a/n; before you read, you may notice that it's a different form of writing than the previous chapters had. don't be confused.
oh and be happy, this chapter is so long-
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Sometimes, we all struggle to handle our past. The present time isn't an exception, neither our worries about our future are. Sometimes, we struggle to survive the suffering ship drowning us to the ground of the endless Atlantic. All our tears created during the path of drowning, it all leads us to where we are.
If we drown or swim, that's our decision.
The easy decision is to let it happen. To drown, hoping someone would wrap their arms around us while we loose our last breath. We don't learn how to drown.
The hard decision is to learn how to swim. How to see the sunlight on the edge, the warmth and comfort after an exhausting phase around us. We aren't born as swimmers, we have to learn how to give ourselves a try.
Either alone or with help.
All her life, she has been swimming. Without any help.
That's how she remembers her life.
"I am not the person you're describing", a heated tear left her eye, a small sob escaping her precious lips. The moment of realization hit her.
Hit her like a truck, driven by Min Yoongi.
Her brother.
"I know you're not that person anymore. Jeongguk wouldn't like someone like this. I came to this realization."
Yoongi has been playing with his fingers the whole time, surprisingly nervous. He was stuck between two parallels, his sister he knew back then and his sister sitting on his chair, hardly trying to keep her tears for herself.
His eyes were stuck on a picture of him and a little girl at the age of four. A memory created by two souls in the middle of their own happiness; their childhood.
"Now I understand why you hate me", she whispered with a broken voice. Although Yoongi wasn't taking a look at her, he knew how close she was to break down.
"You blame me for everything, right? You've never looked down to me, you've just..."
"I have been looking up to you since I saw this little, small yet beautiful baby called Y/N in my mum's arms for the first time."
"I'm sorry, I have to go", she quickly said before storming out of Yoongi's hotel room. This was just too much for her; everything he had just told her.
She was a crying mess and nobody could stop her, not even the young man Jeon Jeongguk who was bumping into her in the hallway.
"Namwaan, are you crying?"
"No, I'm not", of course, her broken voice and the tears on her face didn't convinced Jeongguk.
You're lucky if you have somebody wrapping your arms around you when you drown.
"I'm here", Jeongguk tried to comfort her as he was risking it to pull Namwaan into a hug, getting his hands pushed away from her as soon as he tried to touch her.
"I'm not, I'm going away from here, from everything."
Yet it's up to the person drowning if it really wants to be saved or not, and if the person already died, no fresh air could help anymore.
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"I've been trying to call her for hours now! Yoongi, what did you tell her?!", Jeongguk yelled at his older brother, knowing exactly that he was the reason of your sadness.
"I didn't mean to hurt her", he said numb without looking at Jeongguk. As if nothing happened.
"I have never seen her so broken; Yoongi, you have to tell me what happened or I'm going insane."
