Is That What You Wanted? (Ao no Exorcist )

~ Chapter 9 ~ ( End )

Warning: The following chapter contains sensitive themes such as self-harm, please avoid reading if you are not feeling comfortable with it instead look at a picture of Rin being adorable :>. I'll see you at the end of the chapter, Enjoy! :>

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Rin's Pov:

Hmmm... Another day. I've lost count. They all look the same as if it was being repeated again and again nonstop. My headaches make me wanna bang my head on the desk until it stops. Yukio is busy as always doing work and teaching.

I got up from my bed and put on my school uniform. The minutes that go by repeating the day make me wanna kill myself more and more. My therapist says that I've been doing great but I guess my lies start to get better. Step by step reaching the classroom door with the silence being too loud. I sit down in my seat and the teacher enters the classroom starting their lecture. The anxiety was eating me whole by the minute, I feel like a drug addict needing its dose but instead, I need my razor, and the teacher's lecture starts to become noise in the background. My hands are scratching the wooden desk and my nails were almost bleeding and the classroom's clock is starting to get so loud by the second it turns... '' May I use the bathroom, please? '' I said on impulse without thinking '' Uh... Sure... but please don't be late '' he said and then continued with his lesson. I slowly walked out of the classroom and as soon as I had gone away from the classroom window I started running. Running towards the bathroom as if that's gonna help. I could hear my breaths getting louder and louder for no reason... I got in the bathroom and trapped myself in a stall and the thoughts started surrounding me. I can't wait any longer, it was a matter of time before I snap. All I want is to leave this world peacefully. I'm tired of being sad, tired of being even happy, I don't want to feel anything or think. But then again I don't like the idea of being numb my whole life. I just want to drift away, I don't want to exist. And with that, I stared at the stall's wall spacing out while shivering like crazy.

Yukio's Pov:
Well, I have to go on a mission today and they won't give me the day off because of the ' incident ' with Rin. I mean they got sick and tired of postponing missions because of me and truth be told they are right. I'm just scared to leave Rin alone but it had been a month since and he's indeed doing better but still... I cannot ask Mephisto or any of his classmates to sit with him,  he'll feel like he is being babysitted. I guess that was bound to happen eventually...

I reached our dorm doors and opened them just to see them empty. Has Rin not left yet? Is he in trouble or even worse is he...? Just as I was about to call him he entered the room with a warm smile.
'' Hey, Yukio. How was your day? '' he said in a calm, sweet, warm voice '' o-oh I'm fine, how about you? How was your day? '' I asked while he was putting down his school bug '' It was good thank you. I'm heading off to cook, any preferences? '' he sounds so.. peaceful. But I can't help but ask '' How come I came home before you? Did something happen? '' Rin looks at me with wonder and smiles at me warmly '' I just used the restroom before I got here. Don't worry '' Rin rolled up his long sleeves so he can really prove nothing was going on '' See?  No need to worry. The food will be ready in a bit I'll tell you '' as he said that he turned around and left the room. I guess I was wrong... Maybe I overthink this. It had been a month after all and his therapist says that he is doing a lot better.

Rin's Pov:
As soon as I closed the door, I stopped smiling and my usual emotionless face showed up. I headed to the kitchen and started cooking some curry. I love the taste of curry, it is just so tasty. The only thing I'm gonna miss from this world is food haha...

After a while the food was finally done, I put food on our plates and served it on the table. I went to the door and told Yukio to come. We started eating and now the atmosphere started to get awkward. '' How do you like it? '' I asked so I can break the ice '' It's perfect! Say Rin... '' Rin looked Yukio in his eyes '' I'll have to go on a mission today and I'll leave around 6:00. But-t please if you need ANYTHING, even if it's stupid please call me! '' Yukio said nervously. Rin looked at him and gave him a warm, once again, smile '' Haha, don't worry. I'd probably be sleeping around this time, I'm a bit tired. It's Friday after all '' Yukio still looked concerned even though Rin tried to persuade him not to '' Yukio, really it's okay don't worry, I'm fine now. You are gonna have to leave me alone eventually '' Rin said with a small laugh breaking at the end. Yukio stood up and went over to Rin's seat and hugged him tight '' I know, I just don't want you to go away like that. Don't leave me like this '' Yukio was almost on the verge of tears whereas Rin had his emotionless face again. Rin hugged him tight back and didn't answer.