dead poets society one-shots

todd anderson

requested by: deadpoetTA ty so much <3

you watched todd run away from you and the boys with pain, your heart aching like never before, it was unbearable.

neil is dead. really dead. it was the worst news you have ever received, you were the first one to hear about it, a call coming from your uncle, neil's father, only a few minutes later. you rushed up to their house, not exactly knowing what to expect.

you remember neil as a very extrovert boy, since the first time you two met with 4 years old each, you didn't have contact before because you lived in a different part of the country. you were very impressed with your cousin, he was so energetic and were always being called out by his parents, such energy also intimidated you but the little boy was nothing but extremely nice to you, showing you his cars collection and playing with you, not caring if you were a girl or not, he also took you to the backyard and helped you to climb your first tree ever, you fell and scratched your knee but both of you only laughed and tried again.

you two became inseparable since that day, always at each other's house, having the same music taste, reading the same books, sneaking out to do the most random things in the world, it went from getting a slushie to break into someone's pool at midnight. you two smoke your first joint together and what a memorable night it was. you ranted to each other, and confessed too. it was a crazy and pure bond, you saw neil not like your cousin but like your brother. you couldn't remember a time of your life where neil wasn't by your side, but you needed to deal with it now. it was so unfair. neil being the so charismatic, talented, and supportive boy he was, why this happened?

and seeing todd, the boy you got a crush and massive appreciation for that hurt, that was it, your limit. 
you sobbed out loud, grabbing the attention of the others boys and turned your back, wishing only to go to your room, not sure if you would get there because you truly couldn't see anything because of the increasing tears, you heard charlie calling your name but kept walking, your heart feeling like it wanted to die and your head spinning, this must be a nightmare, you thought and sobbed even more.

neil, you would never, ever, see him again, never. you wouldn't see his smile anymore, nor hear his laugh, deal with his dorky personality, hug his tall and skinny body, play with his hair, try his glasses on. never again. he would never pick you up at your room for breakfast again, or tease you about your crushes. never. it's not right, why people leave suddenly? you would never know if neil had any acknowledge about how much he meant to you. you didn't even know if when we die we go to some other place where we can meet our beloved ones again or not. neil was gone for real, and soon would only be a stardust. 
somehow, you get to your room and throwing yourself at your bed, you continued to cry until you fell asleep.

it was about 2 am when you opened your eyes again, you were confused at first, looking the widow with a dark sky, soon enough all the pain hit you again, real-life, neil is dead. your start to feel sick, your stomach to feel funny and your chest heavy. at least, when you slept you were unconscious and clueless to all of this, your confusion grew as you noticed what had waked you up; someone was knocking at your door. you stayed quiet, not feeling like talking with someone right now, but when todd's shy voice called your name you got up so quickly that you fell back at your bed, feeling extremely dizzy, but you got up even faster than the first time and opened the door desperately.

"todd!" you exclaimed breathless staring into his green eyes, now visibly red, as his nose too. he was only wearing his pajamas and tried to curl his lips to smile, failing.

"i-i-i" todd stuttered before breaking down in tears, his hand covering his face.

you gulped, your mouth suddenly getting dry, you were shocked, feeling like you couldn't move. what should you do? you were a mess yourself, so, how do you comfort todd? 
then you did the first thing you could think of, you hugged him. todd surprised you when he hugged you back, you were expecting no reaction from the boy and you were even more surprised when he grew his hold, almost crushing you, not that you cared. you closed your eyes, enjoying  the sensation of hugging him, you almost purred feeling at ease for the first time since it happened, you intensified the hug, trying to show him all of your affection through it, todd's tears soaked your shoulders and your hands went to his hair and started to gently caress it. you could not help but noticed the sweet but fresh scent that came out of todd.