I Receive Two "Interesting" Offers and Turn Them Both Down

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I had not gotten my English reading done over break, so I went to the library to do it during my free period rather than going to paint in the art room like I usually did. I was still upset about what Margaret had done. She had to have seen Ben standing right there when she had started asking me about Chip. Had she been trying to break Ben and me up? Or, I thought, maybe she really had thought that I had cheated on Ben over break and she had been trying to protect him? I probably should give her the benefit of the doubt. She didn't really know me. All she had known was that Ben and I were fighting and that I had posted pictures online of me with another guy. If I had seen the girlfriend of a guy I was friends with do that I might have asked the girl what was going on too. I wouldn't have done it exactly like she had, but still, it was possible her heart was in the right place. She and I were never going to be friends but I could make myself deal with her.

I picked up my book and tried to focus on it. I usually liked reading but I was having trouble focusing on Toni Morrison's Beloved and it wasn't exactly a novel you could skim. Just when I was starting to immerse myself in it, Sash and Julia sat down in the chairs next to me. I looked up in surprise. We had barely spoken since the party at Maria's house. The only ones of my old friends who still went out of their way to see me were Beth, Maria, and Frida. Everyone else had pretty much cut me off.  I had become undesirable.

Sasha looked at me for a few seconds before she finally spoke. "I'm glad you finally came to your senses and got rid of the math nerd," she said. "I'm not sure what was wrong with you. It must have been temporary insanity or were you really that desperate to pass your computer class?" She went on without letting me answer. "Anyway, we've been friends for too long for me to hold a grudge. I forgive you for being such a faithless bitch. Friends?"

I was literally speechless. I was the faithless bitch? Was she serious? All I'd done was go out with a guy I liked. She was the one who had pitched a fit and thrown me out of our friend group. And now she was forgiving me? Hell no.

"Gee thanks Sasha, but, I'll pass," I told her.

"What?" she said as if she truly could not understand what I was saying.

"I'll pass on the being friends thing. Thanks. That's not going to happen. Oh, and FYI, I'm still dating Ben," I explained, as I gathered up my books and stood up.

"What the hell Harper?  What is wrong with you? Why are you being such a bitch?" Sasha exclaimed.

"I learned everything I know about being a bitch from you Sasha," I replied, and I walked away from her and Julia. What a day, first Margaret now Sasha, could anything else happen? I should never have thought that because, of course, something always could.

. . .

Ben had Math Team after school so I decided to wait around. I had missed him too much over break to just go home and wait to see him tomorrow.

I'd asked him if he wanted me to wait for him after school just as we were about to go to class at the end of lunch. Then I'd had a momentary panic attack that I was turning into a stage 5 clinger and I'd blurted out, "Unless you think I'm turning into a clingy girlfriend, if you do, I'll just go home." God, I could have kicked myself the minute I'd said that. The only thing worse than being a clingy girlfriend was being a neurotic clingy girlfriend. Why couldn't the floor open up and swallow me now?

Fortunately, Ben smiled and said, "I like that you'll wait for me."

So, after school, I stopped at my locker to grab my jacket before I went to the art room to wait until Ben was done. I was just shutting my locker when I looked and saw Paul standing there. Paul had been in English class with me last year. He played soccer and Beth insisted he had had a crush on me. I had never thought so but ever since Beth had told me that a few months ago I had felt a little awkward around him.

"Hey Harper," Paul said.

"Hey," I answered, wondering why he was here. We had Social Studies together this year and I almost asked if he needed to borrow my notes or if he wanted help on the test we had next week. I was getting an A in the class. I might not be good at math but I was excellent at history.

"How was your spring break?" he asked.

"Fun, I was in Florida with my grandparents," I replied, not sure where he was going with this.

"That's great, just great," he said nervously, shifting his feet. Then he blurted out, "Are you doing anything on Saturday?"

My eyes widened my mind raced. I bit my lip. This was not good. Paul was asking me out! He must think that Ben and I had broken up. Oh. This was so awkward. There was absolutely no way to get out of this gracefully.

"I'm sorry Paul, I can't," I told him. "I'm dating Ben."

Paul's face flushed. "I thought you guys had broken up," he stuttered. "I wouldn't have asked you if I'd known. . ."

"I totally understand. Ben had a fight but we didn't break up," I explained. At least I don't think we ever broke up. I'm ninety percent sure we never broke up. Really it was a gray area. Anyway, were together now. Oh god this was unbelievably awkward.  So I just stood there and smiled at him while wishing I could climb into my locker and hide.  

"Okay, well I'll see you around Harper," Paul said.

"Yeah, sure, Paul," I answered, inwardly cringing. That had been horrible. Saying no to Seth had been no big deal. Saying no to Paul made me feel terrible. Just my luck, now that I was finally dating an amazing guy, nice guys finally started asking me out.

I was also not going to say anything about this to Ben. He had been jealous about Chip when he had nothing to be jealous about. I did not want to think what he would be like if he found out another guy had actually asked me out. I was taking this secret to the grave with me. I sighed. That was another romantic myth blown to smithereens. Having a jealous boyfriend was not romantic. But then a much less nice thought crept into my head.  Still, a jealous boyfriend was pretty hot when he decided he wanted to make out with you in the hallway by the gym during lunch.  Yep, very hot.

. . .

The rest of the week was almost as much fun as Monday. I had no more dramatic encounters with my classmates, but nasty comments just at the edge of my hearing followed me where ever I went at school. The fact that Ben and I had been avoiding each other the week before break, combined with my stupid Instagram photos with Chip, and then Ben storming out of the lunchroom on Monday had given the gossips way too much fuel. The rumors about us were absolutely out of control. On Wednesday I finally forced Beth to tell me what people were saying. Apparently, the gossip was running pretty evenly between my dumping Ben because he wasn't popular enough and him dumping me because I had cheated on him. I hated high school. I was pretty sure Ben was hearing as many rumors as I was, or maybe even more. He had been quiet and withdrawn all week. I kept telling myself that we just had to stick it out and the gossip would die down but it was starting to get to me.

Fortunately, for Ben and me at least, on Saturday night, the goalie of the hockey team and his girlfriend broke up, publicly and messily, in the middle of a party after he found her making out with the captain of the lacrosse team. Suddenly, Ben and I were old news. There was much more interesting gossip, another couple to whisper about in the hallways, and Ben and I were able to slide into semi-obscurity. Thank goodness. I would just have to make sure we never did anything gossip-worthy again.  

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