❝Hello there, this is Teen Confessions Helpline, what's the problem? Feel free to confess anything you like and we'll be there to help you every step of the way!❞
❝I know this is heavy but I've been feeling like I kind of...want to kill my...
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"Hey, Mr Fanceh!"
"You know I need to come up with an effective nickname for you...Goddamnit, there's nothing particularly good enough to make fun of 'Eva'.
"HAHAHAHA. You could try but it'll never work."
"I'll never give up."
"Says the person who slams the phone down the instance they hear 'bulge' within three sentences in a slash Drarry fanfiction."
"It was UNCOMFORTABLE, OKAY? I'M NOT COMFORTABLE WITH IT. I WANTED TO FEEL SECURE WITH MY MANLY SEXUALITY."
"Oh please! Guys who read slash fanfiction without being uncomfortable are totally more secure with their heterosexuality. It means that even when reading all that beautiful gayness, they're still one hundred percent straight."
"I am secure with my heterosexuality...I'm just not comfortable with the level of sexual imagination, avidly expressed on the phone by a teen helpline operator who is also my best friend."
"Oh my God, what are you? Me on my period?"
"No, I'm not! I'm a guy! A perfectly straight guy! I'm as straight as a ruler! You want me to come over and prove it to you?"
"Um...well..."
"That got awkward fast."
"Yeah...I'll, uh, leave now."
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A/N: ;) ;) if you know what I mean. hur hur. i'm hilarious. lol, i'm not. anyway, please vote and comment! also be sure to look at my other works if you can! <3
![Teen Helpline [#1 of the Helpline Trilogy]](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/43211519-64-k433491.jpg)