She's The Enemy (GxG)

(P2) Chapter 4- On The Edge

"It could work..." Gideon Snow states after I finish explaining my plan.

"It will work." I sit up from the dining table and turn to Adrien who is stood upright by the door.

"Get everyone ready. We depart tomorrow..." As I say this, I glance quickly at Emilie's father receiving a nod in return. The room stirs very slightly, the few, higher-ranked, men the keeper of the guard had requested be present, exchanging small whispers. I requested the presence of no one but Adrien, however, my brother had insisted he be present despite the fact that I knew all he would do is argue with me. As the Keeper of the Guard stands, the men beside him rise in almost coinciding rhythm. I turn to them,

"I would be delighted to offer you refuge in our Court... If you are to accept, Adrien will find someone to escort you there." One of the first things my father had done when he became King was to create what we called the 'building of sanctuary'. He made it so any stranger who entered our Court would be greeted with a safe space to stay. Am I making a mistake father? Am I letting my feelings cloud my greater judgement? As I watch the men consider my offer, they must know that there are no other places for them to stay tonight, they must no that there is no other option.

"We will take the offer, but I want guards stationed around the building," Gideon says, and I stifle a breath of annoyance at the arrogance of this man.

"I'm sure some of my knights would volunteer..." I begin, glancing towards Adrien for reassurance. However, before I can complete my sentence, I am silenced by a large intake of breath.

"No, I want my own men," Gideon grunts and I stand a little taller, shocked by the man's attachment to hate. From all I have been taught, hate is like a virus. It spreads and spreads until people no longer know why they hate the person they do- until it becomes a type of prejudice. I have never seen the point of it, yes, I may have a dislike for certain things like food or clothing but, hate is such a powerful emotion. Almost as strong as love. It drains you, buries you under fog full of nothing but burning resent. What is the point of wasting all of that energy on something you don't like?

Hate is different with people. People change and adapt; sometimes so much that one thing about them could be true one minute and false the next. Saying you hate someone is like labelling them or branding them and I hate that idea. I don't even hate the man who took the girl I love. I mean, don't get me wrong, I dislike his way of living and the choices he has made, but I don't hate him- I can't. I can't because then that would mean giving in, giving him more of me and my energy than he would ever deserve, and I can't do that. I wonder what Emilie's father must think of our race to hate us so deeply.

My heart cracks a little as all the humans leave the room, following a Fae Guard Adrien had chosen. I slump down onto one of the dining room chairs feeling a hand on my back, most likely belonging to my childhood friend. Everything just begins to rise up and as much as I try to shove and wrestle it back down, I can't fight it. I am their Queen; I can't show weakness. At least not in public. And that's when a tear slides silently down my cheek. Like the small droplet that slides down an overflowing bottle. That tiny bit of emotion I had allowed to escape in my moment of weakness.

"Sister, you must rethink this plan. They will betray us, you know that..." My brother states insolently and I turn to him, letting the rise of emotion fuel my anger.

"Archer, I know what I'm doing! Could you for once support me in my decisions?!" I yell and watch my brother flinch at the aggression in my voice.

"I'm only doing what I think is best for you..." Archer states calmly, his eyes flickering with glimpses of an emotion I couldn't quite decipher.

"Well, maybe you don't know what's best for me!" I stand up in anger, wiping the tear that had found its way centimetres from my chin, "I have to get some sleep, there's a lot to do tomorrow..."

"Isla..." He begs, grabbing hold of my arm. I just brush him off, feeling my head heat up and a dull ache creeping into the back of my mind. I breathe in.

"I'm sorry Arch, not now..." I trail off as the anger runs out of me in streams, pooling at the bottom of my feet. Then, I walk, fairly calmly, out of the door, starting to climb the steps to my room.

Each step seems steeper than the last, my breaths becoming thick and heavy as the dull ache in my head becomes more apparent. Each step, another jolt in my brain. Like something is pressing my brain softly against either side of my skull, each press getting harder and harder. Harder and harder until the pain resides in equilibrium to the one in my heart. I tighten my grip on the rail beside me, feeling the, now jarring, ache take over my thoughts. Like a mind-numbing blanket, it covers me, not once loosening its grip on my consciousness. My steps stop. The world spins slowly around me and I bring my hands up to grasp my skull. It has become like a pounding, as if someone were knocking on the inside of my skull, begging me to open the door. There are no tears, the pain makes even the idea of them impossible. Just this cage, a bubble, like I'm encased in a glass dome.

As soon as I feel the panic rise from the pit of my stomach, I remember something my mother told me once. I don't like to think about her; I don't talk about her, not even to Adrien or my own brother. It's because I think I blame myself for her death. I can't remember it that well, and I think it's what hurts the most. I was only 12, that's terrifyingly young for Faeries. In fact, even now I am so young, the youngest queen in known history. Most of our previous monarchs were given the throne by their parents at the age of 100. My own father was 95 when his father abdicated. 112 when he met my mother. We were unfortunate, me and Archer, both of our parents, died young.

It was spring and I was so excited because all of the flowers had begun to grow, I think I asked my mother if we could go to the meadow to pick some. I knew she was a little ill, even my father had asked her to stay home but she insisted. From then on, I remember very little. A few glances of my mother's assassins, boy Faeries no older than 16, sent by some order in our own Court. It confused me, how the people my father had cared so kindly for could just murder his mate. It hurt me because it was the first act of betrayal I ever experienced. There were three words from that moment I do remember clearly- three words that saved me from one of the deepest scars possible.

'Close your eyes'

Those three words were my mother's last. As I said, I don't remember much, except for the stories my father would tell me of course. But I do remember something she told me after I had struggled reading a book she gave me, I had always hated reading, it was just something my brain couldn't get, words just seemed to float off of the page in jumbled orders- nothing made sense, and it made me so frustrated with myself because I just couldn't do it. She held me in a tight embrace and told me to repeat three phrases.

I am safe

I am protected

I am loved

And so now, leaning on this railing, I close my eyes, taking a slow breath and repeating the three phrases to myself. My breaths get slower as I steady my subconscious, pulling all of my jumbled thoughts back into alignment. I am safe: the ache in my head begins to dull, I am protected: I feel two arms wrap around me and I turn to sink into the hug, I am loved: Adrien pulls me in tighter, rubbing his hand over my back in soothing motions. We stay there for a moment, a moment that I wish could last forever, before we pull away and he looks at me with worried eyes.

"Are you okay?" I answer him honestly,

"I will be."

A/N

I know this is late! I'm sorry! I've been dealing with schoolwork as well as writer's block which isn't very pleasant but I pushed through it to get this out- also I just really missed writing! Anyway, I hope you enjoyed, I promise you won't have to wait like another two weeks for the next chapter! Stay home, stay safe and thank you all for reading!