Foreign Ground (Yuzuru Hanyu)

12. What's The Color Of...?

It was intriguing, and Lilis had to admit — amusing, to watch Yuzuru rush around the backstage, trying to greet and part with everyone, give all the interviews and sign everything while also keeping an eye on her. He was a hot mess — gelled hair sticking upwards like he had been on a boat for the past 3 hours, sweat dripping everywhere like he had been doing his free program on that same boat. Emotionally, he was on an obvious high, giddiness mixing with anxiousness, the adrenaline of the final show mixing maybe with the excitement of seeing her,  made him as enthusiastic as she had ever seen him. The amusement on others' faces was just a conformation of how unusual his behavior actually was.   

Lilis felt bad, not really knowing who she was talking to while waiting for Yuzuru to be done with being a star. Different people would come and go, but they all had a thing in common — astronomical interest in her relation with the star himself. 

Lilis meant to keep her mouth shut. Even if there was some tea to be spilled, she didn't like the idea of spilling a freshly made morning cup of Earl Gray; she'd rather selfishly indulge in it's sweet bitterness so that others could only guess the taste by look on her face. She meant to keep her mouth shut for his sake. She meant to deny everything, but the way he was openly staring across the room at her while talking to somebody else, instantly demolished any lie she could ever think of. Just the way he kept her in the corner of his eye at any given moment, gave away everything there ever was between them and there ever will be.   

The attention alone made her pleased in the most egotistical way, but the fact that the little smirk dancing on his lips made what was theirs — everyone else's, made her self-conscious, like all her clothes had been stripped from her frame, for everyone to see.

Even if she wanted to, she couldn't deny that there was nothing there. Maybe she didn't know exactly what that was or how it got there, but it was huge and obvious, literally screaming: "I'm here, pay attention to me!" And everyone's look lingered when Yuzuru waved for the final time and freely grabbed her hand, confident of his right to do so, leading her outside of the rink, telling everyone that they go together.

The security escorted them to the taxi, the taxi took them to the hotel, and Yuzuru, with a smile on his face, led her into his hotel room.

Lilis' didn't think this far. She didn't think about seeing him at all, she definitely didn't imagine the privacy, the darkness of his room. Her heart was pounding in her ears like that first time she spoke to him, only this time she didn't have to wonder what his mouth tasted like. She remembered.

Inside, with the lights on, his adrenaline simply faded away. On his face was a look of satisfying exhaustion.

"I'm tired" he breathed out, dropped her hand and threw himself on the untouched bed, laying face down.

Confused as to why she was nervous in the first place, Lilis made her way to the bed where she sat next to him and out of reflex went through his stiff hair, smiling to herself.

"You need a bath, Lemon." She suggested affectionately.

To that he whined, but got up, smiling tiredly yet contently.

"I will be fast." He promised and placed a short kiss on her forehead before he speeded to the bathroom, hotel towels and clothes in hand.

Lilis frowned, eyeing the exit.

"Do I really want to run away?" She wondered.

............    ............   ......

She looked up from her phone to Yuzuru standing in the middle of the room, wet hair dripping on the white shirt clinging onto his body. Lilis liked that sight.

"I feel like time is same." he said.

Sometimes, no matter how hard she tried, she just didn't understand him, instead of pretending — she didn't want to pretend, not now, she said it, "I don't understand you."

"I feel like time not pass, from last time." He said, upon looking up on his phone and muttering something in Japanese.

She looked into his glimmering chestnut eyes, trying to catch a difference, "Yeah... It really feels like we never left that hotel room." 

"But so much happen, right?"

"Yeah..."

He stood around as if looking for a decision to make, his shirt getting more and more damp with every minute. 

"I...", he started, suddenly appearing reserved, timid, "I wanted to give the bracelet to you, you know?"

"Mhm..."

"But... My mom makes it for me, for remember." 

"I know."

"So... I go home and I ask mom to learn me." he stopped there, debating if he should continue or not. Finally, he walked over to his open suitcase and dug around, coming back with a small cotton satchel. 

Reluctantly, she took it, realizing it was a gift of some sorts.  

"I learn to make it... For you remember." He added quietly, placing himself on the edge of the bed, apprehensively eyeing her opening it. 

Lilis, with a deep breath, pushed her fingers through the amber beans, now feeling their coolness against the skin of her wrist.

"Reminds me of your eyes." He said in a low voice, looking from under his eyelashes. 

"I always thought my eyes were hazel." Lilis whispered, feeling the beans growing heavier and heavier with every word.

"Whats hazel?"

"It's a nut" she giggled.

"No, no, your eyes... like old gold."

She touched them with the tips of her fingers, realizing the efforts that went into it.

"So it's a reminder huh?" 

He nodded, gently grasping her fingers with his.

"But I don't know who I am... How can I remember then?"

"I don't know who you are... But this is what I feel." 

His thumb caressed over the old gold.

"So... I can remember how this feels?"

"How feels... is you." He whispered, looking straight through her eyes, like the first time they talked.

She thought about it, looking at his engaged expression, and made a decision then and there. 

"If I don't leave right now, I'll miss my train back to Tokyo."

"You don't stay here?"

"No, I came straight to the show."

"You can..." he looked to the bed, suddenly acting unsure, "Stay here."

She blinked.

"Okay."

....................   ................   ........

The darkness didn't scare her — it made her braver.

He didn't scare her — he captivated her.

Sharing sheets didn't frighten her — she wanted to share heartbeats.

"Can you hold me?" she asked.

He said nothing, only pressed his chest to her back, nose in her hair.

"Lemon?"

"Hmm?"

"Can I tell you something?"

"Yeah..."

"Can I tell you why I'm in Japan right now?"

He could probably feel her heart pounding way faster than needed, even under these circumstances. His hands made it under the shirt covering her body — his shirt, and grazed the skin of her waist, maybe as an incentive for her to continue.

"It's because... There's a wedding I need to go to..."

"In Tokyo?"

"No... In Greece."