V e l v e t V e s t s

00:08

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Reed

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Ghost left late that night, leaving me to my own thoughts.

We talked all day, till the evening, till we were both falling asleep on each other. 

During it all, I couldn't help but feel normal again, like I was whole again and not the girl that lost the use of her legs. I had my legs draped over his long ones and his long fingers were playing on the small exposed skin, near my hip bones. The sensation nearly caused me to lose my mind and I never felt the magical tingle in the pits of my stomach.

His lips were another source of magic itself. When I was talking, his lips were always kissing my hair and I would always catch my breath afterwards. His chest would rumble with laughter and I was slightly annoyed because he knew the effect he had on me, yet he still carried on.

I wasn't going to deny that I did like it. Truth to be told, I think I enjoyed it more than I could allow myself to.

Ghost was a great person and it didn't have to take the deep conversations to conclude that. He gave me his full attention and even ignored the multiple texts and calls he was getting. The engrossed look he would have all over his face truly warmed my heart and I felt as though as I was being heard for the first time.

He would laugh at every single thing I did and smile at my sly comments. He made sure we were always touching, either our hands were intertwined or our legs would be tangled. A hot flush consumed my cheeks every-time Ghost had scooted closer until out lower bodies were fully pressed together. Our voices would drop a few times so we were whispering our secrets and telling our stories to one another. 

Our lips would always be dangerously close and when Ghost would chuckle, with his chest pressed against mine, my mind would go off in it's own turmoil. And then somehow, our lips would be touching but we wouldn't be kissing. Just small, innocent and soft brushes of our lips and I could honestly say it was better than kissing because those small touches made my heart burst open.

And now I was all alone, staring up at my ceiling with a shy smile on my face. I replayed those soft brushes over and over again in my head and closed my eyes as a giggle came out of me. 

"Leo." I whispered, fisting the covers at my side and squealing in the dark by myself. Anyone would think I lost a few screws tonight but I knew I had the best night in my life.

I turned my head on my pillowcase and my eye landed on the brown envelope that was on my bedside draw. My heart stopped beating for a few seconds when reality came crashing down on me and I cursed out loud for thinking that my life was okay all of a sudden. Just spending the whole day with Ghost made me think that everything was okay now?

That I could be normal again?

I choked on empty air, fisting the covers tightly in my fist but this time out of anger and not excitement. I pinched myself for allowing myself to dream and give myself false hope when I knew the ending of everything.

But still. What Ghost gave me today was probably the best parting gift that I could ever want and even though I knew I didn't deserve it, the small amount of happiness that I gained from Ghost's company is something I would always treasure.

I reached over for the envelope and pulled out four pre-written letters. I looked over them like I have been doing for the past two months and I knew the written date was- my eyes travelled to my bedside clock and saw that it was nearly two in the morning. Today. Today was the day.

Fuck.

Before I put away the letters, I re-read them all again, my teeth clamming down hard on my lips. Today was the day. 

I was well too deep in my head as I put on my pre-picked clothes. Until I was fully clothed did I stop moving and look back at the envelope.

One more. 

_

_

_

I let myself fall, letting the calmness engulf me. With so many times imagining everything about this moment, what I was going to do with my hands, my feet, what would be the last thought to linger in my head. The least I expected was thinking about Leo and our first encounter. How he somehow caught me and stopped me from falling backwards with my wheelchair. And with how he stumbled over his name. Leo. Ghost. And his face, his eyes. The small freckles that dusted over his jawline and the softness of his hair. He was my hero for the night.

But he wasn't larger than the night that was everlasting in my life.

And maybe tonight I would find a way out the night.

With one last thought, I closed my eyes and let go.

Finally.

/////

Sorry guys, hope you guys understand what I did here and please don't be hating so quickly. 

And just to let you know, Velvet Vests is coming to an end soon. Either on 00:09 or 00:10. 

Thanks for reading :)

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L a c y L e a t h e r s: 00:10

Laters!

-n