Faceless

(Day Five, "Goodbye")

My time is numbered in minutes by now.

My stomach has started to churn, even though there's nothing in it.

It's eating itself, I'm afraid.

It doesn't matter, anyway.

My blood feels slow, sluggish.

My fingers and toes feel numb.

I can barely walk anymore.

They're almost upon me.

I'm so close to death, I can almost taste the decay.

I've said I'm sorry to my family.

Father, Cassie, Eros, Lucia, myself.

I told you, my dear listeners, about the Silence and the Plague and everything I could.

I'm good.

I've cemented their memories for eternity.

I'm ready to become eternity.

Infinite nothingness, stars, galaxies, shimmering, shining around the sun.

I'm ready for my body to turn to dust.

I'm ready to be stamped into the ground.

I'm ready to give my corpse over to the vultures and scavengers and mushrooms for nutrients.

I'd be the time I'd do something right.

Give back to the life cycle, which I've taken so much from.

The cool air is filling my lungs.

The sun is shining on my face.

The birds are singing high above.

The grass is growing.

The water is flowing around me.

Snow, warm and numbing, falls from the sky.

The wind blows a gentle breeze against my face.

The rocks hop out of the way of my feet.

I don't trip, I don't fall.

I stand straighter.

I'm not in an endless wasteland, not anymore.

I see my family.

Father's coming towards me.

I'd run to him, but my legs are so sore.

I just want to lay down.

I just want-

(a scream.)

No!

You can't take me!

(sound of struggling. the sound is further away, like not spoken directly into the recorder.)

I'm close, I'm so.... I'm so close. Let me.... Let me go. I... I need to finish this. I'm so close. So close.

I can't go.

I need them to... I need them to know.

Let me go!

I need them to know.

I have to know.

They have....

They have to know.

I can't...

I can' t leave.

They have to know who did this! They have to!

(she gets close to the microphone.)

I can't leave without you knowing.

You have to know.

I have... I have...

I'm... Narcissus.

But I can't be...

I can't be forgotten.

I can't...

No.

No no no no.

No.

Please, no.

NO.

I don't... I'm not ready.

I can't go.

There's so much I haven't done.

So much.

I can't be lost to history.

I can't.

I-

(sniffle.)

Please. If someone finds this... if they don't crush it...

Spread the word.

I can't be lost to history.

Please don't let me be forgotten.

My name is-

(end of final recording.)