"namwaan?", you heard his soft yet raspy voice whispering, making you shrug - you didn't expect him to show up at night in the living room.
"oh, hey, jungkook", as quick as you could, you dried your tears with your hands while trying to form a weak smile with your lips - obviously, jungkook didn't believe your put on mask.
"why are you crying?", worried, he sat down next to you, close enough to pull you into a warm, lovely hug, making sure you wouldn't feel alone.
you couldn't hold your tears back anymore. you continued crying in his arms, feelings his strong arms around you, letting you burry your head on his chest.
why was it so hard?
why was it so hard to let someone go?
"It's okay, I'm here", these words..
somehow, they broke you even more. because you knew, he wouldn't always be there.
sooner or later, you would be alone. again.
this smile you were putting on for the last few months, caused by his presence... it would fade away, it would disappear just how.. just how he would.
no, he wouldn't be there for too long.
at the end of this week, he would fly to another country - starting his four month lasting tour. you would be alone, in this big house.
shouldn't you be happy? you had a big house for yourself. after years of living on the streets, you should be happy to have a house for yourself, right?
but this wasn't the case. yes, you would have a big house to live in. you could live like a "normal" human.
but he wouldn't be there anymore. not the money kept you happy, no. he was the reason of your sudden happiness, but he would disappear soon.
were you even important to him?
he was so important to you, but were you to him?
he had everything, friends, family, money, fans, his passion, work - it wouldn't hurt him if he loses you.
would it?
and that's the thing. when you have only one person in your life, someone who you trust and someone who you love as a best friend - when you depend on only one person - you're living with the constant fear of being able to be replaced.
"did you have a nightmare?", jungkook asked and rested his chin on your head, staring blankly through the dark.
how did he feel?
what did he feel towards you?
you had no idea, and that scared you the most. he was there for you, yes. he took care of you, yes. but, did he only do this because he felt pitty?
it was driving you crazy, the constant fear of being alone. of falling into a deep hole again.
"how do you feel towards me?", you suddenly asked.
jungkook, overwhelmed by your question, couldn't bring out any words. he had expected anything, a nightmare, you thinking too much about your lost family, your life on the streets - but he didn't expect you to cry because of him.
"I really like you, but I don't think we will work as a couple-"
"oh god no, that's not what I was talking about", you interrupted him quickly before he could misunderstand anything more.
you broke the hug, giving both of you a bit of space. Although the intention behind your question was something totally different, you didn't want to feel him this close anymore.
