Chapter 1 ~guilt~

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<^><^> New story, New year. <^><^>

~Hope you guys like this one as much as INNOCENT EYES, and hope it is as much of a success. :)  Criticism is gladly welcomed and encouragment is too <3

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(¸.•' (¸.•' ¤ Danielle = )

Love.

Loved her? ~ yes.

Love me? ~ Never

**That part was quite clear the night my mother died.

I'd like to think my parents were happy at one point, though I know deep down I'm sure they never where.  As soon as I hit the picture their perfect lives disintegrated, that's what my father tells me anyways.  When I was younger, I remember always being at my mothers' side. It was like we were joined at the hip, the way we were always together. 

This comfort I got from my mother was something I very much held to heart. The only thing my father ever gave me though, where stares of disgust and occasional handshakes.  Unlike me, my friends at school got the love and attention they deserved every second of the day by both of their parents.  I often wanted what they had but sooner or later I just gave up trying.  The only one who cared truly was my mother, the one who gave birth to me at Mercy hospital in May of 93. I would give anything to see her face again. Though she may have been an exact replica of me, no one can take back what's already been done.  It haunts me to this day, the night my mother died.  

Flashback**

It was a Saturday night in late July. The summer heat caressed my skin as the dark clouds of dusk flew in overhead. I watched the sky grow dark while my parents got ready for the 'big night'.  My mothers' work was having a huge celebration for their epic win in Finances and stock.

My mother was your average banker, even though she often worked in off branches to earn the extra cash in the super model clothing line of retail. Though we never really needed it, I knew she just did that job for the free clothes. Who wouldn't you know? 

 My father had wanted just the two of them to go, but my mother insisted that she wanted me there.  My father loved my mother, he would do anything for her. But when the subject was set upon my standards, he did everything he could to keep me from her. It was clear he didn't want me to go along, but my mothers' wishes were dearer to him than anything. 

~~~ Party~~~

When we arrived at the party, the whole upper level of the bank was filled with Silver and white balloons, along with hundreds of people I didn't know.  I stayed at my mothers' side while my father on the other.  Almost immediately we were greeted with her co-workers and bosses.

 Reluctantly I had to shake hands with almost all of them.  I hated meeting strangers. It had to be the worst feeling ever, the awkwardness was unbearable as they asked random questions of how I was doing. 

As if they truly cared. They only ask to be polite, but why bother when it's obvious that nobody cares?  I noticed that my father had wandered off, but at the time thought nothing of it.

 The music was blasting and many people were dancing, I just wasn't into it. I sat on a large black sofa, a medium sized coffee table filled with party food and empty cups filled its surface in front of me. 

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