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at the home

- Innie, you were Very bad in the school, looking at all these girls and boys~~. What, you think I didn't notice? Of course I did haha. Now come out, so it won't hurt too much baby~~

Then silence. He was listening, trying to find out where his baby was, his favorite game. I pressed my palms even more against my mouths, trying to mute sobs. Obviously failing, I couldn't win against my lover, my owner.

- Hello Innie, what are we doing? Hiding?

The closet door were ripped open with this words, I felt my face and body go pale, and my senses go numb. My sobs got louder, to the point I was crying and screaming, pressing my body deeper and harder into the wall.

-n-no hyu-ung, pleas-se. Ple-ease give, me a-another chance. I lo-ove you so why d-do you keep hurting me-e? I love you, I LOVE YOU

-Don't lie baby, I saw how you're looking at all these peoples. You underestimate my love, so I need to teach you some things.

-but hyu-ung...

-no, be quiet now, and get on your knees, I'm gonna teach u something.

-n-no please..

-DO WHAT I SAY, NOW,. GO. ON. YOUR. FUCKING. KNEES.

So I did went on the knees. The small rope, binding my hands at the back. The choking feeling of fear made me feel like drowning in my own anxiety. But deep inside I knew I deserved this. Bad boys deserves punishment and good boys praise, and I've been a very bad boy lately.

Time skip couse I suck in gore scenes :*

New day new start. I wish it was also about humans.

I think the ceiling looks unusually white today. I wonder is this how heaven look alike. Just white, safe space.

-Innie get up we are going out

-I can't-t move Hyun...

-Stop lying, that's pathetic. I won't carry you around so stop pretending and get out of the fucking bed!

He's mad. I can tell this, even when his back is facing me. His slender fingers tying the tie. Why is he so beautiful when I'm so ugly? He always says I'm beautiful, but I think he's lying. He always lies so why would he be honest about that thing?

-Innie I said to stop starring and get the fuck up.

-I know.

-So why aren't you getting up?

-I'm tired hyung

He quickly turned to face me, and this was the moment when I knew I fucked up. Harsh tug ripped the sheets off me, and second tug made me face the floor. Small dark circles started playing in front of my eyes, bringing headache

-That's what you get for disobeying your hyung Innie

-I-i'm sorry

-Shut it and go to dress. Wear something formal, we're going to attend the dinner with my family.

-oh

-Don't ''oh'' me. And now go change quickly, we wasted long enough time on your whims.

He was right. It was only whims, nothing more than vagaries. I'm just making dramas without real question. Stupid me. 

Thinking I entered the bathroom and faced the mirror. Clothes I had to wear today were already stacked nicely at the floor. My hyung is so caring

I looked into the mirror, judging my own look. I'm sadly uglier than usually. My eyes are red from crying, tear crystals still on my face. While getting naked I noticed more and more details. Visible ribcage, bruises and wounds all around my body. How ugly. Small reflection of lamp light caught my eye. Razor which Hyunjin was usually using for shaving, was just lying there, shining proudly and saying ''use me''. So I did. Having it in my hand made me feel power, something I haven't felt in a while. Pressing the sharpened part on my wrist, I made a small cut. It felt weird, but relieving. Like I could just let the blood with all my problems and worries flow out me, leaving me happy again. So I did it again. And Again. More confident and calm with each cut.

Time skip, dinner with Hyunjins family

It burns. I feel my whole arm going numb, but I can do nothing about it. I have to answer stupid questions and smile, while Hyunjin's casually talking about his plans after graduation. I hate it here so fucking much. I was sitting on the couch, waiting for my lover to come back from the bathroom, when his mother decided to join me.

-So I.n, that was your name right? Anyways, do you really love my Hyunjin?

-Where is this question from miss? Of course I love Hyunjin, he's my first love

-If you say so kid. I just think that you're not the best partner for my son. I'm sure some pretty girl would fit him better than someone like... you

-What do you mean miss?

-You were thrown out of your home and had to force yourself on my son, isn't this pretty rude kid?

-I-i'm sorry but I never forced myself on Hyunjin. He loves me and I return his feelings, so where's the problem?

-Shut it kid! You're disrespecting my family!

With this words she got up, and slapped me on the cheek. I felt like crying, why everyone hates me so much? I need air, otherwise I'm going to drown here. Sprinting outside I ran into a tree. The similar feeling of being knocked out shed across my body, making me lay on the cold ground.

I wish my hyung was here to hug me. I'm fucking useless without him

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