Ride or Die

Of All the Gin Joints

Chapter 6: Of All the Gin Joints

"I am also capable of driving myself, you know," Hermione sighed, climbing carefully into the front seat of Dean's car. "You don't have to show up to kidnap me every time you two want to have a drink."

"Ooh, good, you actually dressed up," Padma crooned from the backseat, leaning forward to give Hermione a loud, smacking kiss on the cheek. "And yes, actually, we do have to kidnap you - otherwise who knows where you'd be." She sniffed her disapproval. "Suturing bananas, fluffing pillows, I don't know - pretending to not be dating Harry, I guess - "

"I'm not pretending!" Hermione insisted, pulling her skirt down - god, why, why - and shifting in her seat as she pulled her stilettoed feet in to shut the door. "We're just friends - "

"We know," Dean said, flashing her a smile. "Or at least, Seamus and I do, anyway." He gestured to Padma. "This one's having a harder time maintaining a handle on her delusions."

"Listen," Padma opened grandly, "I just think I'd have a lot easier time shamelessly trying to sleep with his partner if you were doing the same," she concluded, throwing herself back against her seat with a shrug.

"Well, she's definitely sleeping with someone," Dean said with a smirk, putting his car in reverse. "Aren't you?"

Hermione stiffened. "No," she protested stubbornly, feeling her cheeks flush - though it wasn't a lie, exactly. It had been a week since she'd seen Draco, after all.

A fact that she was painfully aware of.

"Oh please," Padma drawled, scoffing. "I don't know why you insist on deluding us - we're sort of brilliant, you know - "

"Yes," Dean agreed. "Very brilliant. And we definitely took stock of the infamously punctual Hermione Granger sprinting through the halls last week, hair still damp - "

"So I overslept one time," Hermione groaned, cutting him off. "What are you two, my parents?"

"I don't know, Dad," Padma mused, reaching up to smack Dean's shoulder affectionately. "Think she's lying to us?"

"I think she is, Mom," Dean agreed, turning to wrinkle his nose playfully at Hermione. "Is she grounded, do you think? Should we send her to her room?"

"Not funny," Hermione grumbled, crossing her arms over her chest.

"No, Dad, I think it's better for both of us if we get her completely sloshed instead," Padma determined with a nod. "I mean, really - why should we have to suffer for her terrible misbehaviors?"

"I hate you both," Hermione informed them, and Dean and Padma locked eyes in the rearview mirror, laughing.

"Teenagers," Dean sighed, shrugging. "What can you do?"

"They always hate their parents," Padma lamented, reaching up to tug on one of Hermione's loose curls. "And after all we've done for you - "

"Yes," Dean continued dramatically, "And how hard we work - "

"Okay, I get it, you're hilarious," Hermione said, rolling her eyes.

Maybe she should just let them think she was dating Harry, she thought, looking out the window as they drove; it would certainly make things easier, or would at least ensure they'd leave her alone. She'd certainly seen plenty of him over the last few weeks, and she was irrepressibly fond of him - he was, after all, probably the only real friend she had aside from Dean and Padma, who both had their own lives outside of the hospital. Maybe she should just actually date him.