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review three: At Banes

Plotline: It's a simple one-shot with 3000 words so there's not much you can fit in there in terms of plot. Although it was simple, it was short and sweet! I think the budding puppy love between Neel and Jhanvi was cute and definitely ended on a good note. Though I feel the description was a little misleading. You mentioned that Neel would sell his kidneys and testicles to catch her attention, and I took it literally, so I thought it was going to be a heavy and bittersweet love story but it was quite the opposite. But I'm not disappointed, it was a light and fun read! Though it did feel a little bland I guess, there was very little interaction between Neel and Jhanvi that I couldn't really feel a lot of the chemistry or the attraction, but I can understand since you can only put so much in 3000 words. But I think you could've done a lot more "showing" instead of "telling. Like instead of Neel narrating this and that and everything about Jhanvi, you could show it instead. Show Neel staring at her from afar and admiring her instead of having him narrate "I saw Jhanvi and x y z happened" but otherwise, it was still decent!

Character development: There's not much to say, from the beginning it was already clear that Neel was infatuated with her and it's the same thing towards the end. But I like how he is realistic, he didn't go up to her right away like a confident man. He was shy and very reserved and you were consistent with that and you really emulated his character as a shy guy who has a secret crush, like this is very realistic of someone who is like that. Though I thought it was a little bizarre that out of nowhere he grew confidence and a pair of balls to see her in her dorm, you called it 'Divine Intervention' and even Neel agrees that nothing could explain how or why he decided to boldly approach her. I think their conversation would've already been a good trigger to that instead of 'Divine Intervention' or something that was so out of blue. But that's just my thoughts regarding character development. For Jhanvi, not much character development was clear either. We know little of her personality and only are given snippets from Neel's narrations so we don't really know her in and out but just through the eyes of Neel, which is fine because we are in his pov. So I can't say much about her, her feelings toward Neel are also a little unclear from start to finish. But that's alright as well as we are from Neel's pov and Neel can't certainly know her feelings, so it's all good.

Grammar and punctuation: Here, you have some punctuation and grammar errors littered all around the chapter. I suggest you do a quick proofread or check through Grammarly or even an editor would suffice. They weren't outright annoying that frustrated me as a reader, but I was able to pick up these bits and pieces here and there while reading but it didn't fully take away from the reading experience so that's alright.