White As A Lie

15: Fallout

I buried the knife and gun in my backyard, then walked slowly inside my house and stood there for a good minute.

Then I lost it.

I grabbed whatever was closest, which was a lamp, ripped it out of the wall and threw it across the room. It exploded as it hit the wall. Next I grabbed a vase, then a picture, and finally my phone, and sent them all in different directions. Something must have ignited a spark because soon the microwave was on fire. Instead of rushing to put it out, I slumped to the floor and watched it burn.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

I sat there until the smoke alarm went off and the fire started to burn the wall behind the microwave. That's when I put it out by filling multiple glasses with water and dumping it on the flames. It took several tries, but I finally put it out.

The fire damaged everything in that little corner of the kitchen, but it's not like I could pay to get it fixed anyway.

What did I do? I freaked. I freaked because he knew I was the robber. I freaked because I thought I was going to jail. I freaked because he was right.

I am a murderer.

If they clear my name of my wife's murder, it won't matter. Now I have this murder hanging over my head.

My God, what if Crystal finds out it was me? Will she suspect me? I feel awful... I don't know what to do.

I walked over to the drawer of silverware and grabbed a steak knife. I glanced at my arm, then slashed.

My blood was still white.

Jesus, it should've been a little darker from the robbery alone, but murder should make it black as the night.

"What the hell?" I whispered as the white blood ran from the wound and dropped onto floor. No matter what I did, my blood would stay white...

***
The following Sunday, March 29th, was Alton's funeral. I got the information for it on the Wednesday before. I was even more at war with myself this time than I was about going to their wedding.

I decided to go, but stay in the back. When the service was over, I remained standing in my lonely spot in the grass far away from everyone else. Until Crystal came up to me.

She had on a black dress with a small black hat with one of those small black veils covering her face. Her eyes were red and wet, but she smiled softly at me. "You came."

I swallowed hard and didn't say anything.

She took a deep breath. "It's a beautiful day. He would've loved it."

I nodded and looked up at the big blue sky above. "I'm so sorry." I meant it as both "for your loss" and "for killing him".

She smiled again. "Thank you."

I walked very slowly forward to where Alton was buried. "Did the policemen give him a send off?" I asked.

"Yes. They came before everyone got here."

Once I saw the new, shiny tombstone I wanted to throw up.

Alton O'Quinn
Loving husband and son

1995-2020

"Nicole is near him." Crystal said, and I looked up at her. She smiled sweetly. "She's right over here."

I followed her to the row just ahead of Alton and looked where she was standing.

Nicole Shaw-McCain
Loving wife and daughter
1995-2020

I realized this is the first time I ever saw her tombstone. They didn't have it ready yet at her funeral.

I continued to stare, barely noticing Crystal as she slipped away to presumably stare at Alton's tombstone.

I was left alone with my thoughts, which was very dangerous nowadays. I took from Crystal what Nicole's killer took from me. Now Crystal knew what it felt like...

Crystal wanted to have kids with Alton. Now she never will.

Just like I'll never have kids with Nicole.

A horrible thought flashed through my head.

God, what if Crystal's pregnant? What a scary coincidence would that be! One child taken from a man, another the man taken from the child.

I turned back to Crystal. "Do you have any idea what happened?" I asked, fearing she truly did have an idea.

She shook her head. "No. The only thing we know is that he was stabbed with a knife. In almost the exact same spot as..." Crystal trailed off.

...as Nicole.

"I'm sorry." She said.

"A-are you saying it could be the same person?" I asked.

"I don't know what I'm saying."

I nodded. "I know how that feels." What happened to this year? Wasn't this supposed to be great? A new Roaring 20s, but it's starting out the way the 1920s ended.

Horrible.

And it's just the third month of the entire decade.

"For three days, I was truly Mrs. O'Quinn." Crystal said, breaking into my thoughts. "I'll keep the last name. I still am an O'Quinn." She sighed. "I think I'll go home now." She looked over at me. "Thank you for coming."

"Of course." I said and watched her leave. I walked back over to Alton's grave. "I'm sorry, Alton." I breathed. "I never meant...I didn't mean..."

But I did mean to. In the moment, I wasn't thinking about anything or anyone other than myself. I wasn't going to jail. I needed to stop him from spilling the beans somehow, so I-

For a split second, I thought I saw the earth move in front of me. Horror sprang into my mind as I fell back and stumbled away. When I looked back, I saw a beetle come out from under the ground.

Oh. Nolan, you're being ridiculous. You're just paranoid. It's just some Tell-Tale Heart shit happening.

I stood up and swiped the dirt off my nice clothes. I took one more glance at the grave behind me, then I got into my car and drove off just as storm clouds were beginning to pile up in the West.