The Goodbye Note

Chapter 11

For this chapter I recommend the song Rainbow by Kacey Musgraves.

***

When I wake up the next morning everything that happened yesterday, at the party, feels like a dream. I forgot that it all happened, but only for a second. Once I do realize that yesterday wasn't a dream I fell miserable. I force myself out of bed and into the shower. Once I am showered I get dressed and start to head down stairs. There is a note on the counter which reads:

My Dearest Emily,

Your father and I had to make a last minute trip. We should be back by tomorrow afternoon, I left the note so I wouldn't have to wake you up, there is some frozen lasagna in the freezer which you can have for dinner tonight, but in case you don't want lasagna, I left $20 in the cookie jar for take-out. I love you and I apologize for this last minute trip. See you soon!

Love, mom.

I'm not sure why she didn't just text that to me, but then again my mom has always been old-fashioned. I honestly think that at times like these, when I'm home alone, is when I miss Emma most.

I decide that today I'm just going to look for homecoming dresses, online. And I'm going to look by myself because I'm not in the mood for Mackenzie and her apologies. I go back upstairs and grab my laptop from my desk and lay down on my bed. I open up multiple websites, and start the search for my homecoming dress. Homecoming is about two weeks away so I need to get my dress, and I need to do it quickly.

After hours of looking I decide that this is pointless, there's no way that I'm going to be able to find a dress in time. I get up from my bed and close my laptop, I grab my phone and check my social media, zero new notifications. Wow, literally the story of my life. I end up grabbing my car keys and I drive over to Stars Coffee Shop.

Unfortunately, Dean isn't working today. Fortunately, Dean isn't working today. After last night I would be too embarrassed to have a conversation with him. I order my usual iced coffee and end up sitting on the beach until the sun is down. Once I realize how late it is I think that maybe I could just grab some fast food from my favorite dinner. I drive to the diner and I grab a table and wait. A perky brunette walks over to me and the table. She's new. She didn't work here when Emma and I came here every Friday after school.

"Hi, baby doll what can I get you?" She asks me with a big smile on her face, I want to return a smile, I really do, but I just can't. There is nothing exciting or happy about today. Absolutely nothing.

"Do you have iced coffee here?" She shakes her head, "Okay then could I please get a coke?" If there's no iced coffee then coke tends to be my next go-to.

"Of course, sweetheart." She says as she starts walking away. I made sure not to sit in the booth that me and Emma used to always sit at. But that doesn't stop my memories to remind me that she's not here, and I won't be able to add any memories with her.  I wait and wait and then before she comes back Dan walks up to me and sits across from me.

He smiles then frowns, "What's wrong? You look sad, oh is this the thing Mack told me to not to ask anything about? Em?" He grabs my hand and I pull it away slowly.

"Yes, it is the thing she told you to leave alone about, so why don't you just leave it alone. I'm fine, I'm just tired, I didn't sleep well." I snap.

"Did you know that one of the most lies ever told are the words 'I'm fine', which means you are not fine. You're lying and you don't look like you didn't sleep well, you look like you've been crying," he says as he flicks his black hair out of his eyes.

I roll my eyes, "I'm not in the mood to talk. I'm tired of talking and I'm tired of everyone and how they think it's just so easy to move on! It's ridiculous! I'm like the only person who even cares that Emma died! She died Dan! She's not coming back, ever! Because that's what happens when you're dead. But all of you already replaced her, and I keep asking myself why it was so easy for all of you to move on, I can't move on. I can't replace her, because she is irreplaceable! I'm just sick and tired of all of you, it's like you forgot about Emma! She's dead, but she still existed, she was alive and now she's not! But I feel like you all lost your memories of her, you guys pretend like she didn't exist, that she didn't live."

"My father killed her." He says while looking down at his hands.

My heart sinks, "What?"

"Emma, my father was the one who killed her. He was driving while he was on his phone. He was somehow fine after the crash. He's in jail now, but he's the one who did it. I'm sorry Emily, I didn't know until last week."

I grab my mouth and clutch my stomach, "Oh my God. Oh my God. How is this possible. How is this- no that can't be true." His father was in jail for dealing drugs, he never told us that he was out. Dan walks to me and tries to hug me but I duck. "Is this some kind of sick joke, because Daniel this is not funny."

"It's not a joke. I'm sorry Emily and it's okay if you never want to talk to me again. I mean it's not okay because I'll feel like shit without you, but it will be okay, eventually." He tells me. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I just thought that if I pretended that everything was okay then eventually everything would be okay." I walk away from him and get in my car. I start the car and drive away. There's no one that I can talk to about this. I'm mad at Mackenzie and Xander, and Dan's dad is literally the person that I want to talk about, so that wouldn't work. If I had any problems I would talk to Emma, but Dan's dad took that option away from me.

I know that this isn't Dan's fault, but now every time that I look at him or think about him, I see his father, which makes me see Emma, then I'm sad. Then mad.

***

Did you actually think that Dean's dad was the one who killed Emma? My goal is to have all these twist and turns that you would, hopefully, never expect. But I'm also sad because I don't know if Emily will end up forgiving him, tell me what you guys think she should do!

Lots of love, emma<3