Escape of the Nerk Twins

Chapter IV

Sigh.  Christmas came and went, yet I did not receive a Beatle.  Oh well.  I guess I'll just have to satisfy myself with writing fanfiction!

A/N:  Thanks so much to all my reviewers!  This chapter is a late Christmas present but early release (if that makes any sense) for you guys.  On FanFiction:  leah9712, Macca's Little Teddy Bear, omgringo, and the Mysterious Guest.  On WattPad:  Macca40 and MasterofFire.

"Please, can you just send out a couple of cars?" pled Brian desperately. He twisted the telephone cord back and forth between his fingers.

"Our department has had enough work from you lot!" exclaimed the Dundee policeman on the other end of the line. "We will not go gallivanting off after a couple of young upstarts!"

Brian sighed fretfully. "You will regret this, you know." They both knew it was an empty threat. The policeman on the other end of the line hung up.

Brian took the phone away from his ear and stared at it for a second before hanging up. He stepped out of the phone booth and kicked it.

George and Ringo looked up from their card game inside the bus just in time to see this display of anger.

"Is Brian going mad?" a slightly worried Ringo asked George.

George shrugged. "Either way it's entertaining."

They idly watched as Mal and Neil raced out of the gas station and halfway across the parking lot, realized they'd forgotten something, and dashed back inside.

Meanwhile, Brian stormed back into the telephone booth and telephoned the Glasgow police.

"Hello? Yes, this is Brian Epstein, manager of the pop group the Beatles," said Brian. "Can you put me through to the detective inspector?"

He waited for the secretary to give the telephone to her employer.

"Hello, this is Detective Inspector MacGregor," said a voice on the other end of the line, at long last. "Is this Mr. Epstein?"

"This is he," replied Brian instantly.

"How may I help you?" asked DI MacGregor.

"Two members of my group have gone missing," replied Brian. "I need your help tracking them down."

"Missing?" asked DI MacGregor. "How long have they been gone?"

"About twenty minutes," replied Brian, glancing back down at his watch and feeling rather silly.

DI MacGregor guffawed. "How do you know they haven't just gone around the corner for a bite to eat?"

"There aren't any corners, we're in the middle of nowhere," replied Brian, gritting his teeth. "And we know they bought a dilapidated Ford Anglia and then disappeared to God-knows-where."

"You mean they ran away?" chuckled DI MacGregor. "I don't think you can report grown men taking the day off as missing persons!"

"You can if it means thousands of pounds down the toilet!" exclaimed Brian loudly. Neil, who was jogging past the phone booth back to the bus, jumped.

"Alright, alright," said DI MacGregor hastily. "No need to worry, we'll have our best men on it. Where are you now?"

"Er . . . ." said Brian. "Somewhere between Dundee and Glasgow."

As he and DI MacGregor tried to figure out where exactly Brian was, Mal raced back across the windy parking lot to the bus.

He shoved open the bus's door and jumped in.

"Hello, Mal," said George, not bothering to look up from his hand of cards. "How's the search going?"

"I dunno," replied Mal, running a hand through his hair. "Brian's still on the phone with the police."

"Something about a toilet," added Neil distractedly. He was sitting near the back of the bus, pouring over a road map of Scotland with a thick pencil.

Ringo frowned. "What do toilets have to do with anything?"

Brian pulled open the bus door and stepped in. "I have a plan," he announced. Mal quickly got out of the way, sitting down in the nearest seat.

"If it involves toilets, I'm out," said George emphatically. "Last time we had a plan involving toilets, it was John's idea. I'm not going through that again."

Brian stared at George. "Why would it have anything to do with toilets?"

"Neil said it did," said Ringo accusatively.

"Hmm?" asked Neil, looking up from the map.

"Anyway," said Brian pointedly. "The Glasgow police have been alerted to the situation and are acting accordingly. They'll be looking for John and Paul, and communicating with other police departments to aid in the search. However, we have to help them by coming up with a valid cover story for John and Paul's absence."

"Why do we need a cover story?" Ringo interrupted.

"Because," sighed Brian, "If your fans found out that you are at all untrustworthy, they would stop being fans rather quickly."

"Oi! George and I aren't untrustworthy!" complained Ringo.

George snickered.

"I was thinking that we would say Paul has suddenly become ill," said Brian. "And John has stayed with him in the hospital."

"Sounds good," replied Mal. Neil took a moment to nod before returning to his map.

"Right, let's go to Glasgow, then!" suggested George.

"First, Ringo, will you run in and give the gas station owner this phone number?" requested Brian, holding out a piece of paper to the drummer. "It's my secretary's number. Tell the woman behind the counter that if she finds out anything more about John and Paul's disappearance, she should call this number."

Ringo nodded in approval. He got up, took the piece of paper from Brian, and ran out into the cold. He raced into the gas station and handed the paper to the woman behind the counter.

Ringo took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and said very quickly, "This is my secretary's number, call her – wait, no – if she finds out anything more about John and Paul's disappearance, she should call this number. Wait, that's not right – if you find out anything more about John and Paul's disappearance, you should call this number. And it's Brian's secretary, not mine. I don't have a secretary."

The woman blinked.

"Ta!" said Ringo. He ran back out of the gas station and into the bus. "Ready to go, everybody?"

"I suppose we haven't got much choice," said Brian grimly.

A/N:  Your last act of the year could be to leave me a review!  Well, maybe not.  But still, it could be!  Make someone happy before the new year begins ;0)