One Yardigans

Chapter 1 - meeting the backyardigans

"fuck, don't do this to me, you're so tempting" Niall screamed

"Neil shut up you stupid leprosy and eat the behrgeh or I will" Louis cried, done with blondies sheet.

"It's leprechaun" Niall sniffed, finally taking a bite from the tear inducing burger, when a loud BRING BRING, BRING BRING, BRING BRING came from Louis' phone.

"It's semen, he wants to talk to us" Louis growled, like the dominant alpha he is 👹

He stood up and dragged Niall by the weave, the boy yelling when his beloved burger got left behind.

🥒

They arrived at shitmons house, and walked right in, the door having been ripped off by a feral client a few hours prior.

"Ah Lewis, Nigel, how wonderful to see " skankman spoke, Harry, Liam and zadd- Zayn, sitting in front of him.

"What is it spunk?" Louis spoke, sitting down on carpet, because why the hell not?

"Well remember we spoke before about possibly expanding the band?"

"How rude, Ive been doing a keto diet now for three weeks and had to not eat doughnuts, and you couldn't have told me before hand you want us to expand?? I've lost like one ounce, now I'm gonna have to gain that back and more" Liam cried, rocking in his chair, while harry patted his back sadly.

"Liam you ate a doughnut this morning-" Zayn muttered

"IT WAS A GLUTEN FREE SESAME BAGEL" LIAM CRIED harder

"Liam he didn't mean he wants us to get fat, he meant he wanted to add more members" Louis grimaced at the hyperventilating man

"Hehe member" harry hehed, receiving a smack from Zad- Zayn

"Anyway we have 5 new membe- band mates going to be joining you, GET IN HERE!🤡" Shittyman shouted.

The door opened and in walked five wackass bitches in animal costumes, what the frying pan was the pink one even meant to be?

"Tell me were not wearing these  (REDACTED)  costumes too" Louis sighed, climbing onto harry to get to safety.

"Ow Louis your ass is so fat it's crushing my thighs" he heard harry whine

"Oops sorry Horton"

Harry let out a sigh when Louis didn't move.

"We aren't wearing costumes you dumbass twink" Austin the purple kangaroo looking one spoke.

"Dont speak to harry like that, he hasn't even said anything to you" Louis shouted

"Louis I think he was speaking to you" Zaddy snorted

"No he wasn't im not a twink 🙄"

"Alright shut up, I'm gonna go make someone else's life a misery you can all bond together" semen spoke, and walked his nasty ass self out of the room.

"LETS GO SHOPPING" harry squealed

"Good idea, some of you in particular look like you could definitely do with some new clothes" Austin laughed.

Not even like a normal laugh, like 'HE HE HAUGNK HE HA HAUNK', so that made Louis feel a little better when he realised the kangaroo bitch was pointing at him

"There's nothing wrong with my clothes, tf? 😐"

"I mean Louis you are wearing a bright red addidas (or however tf you spell it) tracksuit" harry spoke, still being crushed by louis' fatty, although he'd decided he actually thoroughly enjoyed it.

"He looks like the woman from glee 🤭" the pink antenna wearing abomination giggled.

"FINE WERE GOING (REDACTED) SHOPPING"

"Oof hoes mad" papi Pablo sighed, and they all headed out of the house towards spunks mini van.