainab leave with this same mindset. It would hurt her more if she comes back after a year with so much hope only for me to shatter it. Whatever is to be said and done, needs to be said now at this very moment.

As we reached the highway and the road became more free and more easier to drive, I readied myself and took a deep breath with my grip on the steering wheel tightening.

"Zainab, there's something I need to talk to you about." I turned to her for a second before bringing my eyes back to the road. "I don't know how to say this but I just want you to know that–"

"That I've put you in a very tight spot." Zainab interrupts me. "I know that spending a year like this will be hard Habibi, and you're only sacrificing this much for me because you love me. I know what I've asked both you and Maryam to do is... it's almost impossible but you both did it because you..." Zainab sniffed and when I turned to look at her, I saw that she was crying. "Because you guys are the only people on this earth that truly love me. I... I feel that you guys are all I've got, you and Maryam are the only two people that I can count on on everything. You two are the only family I've got..." Now, she was sobbing and I contemplated pulling over to console her but that was impossible since we were on a highway.