The Love You Give and Take

Will I Ever Have A Peaceful Night

Zara POV

While we all were gathering our bearings a lightness in the air that was unfamiliar to me filled my heart. Is this what it's like to feel safe?

"The doctor recommended you to continue physical therapy and I have looked for a doctor to come to the house to help you with that, if it is okay with you?" Sammy said breaking my internal monologue.

"Yeah that's fine." I wondered if it would be a man or woman, I'll ask later. Even though I am afraid of men, I want to learn that not all are out to get me. This is a challenge for myself, as I am trying to get better. I haven't had any cravings either, so that's good for now.

After that quick conversation, Theo started making dinner for us. I was surprised they didn't have a maid, but I guess they just enjoyed doing home chores themselves.

When he left the other boys decided to show me to my room. It was in the first floor and was easy for me to access. Going inside I swear my mouth was on the floor. The room was big, turns out it use to be Sammy's and now it's mine. I could see that access would be easy around the room. It had a black and white concept going on. With black being the focal point and white the accent color. It was truly beautiful. There was a desk where I could easily place my wheelchair. A large queen sized bed with sheets that were white, there also were doors to what I assumed was a closet and bathroom.

At this point Theo had join all of us in my room.

"Is that for me?" I asked pointing to the gift I noticed on the bed.

"Yeah we wanted to get you a welcome home gift." Ezra said.

I pushed myself to the bed, and carefully grab the bag. Inside was the newest MacBook, iPhone and iPad. Along with AirPods and a Apple Pencil. To say I was floored was an understatement.

"This is all for me. This is too much. I haven't done anything to deserve this." I said my voice sounding smaller. I haven't gotten a real gift since before mom's accident.

"You deserve all the gifts and happiness in the world. This is just a small fragment of what we want to give to you." Flynn stated, the love clear in his eyes making me shrink into myself.

"We want to take you shopping for more clothes and anything you might want later this week, if your up to it." My eldest brother states.

"Thank you so much. Why are you doing this for me?"

"We know that monetary gifts are never gonna be enough to make you trust and forgive us, but it is a start for us to build our relationship back up. We love you baby, and these gift are not even a fraction of how much we truly love you." Declan, my Bubba. I wish I could call him that to his face.

"It going to be hard to trust y'all again. I feel Ike these past few years all I have gotten was utter disappointment, but I know y'all are trying for me, and I really appreciate that. I'm gonna try for y'all because I am done living in the past, I want to live in the present, it's a gift I should take." At this point my tears were freely falling down my face.

Theo walked up to me and carefully put his hands on my face to wipe my tears

"You are our gift. We love you so much." For the first time in a long time a genuine smile appeared on my face. It was slight, but it was there.

"Are you hungry, dinner is done." Theo asked. I nodded my head, I was pretty hungry. One thing that Emma and Alexander never did was starve me. For that I was grateful. They wanted to keep that appearance up.

We all made are wave to the dinning room. Where there were plates set up around a beautiful wooden table. I sat at the head of the table as it was easier to get my chair there. Ezra and Flynn were on my left and right, Declan was beside Ezra, Theo by Flynn, and at the other end sat Sammy. A bright smile on his face.

There was an Italian pasta dish in front of me. We are not Italian, but I had come to learn during dinner that Theo enjoyed all types of cuisine.

As we finished up I could feel my eyes start to droop, I was extremely tired.

"You seem tired. One of us will help you get to bed if that okay with you." Sammy said, whilst a yawn graced my face.

"I need to take a shower first, if that's okay?" I now realized we had been side tracked and I hadn't seen my bathroom or closet.

"Absolutely. I'll help you. If you want." I nodded my head at Sammy as we made our way out of the kitchen into my room. The rest of the boys said goodnight to me, I could tell they wanted hugs, but I wasn't there yet.

We entered my room and went to the bathroom. It was gorgeous. White tiled floors, with the black and white concept flowing into there. There was a huge shower, where there was a seat, so I could sit. There was also a jacuzzi style bath tub, with a lift so I could get myself in.

"This is so beautiful, I don't know what to say."

"It's all for you, if you want anything changed we can do that." I shook my head, it was beautiful as it was.

"I just remember. I didn't really have anything to wear. All my clothes were left at my old house. And what y'all got me from when I was in the hospital is probably not clean." I grimaced thinking about Alexander's house and those dreaded days in the hospital.

"I can get you a sweatshirt and pants from Flynn since he is the smallest. I'll be right back."

He left and I started to wonder if I wanted to take a shower or bath. A bath sounds nice but I just want something quick now. I also noticed I could just roll my chair into the shower and transfer myself to the bench.

Sammy came back with some of Flynn clothes. I had a few pairs of undergarments with me as they were gracious enough to get me some whilst in the hospital. It was an awkward conversation, but I needed them and was extremely grateful I didn't have to keep on the same ones.

"Do you need any help getting in."

"No, I can do it thank you." I wanted to test to see if I could do it for myself and not have to rely on them for help. He exited the bathroom and I pushed my self into the shower. It was difficult at first. I had to use a lot of arm strength to hoist my self off the chair and into the bench, but I did it. I was proud of myself.

There was easy access to the soaps and hair products. So I quickly cleaned myself off and washed my black hair. I hoisted myself back into to my chair after drying off. The towel was in reaching distance.

Once in my chair, I easily put my clothes on. Thankful I could still do that by myself as well as taking a shower. I pushed open my door and went into my room. Sammy had asked me to call him in once I was done just to make sure everything was okay. I yelled his name and he came rushing in.

"Is everything okay? Are you hurt?" I shook my head exhausted from the extreme work out I had just done.

"I'll help you into your bed." I nodded and allowed him to pick me up. I was tense, but other wise calm. It was weird.

He laid me into the bed and sat at the end for just a moment after covering me up.

"I know we keep saying this, and we'll probably never stop, but we are so happy your home. The boys and I will never let you down like that again. I love you, baby." The unstoppable tears make there way down my face as my eldest brother slowly wipes them off. He looks hesitant, but leans down and places a soft kiss on my forehead. I can feel that he loves me, it's just so hard to trust.

He exits my room and I find myself slowing falling into a deep slumber. I hope that this would be the night that my dreams wouldn't haunt me, but I was so wrong. The nightmares that haunt me slowly seep back into my brain. Will I ever have a peaceful night?

Hi Butterflies 🦋
I hope your enjoying the book. My work schedule has changed so updates will be a little slow. I also have summer classes coming up, but I will try my best to update as much as possible.

Who's your favorite brother?

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Love ya 💙

Bella 💙