All For You [New Girl]

5. The Morning After

Nick woke again hours later. This time by the gentler sounds of Winston making coffee.

"Hey man," Winston said when he noticed Nick was awake, "Why are you sleeping on the couch?" He walked in front of Nick and survey the situation.

"It's raining in my room." Winston just nodded.

"Cool. You get lucky last night?"

"Not really"—Nick rubbed his temples with his palms—"Why?"

"There's a bra," Winston said. He pointed leisurely at Nick's feet. There was, in fact, a black bra there. Nick recoiled, and in the process managed to kick it five feet away onto the floor.

"That's Claire's."

"Oh. Oh?"

"No."

"Oh, that's right. She's dating that engineer."

"They're not dating. They just went on a date."

"Oh," Winston said pointedly, "They when on a date? Like people do when they're dating?"

"Don't sass me this early in the morning, Winston. I can barely deal with Schmidt."

"What do you mean 'the morning,' dude? It's two o'clock."

"Oh great. I gotta go check on my water balloon."

"Do I want to know?"

"Probably not."

"Alright."

Nick heaved himself to his feet and stretched lightly. His back cracked once, twice, three times. Then he walked to his room. He opened the door gently, as if not to disturb a sleeping beast. The plastic bag he had put into place last night was still there, but barely. It bulged grotesquely. The printed words of the side were stretched and distorted, turning a supermarket "Thank You" into the ghastly script one might expect to see on the exit doors of a haunted house. A few pieces of the duct tape had sprung free. Many more looked like they were in their last minutes.

"Oh my God, what is that?" came a voice from behind him. Claire stood in a jeans and t-shirt, eyes wide. Nick had no answer, so he just turned back to the bag and watched it.

"Is it alive?" Claire asked.

"I don't think so. But there's no way of knowing."

"What's in it?"

"Dirty water. Maybe transmission fluid."

"That's coming from the ceiling? You need to get the landlord."

"No!" Nick said a little too loud, "No, I'm not talking to that guy."

"Why not?"

"Remy is actually insane. The guy's probably got bodies hidden all over the apartment complex."

"You just haven't gotten to know him!" Claire kept one eye on the plastic alien sprouting from above. It almost looked like a cartoon punching bag, except one hit would earn them a nasty shower.

"Not you too," Nick groaned, "I have gotten to know him. I almost had a threesome with him."

"I- What?"

"Look, it doesn't matter-"

"You almost had a threesome with him?"

"The point is I'm not calling Remy."

"You don't have to, I will." She turned on her heels and marched away, evidently to retrieve the landlord. Nick grabbed her by the arm.

"No, you won't."