How You Get the Girl

Should I talk to him?

I was starting to get really annoyed with Kenzie. She kept Facetiming me but when she missed me she never left a message or sent a text. And she never answered when I texted or called back. We had been playing telephone tag all week. It was Friday of spring break. I flew back home on Sunday morning. I was pretty close to giving up and just talking to her when I saw her at school on Monday when I finally got a text from her.

Kenzie: Can you talk tonight at 6?

I thought about it. I was supposed to go out to dinner with Chip at 6 PM. He was leaving in the morning and it was a goodbye dinner but I could text him and ask if we could push it back a half an hour. I was sure he wouldn't mind. I really wanted to talk to Kenzie. I wanted to make sure our friendship was still okay even if Ben and I were over.

Chip and I had had a great time hanging out all week. We had gone to the beach together, played tennis, rented sea kayaks, and just hung out. He had even played cards and done puzzles with me and my grandmother, who loved him. All in all, it had been a fun week. I was going to miss him when I got back to Minneapolis. He had kept me from brooding about a certain dark-haired guy who I was trying hard not to think about. Chip reminded me a little of Miles and Jonathan, Kenzie's friends. He was the kind of nice guy who didn't make you obsess about him until you ended up kissing him in a study room in the library. You could be friends with Chip, unlike a certain person that I had resolved I was not going to spend all my time thinking about.

I got ready to go out before I talked to Kenzie. I put on a blue sundress with thin straps, some mascara, and some lip gloss. No need to try too hard. I figured I would sit on my grandparents' front porch to talk to Kenzie. That way, when Chip came, I would see him and could get off the phone with Kenzie.

My grandparent's house had a big front porch with a swing so I sat on it and waited for her Facetime call. When it came I answered it and stared at the screen in shock. It wasn't Kenzie on the screen, it was Ben.

"Please don't hang up Harper. I've been trying to get you all week," he asked.

"You've been the one calling?" I said, trying to get over the shock of seeing his face.

"You wouldn't answer my texts or take my calls so I asked Kenzie if I could use her phone. I figured you would still talk to her," he told me.

That explained all the calls this week and why Kenzie never answered when I called back. Kenzie wasn't trying to talk to me. Ben was. I tried to think of what to say. I had been so sure he didn't want to talk to me, that we were over. I was frozen. I was caught between my pain and my feeling for Ben.

For once Ben was the one who filled the silence. "I never meant to hurt you. Please give me another chance."

I just sat there for what felt like forever to me, my thoughts racing. Finally, I realized that what I really needed to decide was if I wanted things to be over with Ben. And suddenly, I knew that the answer was no. I did not want to lose Ben.

"Okay. But I can't talk about what happened over the phone. I'll be back Sunday," I told him.

"Harper, I promise I'll explain everything. It wasn't what it seemed like," Ben began but I cut him off.

I knew Ben wanted talk now but I just could not do it.  My mind was spinning.  It was all I could do not to burst into tears just from seeing his face.  So, I told him, "I'll text you when I get home," I said, my hands starting to shake. I needed to see him. I needed to be in the same room with him to have this conversation.

"I understand. I can wait Harper as long as you're willing to talk to me when you get back." Ben answered. And I couldn't bring myself to say anything so I just nodded and hung up.

I sat there staring at the phone in my hand, my thoughts far away. What was Ben going to say on Sunday? Could he explain things? I wanted to forgive him. I really hoped he had a good explanation that would make the pain in my chest go away. I wanted things to go back to the way they had been before Clare had walked into his house that Sunday. Had it really been only a week and a half ago? It felt like a lifetime.

I turned as I heard Chip on the front walk. He rushed up the steps and onto the porch when he saw me.

"What happened Harper? Why are you crying? Is something wrong with your grandparents?"

I put my hand to my cheek and it came away wet. I hadn't realized I was crying. Now I would have tell Chip about Ben. I hadn't said anything to him yet because it had seemed we were broken up.

"No, my grandparents are fine. It's a thing with my boyfriend. We had a fight before I left but we're going to see each other on Sunday and talk. I thought we might be over, but, now, I think we're going to work things out," I explained.

Chip looked surprised and something else that I couldn't quite put my finger on. "You have a boyfriend?"

"Yes."

"Is it serious?" Chip asked, an odd look on his face.

"It was headed that way until our fight. Now, we'll have to see," I answered.

Chip sat down next to me on the swing. "What are you fighting about?"

"It's complicated," I told him, not wanting to admit that it was possible that Ben had had another girlfriend when we had started dating. If that was true I had been a total fool.

"How long have you been together?" Chip asked.

"Just a few weeks."

"That's brave, starting something at the end of senior year. You only have a little while together before you have to make the big choice about whether or not to do the long-distance thing in college. He's not going to college in Providence is he?"

"No, he's going to MIT in Boston."

"Then you'd be living in different cities and wouldn't be able to see each other a lot. That would be tough."

"I guess," I said, not wanting to talk about Ben with Chip. It seemed disloyal somehow. Which was sort of ironic since I still did not know what was going on between him and Clare. I forced my mind away from my boyfriend drama and back to Chip. "Anyway, enough about my drama. Let's go to dinner."

But as we walked to dinner I thought about what Chip had said. Ben and I would only be together for a little while before we would have to decide about whether or not we would continue to see each other during college. Would Ben even want to? Did we even have a future or would this just be a short-term thing?

. . .

Sorry this is a little short.  I thought it would be longer but it ended up like this.