Keep Bleeding Love

Chapter 12| AYA

The first ten minutes of the ride from WS were utterly silent. Then, when I realized Cid was driving far from the apartment, I got the courage to ask him.

"Where are we going, Cid?"

"There is something I need to do first, Aya. I want to make sure I do everything right."

It surprised me to see that we were approaching the entrance of the memorial park. 

What is going on?

I looked at Cid's face as he drove towards Angel's spot. I was about to say something, but Cid asked me to be quiet. Before he opened my door, he took flowers from the back of his car. I now have more questions. He guided me to Angel's tomb. I sat in the grass, and he did the same after placing the flowers on top of the stone.

"Is that the flowers I arranged this morning?"

He just smiled at me. And then he started talking.

"Hi, Baby Angel. You can call me Uncle Cid. We brought you flowers arranged by your mom. I hope you like the same as the other flowers she had arranged for you in the past weeks. I promised you she would arrange flowers for you every day. That is for you to feel how much she loves you."

I started crying. Is Cid behind the daily flower arrangement? But why? How?

"Baby Angel, I came here to ask your permission. I hope you will trust me with your mom. I want to take care of her from now on."

Cid's words shocked me. I'm sure that he saw in my face how shocked I was. He didn't give me a chance to talk. Instead, he faced me and held my hand.

"Aya, My Aya. Please believe what I said. You're the reason I came back. I tried not to, but I couldn't. I felt like I would be crazy if I won't see you again. Please..."

"This can't be Cid. You don't know me, and I know little about you. I can't!"

"Aya, I am not asking you to answer now. Please give me a chance. Please let me show you how much I care for you."

Looking into his eyes, I can see his sincerity. And I can't deny that since Marc, even just after a short period, Cid could make me open my life to him. My heart is saying yes, but my mind reminds me I should know better. 

"I still don't know, Cid. But I can feel that you are special to me."

"That will be okay with me, Aya. Just don't push me away, please."

I can't say no to him. I can't bear to say no. Maybe I am feeling something for him too, but still. 

"Please, My Aya, give me a chance. I will prove to you."

I smiled and nodded. Cid looked so happy as he held my hand. 

"Did you hear that, baby? Your mom is giving me a chance! Thanks for helping me, baby!"

We stayed for a while in the memorial park. I told Cid my story from five years ago and how Jane found me. He told me he talked to Jane while Dylan and I were having lunch. I now understood Jane's words to me in the locker and why she didn't wait for me. Cid confirmed she had asked for Jane's help. 

On our way to the apartment, I suddenly remembered the flowers.

"Cid, I am just curious. How did I end up making the flower arrangements every day? Also, my permanent assignment in the garden?"

"My Aya, don't worry about that right now. What is important is you enjoy being in the garden. But I promised you would know everything in time. Trust me!"

He walked me to the apartment door. Although I am still unsure where Cid and I are going, deep inside, my heart is telling me to give us a chance. I feel he deserves the opportunity with everything he has done for me today. Before he said goodnight, Cid kissed my forehead softly.

"Goodnight, My Aya. I will see you in the garden tomorrow."

"Goodnight, Cid. Thank you!"

***

I can't sleep. It's already 2 AM, and I am still tossing and turning in bed. So I went to the kitchen for water. While I was pouring water into a glass, a voice startled me.

"Can't sleep? I can lend ears and give some excellent advice, too," said Jane.

"I guess. I am confused, and I don't know Mama Jane." 

Jane started walking towards the living room, and I followed. She sat on the couch and motioned for me to lay my head on her lap. My sweet Mama Jane! I remembered the sleepless nights we had together since she brought me here. On the same couch, she tirelessly listened to all my heartaches. And she never failed to wipe my tears while giving me her never-ending words of encouragement and assurance. She was my voice of reason during those dark times of my life. She was that one selfless soul who carried me through my deaths, first from Marc and second in the painful loss of my baby.  

"Why are you confused, Aya?"

"I don't know." I shook my head. "Five years ago, I told myself there would be nobody after Marc, and I would allow nobody to hurt me again. I can't let my heart feel for someone again."

"Is that what your mind is saying? What about your heart? What does your heart feel, Aya?"

"I want to deny it, Mama Jane. But my heart is insistent. Cid is special. He is the first one to make me feel special. I feel his sincerity whenever he tells me he cares for me. But I am also scared."

"There will always be reasons to fear in our lives. Like there will always be challenges, too. Who knows, Cid might also hurt you. I can also hurt you, or you can also hurt Cid and me. But that is life. After everything that happened to you, Marc, and the baby, I can say that you are stronger and braver now. There is nothing you can't face and fight head-on. But chances that come our way are scarce. Not everyone gets chances in life." 

"You think Mama Jane?"

"Yes, Aya. My daughter, don't commit the same mistake I made. I let go of my second chance at love. I want you to be happy, even if that is just for a moment. If you find out that Cid is not the one, live again. You are young. Someone will surely come again. But don't let this moment pass you by. Give your heart a chance."

"Okay, Mama Jane. Thank you. I love you so much."

"I love you too, Aya. Now let us sleep. We have work tomorrow."

***