Play Pretend, Find a Friend? (Larry Stylinson)

14

XIV.

Things changed after the poetry reading. Louis wasn't sure what it was, but something about sharing that moment with Harry brought them even closer together. Maybe it was the shared experience of absorbing the poet's words, or maybe it was the simple act of sharing the loveseat and being close to each other in such a casual way. The fire was warm and the night was sleepy and Louis wanted, more than anything, to slot himself up against Harry and rest his head on his shoulder.

Afterwards, Harry offered to walk him back to his dorm. Louis didn't know what to make of that, but he tucked his skateboard under his arm and accepted. Harry said he liked going for walks at night and Louis wasn't about to question that. The night was cold and clear, moonless, and the stars shimmered above them, twinkling through the tree branches now mostly void of leaves. It smelled like autumn and fire and fresh air, and when Louis got too close to Harry he could catch a whiff of his vanilla cologne.

They talked about the poetry reading and their classes and the movies they'd seen recently. Louis laughed at Harry admitting he watched Eat, Pray, Love last night instead of going to a party, and then backtracked when he noticed Harry's hurt expression.

"I don't mean it like that!" Louis rushed to explain. "It's, like, oddly endearing that you love romance movies so much. I'm not trying to be judgemental. I like them too. You know I do."

"No, I know that. Sorry. I'm just used to people making fun of me for that."

Louis sucked in a sharp breath. "Right." He felt bad, like sometimes he was grouping Harry in with everyone else. From a distance, he looked like a stereotypical frat guy, athletic and kind of an asshole with a superiority complex. Louis knew handfuls of frat guys who fit the mark, like Landon for example, but Harry wasn't one of them.

"You were so surprised that I was attending a poetry reading by choice, too."

Louis grimaced. "Sorry. I guess I just thought you would think it was lame. And pointless. And that you had better things to do."

"Why would you think that?"

"I don't know. Landon always told me-" He stopped abruptly.

A gust of air filled the silence, but it wasn't enough. He had no idea why his mind was going there, but more often than not, it was Landon's voice that tainted his own thoughts.

"He would say shit like that to you?" Harry asked. He was no longer walking anymore, but standing still on the sidewalk, framed by the dark forest. His voice held more anger than Louis had ever heard from him before.

"No," Louis rushed. He hated when this happened, when he said things about what happened with Landon and then people worried about him. His quota of being worried about was already surpassed by Liam and Zayn, months ago. He didn't need to be babied by another person too. "It's fine. Forget I said that."

"Louis-"

"No, stop. It's fine. Let's not talk about it." He started walking away, giving Harry no choice but to catch up.

Harry grumbled something under his breath, kicking a stone and sending it sailing down the street and ricocheting off the sidewalk. Louis removed his hands from his pockets to blow his breath on them, in a feeble attempt to bring some feeling back.

"What was that?" he inquired, not sure if he actually wanted to know.

"I just think you deserve better, that's all."

"You're sweet."

"I'm being serious."

Louis shook his head, smiling into his hands, and kept walking. It felt like his dorm was so far away from everything. He felt bad for Harry who had to walk all the way back to the Phi Kapp house after this.

"You are such a freeze baby, satsumaimo."

"Shut up, it's cold outside."

Harry rolled his eyes. "Give me your hands." He didn't even wait for Louis to react before pulling his hands away from his mouth and squeezing them in his own. Like everything else about him, his hands were big and all-encompassing, dwarfing Louis' own. It was an awkward position, but somehow they managed to walk all the way back to Louis' dorm like that.

"All right, well. I'll see you tomorrow?"

Harry nodded, still holding Louis' hands and swinging them back and forth. "I have a game at six, if you want to come?"

"Of course. I'll be there."

"Bundle up, 'cause I'll be too busy to warm you up."

"Fair enough," Louis laughed.

There was a pause, and then finally Harry dropped his hands. The reluctance to his movements was clear, but Louis was begging himself not to look too much into it. He'd already spent two years of his life thinking Landon cared about him way more than he actually did; he didn't want to repeat that mistake.

"Please don't die on your way back."

"I won't," Harry smiled, the dimple in his cheek digging a deep crevice. "I'll text you when I get back, so you know I made it."

"I expect no less."

"See you tomorrow, satsu."

"See you."