It's Not Perfect

Chapter 16

Ryder and I jumped apart, my cheeks blushing beyond description.

"What's going on here?" Chase questioned, his eyes wider than I had ever seen. He stood awkwardly in the doorway, one hand holding the door knob while the other hand held extra blankets. He looked back and forth between Ryder and I, his face overcome with bewilderment. And I didn't blame him.

"Nothing." Ryder stated flatly, almost angrily. Was he mad that Chase had walked in on us? I wasn't mad but I was definitely disappointed, "What do you want Chase?"

"I was just bringing you some extra blankets. I know how cold it gets in this house without electricity for heating and what not." Chase nodded then winked at us, "But I can see you guys have other plans on how to keep warm tonight."

And just like that, my entire face flared with heat. I literally couldn't meet either of the boys eyes so I just stared at the floor, entirely embarrassed. Chase had a good point. What would we have done once we kissed? Would we move one step farther than that? What could I have possibly been thinking, this was a bad idea from the very start. Ryder was a bad boy, a dangerous guy that would break my heart as easily as breaking his opponents face. I couldn't let my guard down around him. Especially now that Duke was roaming free. If Duke thought Ryder and I were together, chaos would break out and my world would come crashing down around me. I couldn't allow that to happen.

Absentmindedly, I stepped away from Ryder, sliding closer to the wall until I was almost leaning against it. Ryder noticed, his eyes sweeping over me as though he didn't entirely understand. Then his face fell in realization and he too stepped sideways.

"Thanks Chase." Ryder mumbled, then took the blankets from him and set them on the bed. But afterwards no one moved. I sure as hell wasn't going anywhere, but Chase didn't leave either. He stood at the edge of the bed, arms crossed, a small smirk flashing across his face. When we realized Chase wasn't going to leave, Ryder sighed and stepped towards him again, "What are you doing?"

Chase shrugged his eyes roaming over to meet mine, "Just making sure everything in this room stays PG-13, my friend."

Ryder gritted his teeth, "That will be all Chase. You're dismissed."

Now Chase shot Ryder a deathly glare but it was small in comparison to the one Ryder was already giving Chase. The two boys seemed like they almost might fight it out right here in this room even though they were best friends. And I somehow felt like it was my fault. I felt like a lot of things were my fault as of late. Ryder having to drag me along to every fight, Ryder having to take the punches for me to keep me safe, Ryder doing this and Ryder doing that. It seemed like Ryder was taking the fall for almost everything that happened to me, and it was all my fault.

Eventually Chase nodded, submitting to Ryder's orders. He threw me one last uncertain glance, then turned and left the room. Quietly shutting the door behind him.

Once Chase was gone Ryder turned to look at me but my gaze was still focused on the ground. The moment had passed and I could think clearly again, I couldn't kiss Ryder no matter how much I wanted to. If Chase hadn't walked in I probably would have kissed Ryder, I probably would have done whatever he asked me to do. And that was dangerous. For both of us.

"I'm sorry about that." Ryder stepped back towards me when I wouldn't meet his eyes.

My shoulders shrugged on their own accord and I felt myself step away, "It's alright. But we should probably go to bed."

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Ryder's body tense. His fists clenched and his jaw locked, then he replied through clenched teeth, "Fine. Great idea. I'll go sleep on the couch."