Writing and Grammar

Dialogue

For dialogue, seeing examples of correct and incorrect usage can be helpful in identifying mistakes in your writing (if there are any).

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INCORRECT: "Can you fetch me a cake?" He asked.

CORRECT: "Can you fetch me a cake?" he asked.

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INCORRECT: "My farts smell like roses." Amy says.

CORRECT: "My farts smell like roses," Amy says.

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INCORRECT: He said. "Coffee is a bitter beverage."

CORRECT: He said, "Coffee is a bitter beverage."

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INCORRECT: "Carrie," Tim said. "He wants you dead."

CORRECT: "Carrie," Tim said, "he wants you dead."

Another example . . .

INCORRECT: "You've got to know." She says, "that the Boogie Man is after me."

CORRECT: "You've got to know," she says, "that the Boogie Man is after me."

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INCORRECT: Miranda told Leslie, "Tiffany said I don't want Leslie to know I kissed her boyfriend."

CORRECT: Miranda told Leslie, "Tiffany said, 'I don't want Leslie to know I kissed her boyfriend.'"

If any character directly quotes another character, make sure you use the single quotes inside the double quotes. Also, I think Tiffany is going to get her arse kicked.

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Whenever you have a character being cut off by another character, use an em dash.

INCORRECT: "You can't take my sister from."

"Your sister committed treason," he calmly replies.

CORRECT: "You can't take my sister from—"

"Your sister committed treason," he calmly replies.

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Also, only include dialogue if it develops characters, escalates conflict, or creates tension. This way, you'll leave out the extra dialogue that's much like the "real world" dialogue you hear throughout the day. Most published stories don't include small talk, so try leaving this out because it will bore readers.

Dialogue is one of the trickiest elements in writing a story. A writer's dialogue can appear forced and unnatural, too similar to the "real world," or just annoying. (When I started writing, I had all of these problems). Developing the skill of writing good dialogue takes time, and I'd highly recommend reading traditionally published books and studying the dialogue in those stories. The more you focus on how other authors write dialogue, the easier it will be to write it.

Side note: using exclamation points every time a character yells or speaks loudly tends to become annoying. I usually stop reading the moment I spot this.