Tied In

Chapter 1 Untied

"Zane— did you take something? Your fucking scaring me are you okay..!?," I briskly say, I clasp onto his arms looking into his eyes as he's dazed out. He stumbled while having difficulty keeping his balance on Post Alley street, which is paved with bricks—a fall backwards on this was destined to give him a grade 3 concussion. Just as I understood—once again, people's problems had a propensity to fall into my circumference ever since I've resided in Seattle, Washington. I guide him down to the floor— dragging him up against the wall and pacing around. "Someone help! Call 9-11! Someone please!," wiping my teary eyes while looking around the silent night, now he had been wholly sparked out.

***

My Independence started prematurely compared to  others in life, it all commenced once my eyes broadened and I had the ability to speak and had my own notions. Trust, persuaded that I had this in my atmosphere for a long time and I did. Well.

Bumping into recognition, I woke and realized the close ones I would let hold my whole life in their palms were deceivers who've hid the truth from me continuously throughout my adolescence to adultery. Standing today, I'm no longer naive nor credulous but now assertive and vigilant.

The final stroke , final breaking point and harsh set off that led to my isolation had to be the disappearance of my father, which occurred on Friday June 15th 2018. Just 2 years ago since last time I seen him, not to mention not 1 missing report got filed. An inkling instinct tells me he's alive or worst he's dead and I'm out of my mind just as my mother tells me.

Withal, they say my father was a man reentering his past and the late nights out led up to his lasting absence. Fathoming this hard acceptance has conducted me to realize dead or not I must move forward, despite the vast water I'm submerged beneath. Metaphorically, not just roaming the midsts of the sea but beneath the oceans sea bed which I'm buried...

Recently my life has been calamitous and in a disastrous condition. Distancing has allowed me to apprehend the honest truth—I rather actually be confined by myself then feel disconnected with society around me.

Talking hadn't felt natural to me like it once did before, my anxiety began a few months back after I cut off all socialization even with my best-friend. I was quiet, yet crying for help to be seen by somebody. Lengthy weeks turned into a few months and it got distressful than ever.

Night terrors set in motion, which made me to resent getting any sleep due to my crippling fear of sleep paralysis. Eye bags from sleepless nights and painful blistered nail beds that were hidden under my fathers jacket that I wore religiously.

In the midst of it all, I still pulled off a 3.8 gpa and finished writing 3 novels. Just Shortly, I had lost my voice from lack of usage—so horrific that I had voice hoarseness and assuming vocal cord damage; That's what led to me getting noticed.

The individual who reached there hand in the water and pulled me out from sinking In the titanic all alone. Dark ash brown hair, short beach waves that fall just a tad over his ears; an undercut; Skin of an seraph being, along with a slight bronzed tan that made him glisten in any form of light.

Full luscious lips that once licked, it was destined to bring slight more attention to. His organ of sight, eyes of a messenger from god. Amber brown, and the first time I looked into them, I had a deeper knowing that he was to be trusted. Name is Alex, Alex Owens.

I was informed  to "Never block your blessings." In this scenario I tried, I genuinely held back the thought of being with him. Logistically, getting to the point— my now ex best friend dated him for a year. Growing up together left us tied in shackles which held us back from venturing outward.

Ever since I could remember she wouldn't let me be my own person, it was always what she longed for. Her eyes were on boys and popularity since the first grade and me being an outcast put me on the side lines. Shaming me for being a shy loner and for keeping my head in books or for having different interests is all she did. Hoping one day I'd be just like her because she was embarrassed of being best friends with the real me, Kiera Pearson.

The civilians around caused me to question my innermost self besides only one. A sense of serenity enters my vessel when I'm in Alex's presence, I no longer feel repentant for not faking a smile in sake of others. Its genuine. A bliss feeling started to come back around me and if it hadn't been for me meeting him I probably wouldn't be here today.

Contention between me and Sarah spiraled now that she found out Alex and I were no longer associates but something more. Realization sparked in her once she seen I had an authentic smile and I was no longer trapped in a depressive state.

Hottest topic in her mouth for a week was my name, she gossiped to my own mother about me, wrote crude messages to me in the bathroom stalls and worst posted revealing photos of me online for the whole school district to see. Laughing in my face—all while I sat in stillness and composed myself because it's what I do, not saying I won't get my retaliation.

Playing victim to make me feel guilt ridden for her, while she claimed I've always been a "Substandard  friend for dating her ex." How I've, "Never been there for her because I was too self centered",practically invalidating my feelings to vouch for hers, when everything Is all said and done she's just a parvenu. Meaning that she's a well off citizen and would catch an attitude if they didn't have the flavor she wished for at an ice cream shop. Sherbet.

Nevertheless, I deserve satisfaction within and I won't let small trivialities hamper what I ought for in life regardless if it sounds egocentric. Harmony doesn't fall into my hands on an occasion so I must utilize my opportunity's every chance that swoops by.

For instance, when Zane approached me at school to hold his stash of drugs on me for a week and gave me $450. Zane Dawson, also known as Sarah's new boyfriend who she's highly crazy for. In the sake of my own relationship—I won't go around talking about how her boyfriend is trying to get at me. Which he is. This guy has been texting me incessantly, how did he get my phone number? Then it clicked— he got it through Sarah's phone.

Contemplating still if I should continue to help him stow away illegal substances—-like he's been bribing, begging and non stop requesting me to do for him. Why me? With all his friends and a girlfriend it seems quite eccentric to be the first person to get asked. Possibly a set up, attempt to frame me or worst
he has an obsession toward me?

A Psychedelic drug business is nothing Id see myself embarking on in this point of my life. Senior year of high school. Although In desperation, I may text him back depending upon if I need the money or not. Perhaps— if I did associate with such a person I'd do it on the low. That's an If.

My father makes an appearance in my night mares here and there, causing me to ruminate on rather their signs or delusions. Didn't have the audacity to speak about them to my own family because I'd seem like a joy killer resurfacing the past...while they've moved on somehow so soon.

Chiefly my mother, can't open up to her much and she's forever been mistrustful—but this time it was quite more constructive. Suddenly, she started leaving the house at the same hours my father once did. Not only that, men spazzed up in suits enter the house around the clock, which led me to believe she knew something that I had not. Even took the time to sound proof the walls in her bedroom and get a biometric lock on the door. Causing me to ponder some. All day  actually.

Most people fear adulthood but I've been longing for this moment my whole life. As I sat through my graduation ceremony, I couldn't help but feel a sense of relief that my time at school was finally over; but with that relief came a sense of a profound feeling of fret. I was growing up, and my whole future was standing in-front of me.

I've been pouring my heart and soul into my writing, hoping that shortly it will pay off and live my dreams out in Vancouver Canada. But as these last few days passed, I began to realize that the world was a much bigger, competitive and scarier place than I had initially thought; Bumping into a set of conditions.