Rude Awakenings: A Novel of the Terribly Acronymed Detective Club (Book 2)

Chapter Nineteen: Lauren, Summer, 2002

Toshiro DiTomaso was a six pound boy with Joe's face and a shock of black hair. It was her father's hair, and when they saw it they both agreed that he couldn't have any other name. He came into the world quietly, not angry at being ejected from the warm safety of the womb, but struck dumb by the wonder of everything he was experiencing. Joe was fascinated by his son's demeanor. "He's our Zen baby," he joked.

When Joe told his parents they named their son after her father, Lauren had to look away from the disappointment on Mr. DiTomaso's face. She was sure he'd thought they would honour him, but when they announced his middle name would be Umberto, he cheered up. Lauren came up with the solution on the spot; they'd had a different middle name in mind, but in the interests of family harmony, she decided to do it this way, and Joe gave her a grateful look as soon as she made the announcement.

The card attached to the baby gift they received from them had the spelling wrong. Benvenuto, Tosciro! When Lauren remarked on this, Joe chuckled and said, "Don't be too hard on them. That's the Italian way of spelling it. This is their way of trying. You know, it's interesting that you can spell the proper pronunciation in Italian; Toshiro can almost be an Italian name, however unusual it might be."

Lauren looked at her husband in appreciation and said, "You know, babe, this is why I love you. You can find the bright side of anything."

Naomi was unsure about her new baby brother. When he eventually did cry for the bottle, for diaper changes and for sleep, she asked, "Can we take him back?" as if they'd gotten him at the store.

The bottle was another point of contention with Joe's parents, especially Joe's mom, whose own saggy breasts told the story of two well-fed, beefy boys. She was mystified that Lauren wasn't able to make enough milk to feed her babies, it was the most natural thing in the world. She couldn't make enough milk, that was true; her breasts never swelled as much as she'd hoped they would, that was the one thing she'd been looking forward to with pregnancy. The real reason she bottle fed, though, was that it allowed Joe to shoulder his share of the childcare duties when he might have been tempted to let her spend hours trying to coax nutrition from her nipples into the mouths of her ravenous tots while he sat in his recliner and had a beer. Nope. He would not be his brother Johnny, whom she'd seen at countless family gatherings happily shirking his responsibilities while poor Valeria sat in a room somewhere, out of sight of embarrassed family members, being milked. Her marriage was going to be as equal as possible. 

Another reason she went with the bottle was that she only had so much maternity leave with her work, and she wanted to be able to go back knowing her babies wouldn't starve without her. Joe's mom also took issue with her working after having children, of course, unwilling to understand why she wouldn't want to spend every waking moment with them. For this reason, Lauren left her kids with her mom and dad most of the time for babysitting. Toshiro and Ellen Hasegawa, for their part, seemed to enjoy being grandparents more than they did being parents. Grandpa especially took to the role, being home much more than he used to be now that he was effectively retired; he doted on Naomi, and spent hours just holding and looking at his new grandson, his namesake, baby and old man regarding each other in complete silence and wonder, past and future coming to a meeting of minds, moving Lauren more than she could express.

"When he grows," he said in Japanese, "he will become a poet, a philosopher. I will teach him aikido, and how to use a bokken."

"You will teach Toshiro and Naomi," Lauren said in Japanese. "Do not forget your granddaughter now that you have a grandson. You taught me to be a warrior without prejudice; give Naomi the same consideration."

"Lauren-chan," he said in Japanese, smiling at her through his tears. "My little samurai. Do not think I have forgotten Naomi. I would be honoured to teach her too, but I thought... I thought you would take that honour for yourself."