Endlessly Falling (Updating)

I. A Crush

His arrows are invincible; When it points at you, escaping is unfeasible.

***

Bata palang ako noong una kong maranasang magkagusto sa isang tao. Yong tipong sa tuwing makikita ko palang siya, nabubuo na yung araw ko at di ko mapigilan ang mapangiti tuwing nandiyan siya.

I was around 8 years old, grade 3 elementary student, when I first met him. He wasn't exactly the perfect guy as he is just the same age as I was back then.

"Loren, why did you decide to befriend me?" he asked me one time. I was eating and I cannot contain myself from almost choking when he suddenly asked that.

"Hindi ko rin alam e... Feeling ko lang kasi kailangan mo ng kaibigan?" patanong ko pang sagot sa kaniya.

Tinignan niya ako kaya tinignan ko rin siya, nakangiti siya at halos masilaw ako sa sobrang liwanag ng ngiti niyang yon. Kumalabog sa kaba ang puso ko kaya mabilis pa sa race car akong umiwas ng tingin sa kaniya.

"Ang saya ko, Ren." masiglang narinig kong sinabi niya. Kahit nagtataka e hindi ko pa rin siya tinignan, masyado pa akong nerbyosa nong bata.

"B-bakit naman?" nagtataka kong tanong. 

May maiinit na palad ang dumausdos sa balat ko, hinawakan noon ang kamay ko at pinisil pisil pa. Ang lambot ng kamay ng nagmamay-ari niyon, ang sarap sa pakiramdam ng bawat haplos nito na para bang sinisigurado nito ang kaligtasan mo.

"I'm blessed to have you," I still remember how his sweet childish voice said that, "I really like you." and he kissed me.

That was my first ever kiss, even though it's just on the cheeks. Red might be the best color to describe me at that time. I feel like my face is too hot to touch, I heard his giggles and as childish as I am back then, my reflexes told me to hit him and so I did.

"Ouch!" he cried in pain. My forehead formed a crease, I even crossed my arms and pouted my lips. All the things my mind can process is the fact that he kissed me and my little mind cannot forgive him for that. Why? I don't know too.

"Bakit mo 'ko ki-niss?! ANG BASTOS MO AH!" naalala kong sinigawan ko siya ng sobrang lakas na halos yong mga naglalakad na batang kagaya namin napapalingon na samin. 

Naalala ko rin ang ngiting pinakita niya sa akin noon. Masyadong nakakasilaw, nakakahalina at nakakabighani. Dahil doon nagdalawang isip ako kung magagalit pa ba ako sa kaniya o palalampasin nalang ang bagay na yon. Madaming katanungang umiikot sa isipan ko pero sa tuwing titignan ko ang ngiti niya, naba-blanko ako.

"I'm sorry, I can't help myself... You're too cute." he stated with a big smile plastered on his face.

Any person who lays their gaze on him would surely fall for him...

"Nakakainis ka talaga kahit kailan,-----"

I remember every moment with him.

I remember every smile he made.

I remember every sweet words that comes from his mouth.

I can still remember his lingering fragrance.

I can still recall the last sentence he uttered before he left.

"I will return, please wait for me until then."

But if there's a thing I cannot remember: it was his name.

I was 8 years old back then when I first experienced what it feels like to cherish someone.

***

"Loren, bangon na... tanghali na di ka pa rin nagigising diyan." parang nangyari na itong scenario na ito, yong tipong mali-late na yong bida sa eskwela dahil batugan siya at ginigising naman siya ng nanay niya dahil ayaw niyang ma-late ang anak niya sa eskwela.