How Are You, Really? (Drarry)

Chapter Forty-One: The Awakening II

Special thanks to @paradisedraco for making this chapter a reality!

Draco sat in his hospital bed with Althea on one side and Harry on the other. For the first time in a long time, Draco was nervous in the presence of the Healer – her usual calm façade that reminded him so much of Luna was cracked, and genuine concern laced her features.

"What's wrong?" Harry asked.

Althea pursed her lips, and Draco added, "You can say whatever in front of Harry, I give you permission."

The Healer relaxed slightly. "It's about your mother."

Draco noticeably paled, which was a feat in and of itself given his coloring. "What about her?"

Althea sighed deeply. "Your mother isn't getting better. In fact, she's been steadily declining. I wouldn't be surprised if she was gone by the time your school term is over."

Draco sat there feeling as if he's just been hit with a frying pan. He didn't know how to feel beyond stunned.

Harry squeezed his hand. "That's not all, is it, Althea?"

Nodding slowly, the Healer added, "You know how we went through all those exercises to help you address your issues with your mother?"

"Um, yea." How could he forget when they had taken up hours and hours of therapy.

"I think now would be a good time to talk to your mother about what you're feeling. Even if she doesn't respond, this might be the last chance you have while she's alive. And regret is a heavy burden to live with."

Draco was silent while he tried to work out what he wanted to say. "I understand. Thank you, Althea. I'll think about it."

She nodded and rose. "I'm glad to see you're doing better. You had us all worried for you."

Silence permeated the room after she left, Harry letting Draco think over the situation.

"I think I'm both sad and relieved she's dying," Draco finally said. "Does that make me a bad person?"

"I think you can love and hate someone at the same time, and that doesn't make you a bad person or confused."

Draco nodded slowly. "I love her because she's my mother, but after all the things she allowed to happen to me... I hate her, too."

"So, are you going to go talk to her?"

Draco nodded again. "Let's go."

Harry's eyebrows rose. "Right now?"

"Well, we're in the same hospital, might as well."

It was slow going, Draco leaning heavily on Harry as he was still weak. When they reached Narcissa's room, they paused.

"You don't have to do this," Harry said.

"I do," Draco replied slowly. "I really do."

They entered, and Draco sat near his mother's head. He didn't grab her hand. Harry sat next to him. Even to Draco's untrained eyes, he could see the hint of death hovering over his mother. Her color was gray, and her breathing seemed forced.

"Hello, Mother."

Silence.

"I don't know where to start. I guess I can say that you were always a shitty mother. I felt more love from Molly Weasley in half a day than I've felt from you in my entire life. You were cold and distant and cruel at times.

"Your obsession with Father blinded you to the horrendous abuse he put me through. He was a monster, and you led your own flesh and blood into his lair. I can never forgive you for not even trying to protect me. I know you knew what was going on, and yet you did nothing.

"You raised me to think everyone was below me, especially nonmagical folk. The only kindness I can remember receiving as a child was from Dobby, a creature you thought of as dirt. Even if he was still alive, I could never repay him for the kindness he showed me when I needed it most.

"And post-war," Draco choked on his words. "And post-war, when I needed you most, you chose Father over me, again. I have never been good enough for you. You made me feel like I would never be good enough for anyone."

Harry squeezed his hand tightly as if to say, "You are enough for me."

"And I'm gay, mother. I'm gay as fuck, and I'm dating Harry Potter." He stopped, breathing hard. He turned to Harry, who was staring at him with wide eyes. They widen every farther, and his mouth fell open. Draco realized his gaze was fixed on something behind Draco. Turning, Draco met the unsettling blue eyes of his mother.

"What a disgusting disappointment you are, Draco."