Melancholy || Harry Potter's twin brother

3: chapter fifteen

"Ow! Rowan!" Sirius had spent three hours getting every single flea out of Rowan's fur and was now attempting to give him a bath. "Just because you have no fleas doesn't mean you don't stink!"

"So what are you going to do with him?" Justin asked as he watched Sirius get drenched with water for the third time.

"I don't know, I can't keep him here, that's for sure." Sirius sighed as he managed to rub shampoo into Rowan's fur.

"We could take him to hogsmeade and see if they know who he belongs too." Ernie suggested, dodging out of the way as the dog created another wave of water.

"Well you'll have to do it, you know I can't leave the grounds." Sirius said, Rowan stopped moving as though he was suddenly interested in the conversation.

"Or you could get Lupin to sign it, seeing as he's your godfather." Hannah suggested, she was lurking safely in the doorway.

"I told you I don't want to talk to him, especially seeing as he knows!" Sirius shook his head adamantly. Rowan licked his cheek and muzzled his sopping head into Sirius' shoulder.

"You can't skip defence against the dark arts for the rest of the year!" Justin exclaimed, "someone will catch on."

"Well what do I do then?" Sirius stopped and looked at his friends.

"Apologise for calling him crazy would be a start." Hannah told him. "Besides he might be your ticket out of the Dursleys."

"I guess you're right." Sirius sighed. "Alright Rowan I'm going to turn the shower on now."

^^^
Once he was changed and dry, Sirius found himself outside Lupin's office. He took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

"Come in." Lupin said, Sirius sighed and reached for the handle, pausing before opening it and then letting go of the handle. He couldn't do it. He just couldn't do it. Maybe it was pride, maybe it was fear, either way he didn't have the courage to make things right. He was down the stairs and halfway out of the classroom before Lupin opened the door. "Sirius? Sirius!"

"I can't." Sirius shook his head as he made his way out of the room.

"Sirius!" Lupin was following him now, "Wait!" Lupin caught up with him soon after, he was a deal taller than Sirius and he soon had a comforting hand on Sirius' shoulder. "Come on, let's talk in my office."

Sirius felt a familiar well of panic build up in his throat, his palms began to feel clammy and although he was suddenly taking in more air, he still felt like he couldn't breathe. As though his body was moving by itself he followed Lupin back to his office.

"I'm sorry for scaring you yesterday." Lupin said kindly as he settled back into his chair. Sirius said nothing, he just stared at his hands as he tried to count his breaths.

"I came to apologise." Sirius finally said. "For calling you crazy."

"Its okay." Lupin laughed. "I imagine I startled you with the way I went about asking you about it."

Sirius just shrugged, not trusting himself to speak again.

"You can talk to me about it you know." Lupin said, he was trying to pry without making it clear, but talking about Aro was not something he wanted to do. He didn't even want to think about it if he could help it.

"No thanks, I- I'd better go." Sirius stood up, but Lupin stopped him.

"Have you been to Hogsmeade yet? I think a trip to honey dukes would do you good."

"I'm not allowed to go, my aunt and uncle haven't signed my permission slip." Sirius explained.

"Have you got it with you? I'll sign it for you." Lupin offered, Sirius stared at him in shock for a moment before digging in his pockets to find the permission slip. At last he found it and handed it over to his godfather. Lupin signed it in his neat scrawl and handed it back.

"Thank you." Sirius nodded, he turned to go, but was stopped again.

"Are you alright Sirius?" Lupin asked. "You seem distracted."

"Oh, my friends are waiting for me, I don't want to keep them waiting too long." Sirius explained, it was a good cover up, but really he was worrying about Rowan.

"Alright, I won't keep you. Thank you for coming to see me Sirius."

"Bye Professor." Sirius nodded finally getting out of there. He raced back to his dormitory to find his friends and Rowan waiting for him.

"Well?" Hannah asked from where she was brushing Rowan's fur.

"He signed it." Sirius replied sitting beside her and scratching Rowan behind the ears.

"Brilliant!" Justin cheered, throwing a liquorice wand to Sirius, who only just managed to catch it.

"That was pitiful Sirius!" Ernie shook his head at him.

"Well I've never pretended to be athletic." Sirius pointed out.

"You could be good at sport if you put the effort in." Hannah commented.

"Is this because Harry plays Quidditch? We aren't identical you know!"

"Oh we know, you aren't even a bit similar." Justin nodded.

"Anyway, this saturday is the last hogsmeade visit before christmas, so we can get Rowan out of the castle." Hannah said.

"We can't do that!" Sirius exclaimed. "What if no one takes him in, we can't abandon him, he'll freeze!"

"Sirius we can't keep him!" Ernie pointed out.

"Why not?"

"Because he's not our dog. And anyway what do we do with him in the holidays?" Justin said.

"We could take him with us for christmas and then figure out what to do with him after." Sirius said as he petted the big black dog who licked his chin happily.

"Okay, my mum won't mind anyway." Justin agreed.

"Well then what do we do with him after?" Hannah asked with a frown.

"Take him to hogsmeade and let him go." Sirius said. "Then at least he won't freeze and we can try and find his owner."

"Sounds as good as anything, what do you think Rowan?" Justin asked, Rowan barked happily.

"Well that's settled that." Ernie shrugged.