Kill Your Darlings

Before: Retention 6

“How hard was it to become a psychiatrist?” Spencer asks. He’s roaming around the office, pulling out random books from the shelf and skimming them as he makes his rounds.

You remain seated at the desk, fleeting through patient files. “Pretty hard,” you answer. “It’s the type of thing you get into if you really want it, you know? You wouldn’t be able to spend your life doing this if you don’t enjoy it.”

Spencer puts the book down on the coffee table and grabs another. “So you like talking to people about their crap? I mean, aren’t there other things you can do with this degree?”

“There are, but I like psychotherapy. It isn’t bad once you think about it.”

“You know what I think?” Spencer says as he sits on top of your desk, preventing you from further work. “I think all this is just a hack. You’re trying to cover up your own problems by painting them over with others. You, my friend, are a coward.”

Spencer’s face becomes dead serious as silence overlaps the office. He stares into your eyes intently, daring to disobey. When you remain silent, he smiles and leaps from the desk, picking up another book.

“Were you a good student when studying?” he asks. “Or are you one of those people who failed most of the time but still passed?”

It takes a moment to regain your senses, eyes wide in shock and bewilderment. “What? Oh, I did well. I mean, I was in law school before this—”

“Law school, for Christ’s sake?”

“—but it didn’t go that well. Besides, I enjoy being a psychiatrist much more than a lawyer. Why are you asking, anyway? Are you considering the profession?”

Spencer pauses for a moment before laughing, dropping the book on the floor. He doesn’t pick it up. “Me?” he says before letting out another short laugh. “Can you imagine? In about twenty years from now, with black-grey hair and worn out sweaters and goddamn loafers. I’ll be sitting where you are right now, pretending to care enough about the failure in the other chair while asking well, how did that make you feel? God, don’t be silly, doc.”

“I’m serious, Spencer. If you give it some thought—”

“I don’t need to think about anything. I know where I’m going.” There goes another book from the shelf. The office is becoming crowded. “How was law school, huh? Why’d you not go through with it?”

Your eyes return back to your work. “The professor and I had a fallout.”

“A fallout,” he echoes. “Is that what they call it nowadays?”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Oh, nothing important.” He’s smiling now, putting down another book on top of the lamp before he heads over to the front door. “I’ve better get going then. Don’t want to miss that bus. I’ve got my own work to take care of, you know.”

“Wait, Spencer. There are no busses running—”

But your front door slams shut, and the only thing you’re left with is eerie silence and books scattered about.

A/N: Hey guys. Sorry about the long wait for an update (don't kill me, please. I'm sorry!) I've been studying like hell for exams. I've got my last one tomorow, and I plan on finishing the next chapter when I get home and have it posted either on Thursday or Friday (I'm thinking Friday since more people have a chance to read on that day). 

I'm curious if you guys actually understand what's going on now, so I'm willing to break my own rule and hear you guys out. I want to know your theories and discuss them a little c:

Thanks for sticking around. I really appreciate it :D