Chapter 36: A-Okay

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Arnav gazed at the waning sun, watching another day disappear into nothingness

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Arnav gazed at the waning sun, watching another day disappear into nothingness. It was funny how time worked. Every minute of every hour was monitored and calculated, yet, what did each minute even matter? Didn't all the minutes just melt into one big, endless day?

It had been one week since he resumed his office, going about his meetings and projects as though nothing had happened. And seeing how easy it was to do it, perhaps nothing had indeed happened. Perhaps his child and Myra didn't happen at all.

Arnav knew he was being silly. Of course they happened, because he felt their loss. He felt it every morning during his jog, during his commute to work, during his secretary's ramblings... by the end of the day, it felt like maybe he wouldn't be able to go through with another day. And perhaps he would always feel like that.

But he also felt different. He felt more correct. Seeing the happy faces of his cousins felt right. Chopping vegetables this morning as everyone requested breakfast once again felt right. Watching a match of cricket with Dev felt right. It was as if he was waking up from a deep slumber, realizing with relief that everything he had once enjoyed were all still there, waiting for him.

If truth be told, Arnav had needed this trip. It seemed almost god-sent when he received NK's invitation on the family Whtasapp group. He just wanted to remember his old self, the self that didn't need much validation from anyone.

"Aren't you done brooding yet?" came Lavanya's voice.

Arnav looked over his shoulder to see his sister join him on the second-floor balcony of the farmhouse. It was a rather quiet Sunday evening, most of his cousins were dispersed around the house, taking a moment or two for themselves. Lavanya, of course, was leaving in a few minutes for Akash –unsurprisingly– had to resume office the next day. The rest of them were due to leave tomorrow evening.

"Aren't you packed yet?" Arnav asked, turning his eyes back to the purple sky.

"Yeah yeah," she answered with a pout.

"So stay then," Arnav murmured, easily understanding the source of her disappointment. His sister thrived on social gatherings, but her husband didn't have much time for any of them. "I will drop you off tomorrow."

Lavanya snorted. "I'll pass... don't want to be third-wheeling."

Arnav simply sighed, the mention of his wife bringing on a new train of thoughts. It was only yesterday that she had mysteriously vanished with his cousins on what was apparently a hiking trip. He hadn't even realized she was missing –being engrossed in the game of football Dev challenged him on– until Bhagi anxiously pointed it out. Panic had festered deep inside of him upon hearing that, and all Arnav really remembered was making a few trusted phone calls to trace their location and then sprinting out the backdoor to find them. He had only stopped when his eyes had found her downcast ones.

Arnav didn't dare think what would have happened if he hadn't located her. Their argument, more than a week ago now, was beginning to seem very silly. He had apologized to her, hadn't he? Agreed it could have been better, but didn't he make the first move and break the ice? So then why were they not talking freely, why did she feel the need to not tell him she was going for a walk in the woods?

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