COMPLETED Remembrance of Self | Fantasy | LGBTQ

Chapter 15 - Part 5

The cold ground was humid and filled with slimy muck only Craters knew what lowly creature could secrete such substance. Haiden dimly lit the cavernous tunel with a bouncing light that stuck to the middle of the room allowing them to take a closer look to their surroundings. Now that the tension has been released, even the stuffy humid air that smelled of putrefaction felt fresh and clean. Although both of them felt light and bubble the situation did not change. They were still in mortal peril. The more Haiden thought about his future with Tasgal by his side, sharing his feelings the more he got discouraged. Outside held an empty promise of freedom while the very darkness that engulfed him felt safe from prying eyes.He knew for certain the fate that awaited them if they were to pursue their happiness. The woman in the plaza stood as a loud warning. Their lives would dangle by a thread fed by the slightest venomous whisper or spiteful rumor. Unsure of how to proceed he had fell silent, Tasgal following suit after exhausting every subject there is to talk about aside his past. He deflected question after question, answering very carefully about his Master, or Councilman Ameral, Bras' father. It was a strange position to be in. In love with a servant who belonged to the father of his enemy. An enemy that was neither weak or touchable made for a sour subject for conversation, entirely not suitable when your love had just confessed to you, but Haiden could not hold his scorn anymore.

"I'll fucking kill him." Haiden let out from time to time. Tasgal knew the person in question; Bras. The young wielder who Haiden had made an enemy of from week one. He always thought himself a fool for stepping in, but there was something inside him that did not let him look the other way. He pondered often on his actions, and most did not make sense. It wasn't that he cared, he didn't even know Maree back then, and yet he stepped in. He didn't know the woman in the plaza yet he wanted to take action. He will never truly know Mara, the one who gifted Haiden the ability of saving someone, and yet he yearned for her revenge. He never got to a reasonable answer. Just extrapolated guesses that made sense, but felt wrong. He was deprived of his past, so it was useless to even try and figure his actions out, but he tried nonetheless. His biggest mystery was his preference of the same sex. He wished he knew how it felt to grow up like a Yev'Ah. Did he had any crushes, or lovers before? Did he know more people like him? Did his parents know? And more importantly did they love or despise him for it? Those were questions that he never got to answer. He simply did not know, and there were no books in the entire library to show him the answer. He believed that's why he liked books so much, that's why it felt like he didn't read books, but they read themselves to him. Because they had answers etched into them with the knowledge of the past, forever recorded.

Tasgal laid on the floor, a shiver going through his spine as Haiden traced figure eights with his finger on the back go his hand. It was soft and gentle just like the jet black hair, now tousled, that tickled at Tasgal's face. Haiden laid with his head on the Ashen's chest sharing the heat of their bodies. Haiden could easily create a heat cloak without even batting an eye, but Tasgal came with the idea before Haiden could offer his solution to the cold draft. If he was honest with himself, he just wanted to be as close as humanly possible to Tasgal, and something that made his heart flutter with the wings of a thousand airbugs made him think that he did too.

Worms slid along the wall trying to find a patch of soft ground along with other skittling creatures that avoided the light as if it burned them. They nauseating little things, black with long antennae that probed excitedly at anything that might be sustenance. Their elongated bodies riddled with legs stickying from every which way made them an awful sight. Haiden preferred to close his eyes and just listen to Tasgal's heartbeat. Depending on how he moved or on what he did, his heartbeat would race or calm down. It was liberating to see that Tasgal reacted just like him. He traced the figure eight deliberately as he noticed when he reached a certain soft spot on Tasgal's hand, his heart flew into a frenzy. Haiden felt unstoppable and to his surprise happy. Even if he were to die in this Creators forsake maze of tunnels, at least he could say that he finally understood what happiness really was. Nevertheless, he could not let it overstage the shadow of his soul. Like Master Coner, that now nameless wielder in Haiden's memory that killed that poor woman in the plaza, even like Bras, he too was a murderer. His memories were the books that held his answers and someone had stolen them, just like he did with the Headmistress' book - probably just as easy. He thought,