2 A.M. Silence | ✓

13 | it all meant nothing

I can make the pain better,
all I need is one more day with her

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HER BODY WAS ON FIRE, shaking as she stumbled into his ocean arms. He held her tightly, a hand softly stroking her back as he whispered sweet nothings to her.

At this point, nothing he said would matter. All she could do was stare into his blue eyes to calm the screeching in her mind.

"Diana," he was saying, repeatedly. She ignored him, frantically gripping his shoulders and clawing at his arms.

The monsters were still yelling. WHY WERE THEY STILL YELLING?

She sobbed loudly, and screamed, "Just shut up!"

But of course, no monster would listen to another, and they only laughed manically at her, shrieking louder.

"It's going to be okay," he whispered over and over.

Okay? Kienna had promised her long ago it would be okay, but here she was, blood staining her hands so deeply she barely recognized herself. Here she was, listening to Luke tell her it would be okay, not even noticing the madness that burned in her eyes. Okay was just as big a lie as love. She had never been okay.

And she never had a choice. Kienna had lied, just as her parents had lied to each other, just as Luke was lying to her now.

Diana's entire world began to crash down, the pounding in her head barely able to keep her standing straight. She backed away, wildly twisting and turning in the middle of the street, her arms reaching out for something, anything that could silence her brain.

But when the sound of sirens reached her ears and increased the noise tenfold, Diana knew it was over. She scratched at her own skin, wishing the pain could just take over her.

She sobbed for her broken self, for her mother, for her father, for the psychotic version of herself she didn't even know.

"Diana Walker, you are under arrest for the murder of Katherine Walker and Madison Knightley," a cop called out behind her. Four squad cars had circled them, the flashing red and blue lights blinding her vision and warping the world around her.

I didn't do it I didn't do it I didn't do it.

She squeezed her eyes shut.

I didn't mean to do it.

She spun around wildly, seeking an end to the red and blue lightning. It was all just too loud. When her eyes landed on Luke, her entire body twisted. The little organ in her chest beat uncontrollably, yearning to reach out for him.

She closed the distance between them, desperately holding his face between her shaking hands. Suddenly, she was drowning in the things she never told him. Breathless and frightened, all she could manage was, "I'm sorry, Luke."

He was looking at her, his blue eyes filled with disbelief. The look he gave her was enough to shatter her, or at least what was left of her. It was a look that broke all the unspoken promises they had exchanged, a look that fueled the screeching voices in her head he had once silenced.

It was a look that reminded her she was completely, utterly, and crushingly alone. "I guess forever doesn't last," she whispered, her shaking hand falling from his cheek. She had been foolish to think that they could become something.

Luke's soft eyes held a pain that was dying to get out. He wanted to yell at her; he wanted to cry for her; he wanted to run away with her. The flashing lights heightened the conflict in his mind as he stood there helplessly, heart bleeding on his sleeve.

He didn't understand. His emotions flickered from betrayal, to hurt, to complete and utterly damned indifference. He was torn but all he knew was that he just wanted to hold her again, no matter how bloodied her hands were, no matter how empty her soul was. So he opened his mouth to say something, the thing he hoped could save her, the only thing he knew despite all that had happened.

"Don't," Diana snarled, cutting him off. "Don't say it." Because after all this time, she still didn't believe in it.

He noticed her eyes, like a switch, had turned dark and consumed by a hatred and insanity so intense he had to look away before it broke his heart. Just like that, she had become someone entirely different.

She backed away from him, and although they were only a few feet apart, he felt like she was an ocean away. How did she go adrift?

He watched them cuff her, angered by the green eyes that still held him captive. He watched them push her into the cop car, angered by the harsh way they touched her. He watched them drive her away, angered when he no longer felt her presence.

And long after she was gone, when he stood alone on the quiet, deserted road, he said it anyway. He said it for the girl who fell apart right under his nose, the girl whose pain drove her to madness, the girl who he realized he didn't know at all.

He said it anyways, and it echoed into the empty streets, vanishing into the air like it meant nothing.

I love you.

THE END

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