rematch | ishman

CH: 19

Shubman was pathetically bored. No, that did not have anything to do with the lack of Ishan's attention he was getting at the moment.

Ishan, who was dancing with Aditi, nervously tucked his hand around her waist as they both shyly glanced around. Shubman rolled his eyes at the sight. At this point, Ishan had gone further with Shubman than he had with his girlfriend.

You see, Shubman didn't mind his best friend getting some. He just had a distaste for having to watch it play out right in front of him. His grip on his glass grew tighter as he swallowed an ugly feeling. Whether Ishan loved her or not didn't matter; when he was in the room, Shubman wanted Ishan's eyes on him alone. He demanded every ounce of Ishan’s attention like a rotten dog, baring his teeth in open defiance.

Ishan flashed him a small smile when their eyes met across the dance floor. Shubman took an angry swig of his drink, scoffing to himself. What was he smiling about? What was there to smile about when he could love a girl at his disposal, but Shubman couldn't? Not a girl, never a boy. No one.

There were times when Shubman felt like he wasn't built to survive any human relationship. The very notion of him feeling like he had to survive within one was the reason. Maybe that's why he denied any feelings that rose like bile in his throat. If he were ever to love someone, he would love like a beast, like a monster, like something not worth loving back.

So he searched, his eyes flickering under the neon lights, for someone who would see him for the monster he was. He smirked when he caught a guy staring at him, unashamedly so. How convenient. Shubman strode up to him, giving the other a chance to step back. He didn't.

"Wanna take a breather?" Shubman asked with a grin, gesturing vaguely towards the restroom.

The guy, probably younger than him, nodded hesitantly. It was easy to communicate when you both came from the same rot. Shubman glanced at Ishan over his shoulder as they made their way. Ishan's eyes held a confused glint, watching them intently. The satisfaction was small but tangible.

They weren't here for small talk, and they both knew it. So, the kissing was more like an attack, a primal instinct taking over. Shubman wasn't sure if he even properly saw the boy's face under the dim lights. But it didn't matter. All he cared about was the heat of the moment, the messy collision of teeth and tongue mixed with the alcohol enough to drive Shubman back into his narcissism, where he held the power.

Shubman closed his eyes, realising the sensation of lips and teeth on his neck. He tilted his head back, giving the boy better access. “Don’t leave marks,” he muttered.

The boy nodded, peppering kisses instead. Shubman gripped his hair, tugging it slightly to bring him down. “I didn't ask you to be gentle,” he grunted.

The boy nodded once again, his fingers hovering over Shubman’s waistband when the loud creak of the door startled him. Shubman didn't open his eyes, even when he felt the other boy scramble to his feet and hurry out of the restroom.

He imagined the expression on Ishan’s face. Would he be angry? Hurt? Betrayed?

“Took you long enough, Ish.”

He knew he was right when he finally opened his eyes. The only mistake— it wasn't Ishan.

Shubman’s heart dropped, and he could barely whisper, “Abhi?”

"What were you doing, Shubman?" Abhishek's voice sounded cold, breaking the heavy silence between them.

“I can explain,” Shubman managed, feeling his throat go dry.