Holy Vision

Chapter 9

Cas felt the pain in his stomach as Dean's lips moved. He cocked his head slightly. He couldn't hear what he was shouting, but Cas could've sworn he was saying his name. He looked down to find the blade buried in his stomach. A soft blue glow was emanating from the wound and a circle of red began to form on the skin around it. He stumbled forward as he looked up to Dean who was running past him now, still violently shouting. He tried to turn and call out Dean's name but found his face hitting the pavement. He felt the ground move slightly as a pair of shoes quickly approached his feet. He saw Jesmind's still body laying in the distance.

Cas felt a pair of hands on his body as he was pushed onto his back. Dean's face appeared above his and the hands moved to cup Cas' cheeks. He was saying something to him, but Cas still couldn't hear anything besides a constant ringing in his ears. He tried to tell Dean he couldn't hear him, but his mouth wouldn't move. Dean started shouting at someone (probably Sam), before turning back to face him. Cas' eyes were fluttering softly, and he could feel his vision blurring as a sudden exhaustion came over him.

Dean started slapping his hand against Cas' face to wake him back up. "Cas? Hey! Come back to me buddy stay here!" he was shouting into the night. Cas' eyes shot up as he reached out to grasp Dean's arm.

"Dean," he breathed. The ringing in his ears had died down and he felt more in control.

"That's it. Don't fall asleep on me now," he said while softly brushing Cas' cheek. The angel began to realize how much pain was in his stomach as he groaned helplessly. His grip on Dean's arm never faltered.

Dean watched as Cas' wings shook and trembled under him. They'd fold and rush out as if gasping for air and clinging onto whatever life they still possessed. "The blade," Cas choked, "take it out." Dean did so immediately and listened to the low growls that escaped Cas' mouth. The hand around his arm clenching tighter. "Is it mine?" he asked. "The blade."

Dean examined it. "Yes, I think so."

Cas laughed painfully and visibly relaxed. His wings, however, did not. They continued their violent shakes as feathers one by one began to droop. "It's not like Hamlet then," Cas observed.

Dean had removed his flannel and was using it to apply pressure to Cas' bleeding stomach. "What?"

Cas watched the stars above him and listened to Dean's whispers of hope. He'd feel his hands pressing into his stomach and then one would slide over his chest and up to rub his cheek before returning to its job. A thought occurred to Cas and he squinted at the stars in confusion. "How did you find me?" he choked out.

Dean smiled to himself. Cas' hands brushed his as he offered to now apply the pressure so Dean could talk straight to his face. Cas' face was strained in pain and his wings seemed to clench as if to ease it slightly. Dean placed a hand over Cas' chest and replaced one onto the side of his face. "We used a tracking spell with one of your," Dean bit his lip. He wasn't sure how Cas would react to this, but he wanted to tell him now. "We used one of your feathers."

Cas gasped and winced as his body lurched slightly forward. He stared at Dean in shock and embarrassment. "You--you can see them?" he stammered.

A choked sob escaped Dean's mouth as a few tears drew from his eyes. "Yes Cas. Yes I can see them. Ever since I walked into that damn diner. And god are they fucking beautiful."

Cas smiled painfully. "How?"

Dean pointed at his face. "Glasses torched in holy oil. We used them to see hellhounds, but I kept them on in case I could see anything else. I'm so glad I did. I can't seem to take them off or my eyes away from you for that matter."

Cas took one hand away from his wound and slid it behind Dean, weakly pulling him down into a hug. He let his wings fan out as they trembled and loosely wrapped around Dean before tightening closer with as much force his dead muscles would allow. Dean's breath hitched at the final contact of his wings. They trapped warmth around him but brushed reassurance and love into him. Dean felt whole and like this was where he should be for the rest of his life. Pressed against Cas and held by his wings. "I d-don't want t-to die," Cas choked into Dean's ear.

Dean let out a loud sob into Cas' neck. "You're not going to. I won't let you."

Cas felt his eyes start fluttering again and the exhaustion creep back into his body. He shivered and shallow gasps began wracking through his body. Air was barely flowing through his lungs as he felt the tiniest trickle of blood dribble from his mouth. "D-Dean listen t-to me. I-I'm--"

Dean abruptly shot up and pleaded, "Please just hold on. Sam's coming with the car. You're gonna be okay." Tears were now pouring down his face as Dean saw the paleness of Cas' skin and the fresh blood escaping his mouth.

Cas took deep breaths to get him through the next words. "I a-am going to p-pass out. Y-you take m-me back to th-the bunker and w-wait. Pray that m-my grace will b-be enough."

Dean grabbed Cas' face in his hands and held him inches from his own. "No, no Cas. You can't!"

Cas tried to smile as he gently placed his hand under Dean's chin, his wings falling limp behind him. He used what little strength he had left to close the gap between them and gingerly press his lips into Dean's. Dean whimpered against his soft lips and kissed back until Cas' hand dropped from his chin and his head fell limp in his hands. "Cas?" he whispered before pulling the angel against his chest and violently weeping. The cries wracked through his shoulders and sent shivers down his entire body. "You're gonna be okay. I'll fix you," he mumbled repeatedly into Cas' hair. "Let's go find Sammy, okay?"

He stood up slowly with Cas' body tightly held against him. He could feel the angel's chest rising and falling very subtly. He's still alive. He stumbled a few steps and watched in horror as Cas' wings dragged lifelessly on the ground. They wouldn't so much as twitch. "Sammy!" he cried out into the night. Seconds later he watched as the impala's head lights turn into the alley.

Sam rushed out of the car and toward Dean stumbling across the pavement. "Is he okay?"

"Just get in the car Sammy. We're going home," he weakly replied. Sam climbed back into the driver's seat and watched as Dean carefully laid Cas into the back. Dean walked around to the other side and sat next to Cas. As Sam began the drive home, Dean placed the angel's head into his lap and gently stroked his hair. He held one of Cas' hands and softly pressed a kiss to his forehead.

Sam watched his brother sadly from the front seat. Dean hadn't stopped crying and although he was being very quiet about it, Sam could still hear the whimpers. He neglected to ask Dean why Cas' blood was smeared across his bottom lip and why they weren't going to a hospital.

I'm not saying goodbye to you yet, Dean thought between choked sobs.