CHAPTER 15: Uncertainties.

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 “You don’t know what you’re doing to me right now, Elerie,” he said in a low, husky voice. “Though I’m trying my best not to...” I just chuckled to cover up how nervous I currently am.

                 I’m thinking over with regards to what I am about to do... but it seems to me that using my mind as of now got me nowhere. So, I decided to trust my wolf instinct and above all... my heart. Though, some part of my antagonistic brain told me to do otherwise.

                With all the braveness I manage to gather in this very short notice, I leaned over to him and told something even I, myself, can’t believe I uttered.

“Make love to me then... “I whispered, glad that I didn’t stammer or something while saying so.

                I looked at his reaction. He seems to be in wonderland for his features told me he somehow doubt if what he heard is right.

Dang! Beats me! Even I can’t believe it too...

                But after that phase, his expression lit up and without any hesitation, he took my hand and we ran our way upstairs. We passed the hallway and halted in front of a room. He turned the door knob and we enter not bothering to open the lights.

                 Upon closing the door, Lindon pulled me closer and crushed our lips together. The taste of his mouth mixes with mine as we explore the unknown boundaries this act will lead us.

                He gently spins me off as my back is now facing him. I felt as his lips leave damp kisses along the side of my cheek, then trailing down to my neck where it stayed longer. He lightly bit the area between my shoulder and my neck causing me to moan in ecstasy. I heard him growl in response.

                 Lindon slowly unzipped the gown I am wearing. His warm fingers tracing my bare skin –making my body ache in pleasure with his every touch. He then finally let my gown fell off leaving me in just my bra and undies. I giggled when he carried me bridal style and slumped us on the bed –guy on top. I unhooked my bra and slid off the last two pieces of cloth that still covers me.

Now, I’m completely in my birthday suit.

                 He stares at my entirety... mixed emotions of lust, desire, admiration and passion all over his face.

“You’re wonderful...” he told me. I smiled to him as I lean over, reach for his tux and start to unbutton his.

                 Seconds later, I saw for the first time my mate like some Greek God sent straight from Mt. Olympus. His undeniable glory made me gawked at him for a second. He chuckled when he saw how dumbfounded I am seeing his nakedness.

                After recovering from the earlier scene, my mate and I started to explore the wonders of our body. The feeling of my hands on his bare chest woke up the lustful side of my being. Lindon gently pushed me back to bed and start to plant kisses all over my face. He even nibbled my left ear causing me to gasp as it sends electric shock in my every fiber.

 His lips continue to trail down to my neck. He even goes further as he sucked in one of my breast while his free hand doing circular motion on the other. I bit my lip just to suppress the moan of pleasure coming out from me.

                His playful hands are enjoying as it traces every curve of my body. Lindon then look straight to my eyes as he brushes off his finger on my clit. I can’t help but to moan out loud because of the million volts of electricity it brought. He repeats touching that sensitive part of mine and this time, he held back my moan by kissing me hungrily.

                This whole love making thing is so new to me. The kisses, the touches, the feeling I cannot put a name on sends addicting effect on my body. As my wolf and I enjoying every minute of this with my mate, a part of my brain is trying to resurface some thoughts in my head...

I can actually take some more part of you. Your mate and his pack…

                At that, the events that took place earlier played in my mind like some James-Wan-horror-movie kind of thing. My eyes flew open as I felt my body stiffened a bit.  The once warmth and nice feeling I had experience earlier drastically changed into a haunting, feeling of coldness. It’s like I’ve been splashed by a pail of really cold water from North Pole.

 As these things sank in my now functioning brain, pair of eyes look at me in confusion. I open my mouth to speak, though I don’t know what to say. Our eyes gazed at the closed door as we heard a knock coming from behind it. I sighed in relief thinking I am saved by the bell.

“I-I’ll check it,” I said without looking at him. A growl erupted from his chest making me scurry off from the bed. I grabbed the robe hanging outside the dresser and put it on me in haste. I run-walk towards the door and popped out my head upon opening it.

“Yes?” I smiled a bit to the hotel boy.

“Good evening Ma’am. Elder Vladimir said he wants to talk to you now if you are free. He’s in the penthouse,” he said, eyes on the floor. I contemplated whether to go back to my mate or just escape by talking to the elder. I decided that the latter option is the best for both of us.

“Be there in a minute,” I told him. He bowed his head before walking off his way towards the elevator. I sigh deeply before closing the door and go back inside.

                 The desire filling the atmosphere here in the room a moment ago vanished. Now, what’s left is the eerie silence and a very awkward situation. I grabbed my lingerie scattered on the floor and put it back on. I stood and walk to where my gown is and wear it. I reach for my back and pull upward the zipper –feeling his eyes on mine while I’m doing the whole dressing thing and never meeting his gaze.

“I’ll have to go,” I uttered in almost a whisper as I finished composing myself... my back turned to him. I heard his footsteps coming to mine and in a swift, his arms were wrapped around my waist halting me from leaving.

“Don’t go Elerie, please. Whatever’s bothering you... I’m begging you to tell me,” he said in my ear. I flinched hearing those words for I know I cannot tell him right now. It just doesn’t feel right to involve him and his pack in my mess.

                 I turned around to see his face, only to regret it right after because I can see his soul. His inside that tells me he really wants to be a part of whatever I am facing. That he wants to regain my trust and will do whatever just to have it. Those eyes that scream at me he loves me and will do anything just for my sake... only for me.

 I stared on the floor not wanting anymore to see all those emotions raking up the insides of me.

“Not n-now,” I told him instead, shaking my head. “I’m sorry,” I said as I get off from his hands and walk out the door.

                Every step I make brought a pounding sensation in my chest. The feeling of someone’s twisting his dagger in my heart, repeatedly, is what it is like right now –it hurts ten thousand folds. I know he feels the same way too because eventhough he still doesn’t mark me yet –making our bond not that so strong— still, the fact that he’s my mate enables me to feel what he’s feeling as of this moment.

And I am the reason why he is hurting...

                I said to my wolf causing her to whimper with such torment. Hot liquids escape my eyes as I enter the elevator. Seeing no one’s inside, I burst into tears and cry my eyes out realizing how stupid I am for hurting Lindon when he only wants what’s best for me...

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