He Will Never Choose You!

This morning.

I pulled myself together and returned to the bonfire, settling down in the now-deserted spot I had left just thirty minutes ago. Tamah, Diya, Ben, and Corey were dancing near some small speakers that someone had set up. I didn't feel like joining them, but I decided to take a short video and post it. I had to at least make it seem like I was having fun.

"Where have you been? I was looking for you to give you more food. I left it next to your bag, but it looks like someone already helped themselves to half of it," James said, pointing towards a plate with a half-eaten hot dog and some sad-looking nacho pieces.

"It's fine, I'm not hungry anyway, but thanks for being considerate," I replied, appreciating his thoughtfulness.

"I still have some snacks in my car. I actually bought those peanut chocolate things for our ride home later, but I can get them now if you want," James offered, a proud smile on his face. He didn't have much of a sweet tooth himself, but he always made sure to have something for us in case of a hangry emergency.

"Peanut chocolate thingies?" I chuckled. "Sounds great, thank you, Jay."

"Alright, what's wrong? You only call me Jay when something's up. Are you mad or angry? Who hurt you?" James asked, grabbing my hand. "Spill!"

I didn't want to share what had happened between Jacob and me at the shore, so I opted for the easiest way out.

"Severe case of PMS, I guess. Mood swings and all that," I replied, hoping he would buy the excuse.

"But isn't your period still almost two weeks away?"

Damn him. He was way too observant.

"Are you keeping track of my period?"

"Yes, of course. I know you don't, so I always carry around painkillers and tampons during your period week. And since all of you sync up anyway, I make sure to have everyone covered," James admitted.

I knew he did. And again, he truly was the best. No one deserved a friend like James. One day, if he decided he wanted to be, he would be the best dad and husband ever.

But he was trying so damn hard, and I didn't even know how to explain it. I would love him even without all the stuff he did for us.

"We don't deserve you, James. I swear! No one does," I said, looking down at our joined hands. I could feel myself tearing up, a mix of emotions overwhelming me.

"Vi, what's wrong?" James immediately pulled me closer to him, our faces inches apart, worry etched on his face.

Something shifted between us in that very moment.

Perhaps it was the fleeting glance he cast at my lips. Maybe it was my emotional state of mind. Or perhaps it was me finally realizing that James had feelings for me—without a doubt.

What now? I thought I had moved past my crush on him years ago.

"Peanut chocolate thingies?" That was the first thing that came to my mind.

James pulled back his head, confusion evident on his face. "You're crying over peanut chocolate thingies?"

I laughed a little, breaking the somewhat tense moment. Still, I knew something had changed. I couldn't just confront him about it. What if it ruined our friendship? It was incredibly selfish, but I couldn't bear the thought of losing James and our friendship. It was the most precious thing I had.

"Maybe? I don't know. I just don't feel like myself at the moment," I replied, trying to brush off the intensity of the moment.

"Same," he said, his gaze fixed on the bonfire.

I didn't ask what he meant by that. I was too afraid of the answer. I guess I was not only selfish but also pathetic. When did James develop feelings for me, and why had I only just figured it out?

"Well, I'll go and get you the chocolate now. Be right back," James said, breaking the silence.

"Wait, let me come. I can't bear the sight of Ben and Corey's dance battle any longer," I said, wanting to distract myself from my own swirling emotions.

Our friends were having the time of their lives, dancing wildly by the fire. And me? I was jealous that I couldn't be carefree like them. Selfish, pathetic, and jealous—I never thought this day would end like this when I woke up this morning. It was weighing me down, and I no longer understood myself.

"You'll have to stand up and follow me if you want to come," James said, already on his feet, extending his hand towards me.

I grabbed his hand, letting him pull me up. I was seconds away from asking him to let me piggyback, but after what had happened earlier, I decided against it.

"Just a second," James said, quickly walking over to our dancing friends. He exchanged a few words with them before returning to me.

"Did you ask if you should bring them some snacks too?" I asked, amused.

He smiled at me, taking my hand again as we made our way to his car, parked on the street a few minutes away from the bonfire.

"Yeah, they want chips."

"And of course, you have some in your Jeep?" I chuckled.

He laughed and shrugged his shoulders. "I kind of organized this, so I have to make sure everyone is full and happy."

Again, he was always trying so hard to please everyone.

A few minutes later, we reached the street, filled with parked cars illuminated by the streetlights on both sides. I froze.

James immediately went into action, attempting to cover my eyes with his hands, but it was too late—I had already seen it.

I saw Jacob, fucking Brianna against a car. It was all on full display—the rapid thrusting, his hand teasing her nipples. Their clothes disheveled, the passion palpable. Pink nipples. Mine were brown. Did he prefer pink? Her crop top halfway off her shoulder, his shirt nowhere in sight. Pants down to his ankles.

James still had one hand over my eyes, guiding me towards his car. They didn't even notice us. We walked like that for another minute until I heard a click and a door opening. James gently guided me into the passenger seat, closing the door. I saw him jog around the car, getting into the driver's seat and starting the engine.

We sat in silence. I guess James had decided to take me home. Thank God we didn't have to pass them again. We drove in the opposite direction to get home.

James reached for something in the back seat with one hand, dropping it onto my lap. We still hadn't exchanged a single word.

"Peanut chocolate thingies?" he said.

"Peanut chocolate thingies," I replied, my laughter mingling with my sobs.

This time, I cried for real.

When I woke up this morning, I never expected this now fucked up day to end like this. "Fucking day" summed it up perfectly.

The worst part was, deep down, I wished it had been me bent over that car.

From peppermint and coke to witnessing Jacob thrusting into Brianna, all within the span of an hour.

Yay.

________________

We were shipping James and Vi anyway, right?

Jacob Reed is not an option anymore... for now, at least ;)

xoxo
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