𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐒 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐒 - 𝘚𝘊𝘖𝘙𝘊𝘏 𝘛𝘙𝘐𝘈𝘓𝘚

19 ~ 𝙖𝙩 𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙜 𝙡𝙖𝙨𝙩

Lottie

There are moments in life where time just stops. Where your soul seems to just leave your body, and you have no control over your actions. 

That's what happened to me when I heard those two fateful words come out of Laurence's mouth. Not Immune. Not Immune. Not Immune. Newt was not Immune.

I was up out of my seat and racing out of the tent before I knew what I was doing. The camp blurred around me as I ran, without knowing where I was running to. I found myself climbing, and then stopping at the top of an outcropping. I could see the whole camp from here, and beyond. The sun was rising in a sea of orange and yellow and pink. I was too distraught to admire its beauty. 

My world was crashing down around me. I might have blacked out for a few moments – who knew? My first distinguishable thought was "anyone but him." I realize that that's horrible; of course I wouldn't be able to cope if it was Minho, or Julian, or even Satomi. But it was Newt.

I put my head in my hands. I did not cry. My breath was still even. I stayed silent. Emptiness. That's what I felt then. It was either that, or I was too overcome with emotions I couldn't handle it. 

"Are you crying?" Came the sweet, accented voice; so calm despite the circumstances. I lifted my head to show my untainted face.

"No," I replied. "But I would if I could." Newt walked over to stand next to me, and I looked up to see his eyes. I couldn't help but wonder how much longer I would see honey there, before they turned black, like the eyes of a Crank. "Newt, I am so, so sorry-" I began, but he cut me off with a chuckle.

"There's nothing for you to be sorry for," he said. "I'm not sorry, so you shouldn't be either."

"How are you so calm about this?" I asked.

"I never got my hopes up," he replied grimly. "Besides, it's not like life's been so great anyway-"

"Don't say that!" I exclaimed. "Don't be so... so... resigned! Not when I'm like this. Not when I'm-"

"Lottie, I love you."

He said it so fast, I might gave missed it if I wasn't paying attention. But I was. And I did hear it. And something about it made me remember. 

Today was the day. The last day I would see him, for a very long time. I walked with him down to the surgery room. We all did; Thomas, Teresa, Aris, Rachel, Annabelle – though I think most of them were just there to comfort me. Newt's and my fingers were intertwined tightly, as if we were fused together into one. I wished we were; then they couldn't send him into the Maze without taking me with him. 

We stopped right outside the surgery room. They broke us apart. I don't know how; I was holding on as tightly as humanly possible. When I looked down at my now-empty hand, it was white from doing so. 

They wouldn't let me in the room with him. I was forced to watch through the window. Newt and I kept eye contact while the doctors swarmed around him, taking blood tests and samples. Then, one of them stepped forward with a syringe filled with orange liquid, and I felt like screaming. It got caught in my throat and came out as a small sob. 

The doctor injected the needle and pressed the plunger – and that was it. There was no going back. Newt would be unconscious in a matter of seconds and I would be led away, expected to go on with my life as if nothing happened. 

Newt's head lolled to the side. I could already see the fogginess of sleep in his eyes, but a bit of it seemed to clear when he saw me watching through the window.

"I love you," he mouthed clearly through the glass. He closed his eyes, shutting me out. A single tear rolled down my cheek. I knew the other five were watching me but I didn't care. I didn't brush it away.

"I love you too," I said in real time, instinctively, without having to think about it. I didn't regret it. I meant it. And if my heart was battered blue before, it was completely healed now.

Newt looked completely shocked, and very red in the face. "Y-you do?" he stuttered.

I beamed up at him. "Yes."

"But... how?" Newt asked, still stunned.

I reached for him, cupping his face in my hands. "Because you're you," I told him, smiling at his dumbfounded face. "How could I not?" He leaned forward, very slightly, and kissed me. Just a small brush of lips against mine, but it was enough. Enough for me to bring his face closer and connect our lips again; this time in a real kiss. Something like butterflies erupted in my stomach, but that was an understatement. It was more like elephants.

Newt had one hand in my hair and one on my waist. He was being so gentle – as if I would break at the slightest wrong move. But I didn't want gentle. Not now, when I was finally getting what I wanted after so long, even if I didn't realize it.

So, I took the lead, letting go of his face to wind one hand through his hair and one looped around his neck, pulling him closer. He made a small sound of surprise when I deepened the kiss, but took the hint and left his gentle demeanor behind. We let out emotions run wild; letting them take the wheel as we came together in a clash of teeth and mouths and tongues.

What shocked me most was how natural it felt. As if this is what we were meant to be. Our bodies fit perfectly into the other's like pieces of a puzzle. Wasn't it crazy how his hand rested perfectly on the back of my neck, as if it was created specifically to be there. And-

"I knew it!"

I gasped and broke the kiss, staggering away. Newt and I looked to the left where we found our entire group of friends. They all looked quite smug and triumphant, but Minho, who was at the front with his arms folded, looked exalted. "I knew it," he said again. He turned to Alex, who looked mildly uncomfortable. "You owe me fifteen bucks!" He said.

"Where am I supposed to find fifteen bucks?" Alex shot back. 

"Don't know, but you better come up with a way," Minho said cheerfully, turning back to my and Newt's burning red faces. "Finally. You guys don't know how long we've been waiting."

"You made bets?" I questioned, fanning myself so the heat would leave my cheeks.

"Sure did," said Minho proudly. "And I just won fifteen bucks." He whirled on his heel and began climbing back down the mountain. The rest followed. Brenda gave me a sly look and a wink before she turned away. Newt and I looked at each other with wide eyes, listening to our friends' argument which was growing fainter the further away they traveled. 

"What are you even going to do with fifteen bucks, Minho?"

A/N

FINALLY. Even I was getting impatient. Vote if you liked it!

- 𝐠𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐧 𝐡𝐚𝐛𝐢𝐭