pink in the night ✓

10 | inflection point

Aug 15 2012

Jane and Tanner were leaving for Malibu that day.

I knew this day was coming since they both got their acceptance in March, but time did nothing to soften the blow. I was dreading this day for the longest time, because that meant they were leaving me alone.

Mom already prepared them a meal consisting of all their favorites, as if that would make me lighten up. Spoiler alert: it didn't.

I waited outside Jane's house as she finished packing her things in her room. On her patio, there were striped lounge chairs under an umbrella that I sat on, hugging the yellow throw pillows close to my chest. The neighbors' kids in front were playing on the sidewalk, bouncing a basketball and shooting it into a hoop.

"Charm, hey," Tanner called, wheeling his luggage down a slope. He halted in front of the trunk of Jane's car, which had the trunk popped open. "Fancy seeing you here."

"Likewise," I joked, and he poked my ribs. "You excited for the next 4?"

He shrugged. "A little bit. I'm excited to see what college has in store for me, though. But most of all, I'm sad to be leaving you."

"You're so dramatic," I sighed, taking out a pair of sunglasses from my pocket and putting them on. "We can always stay in contact."

"Yeah, but it won't be the same not seeing you everyday. If I miss you I can't just take a bus to visit. And that also means no more weekend trips to Mount Davidson," he argued, taking a seat on the cement in front of me.

"That's true, but you're so in love with Pepperdine and I know that this is the right thing for you to do," I told him with a small smile. "Who knows? Maybe you'll find your way back to San Francisco one day."

"I won't have to," he countered, staring at his hands on his lap. "Because my heart lives in the city forever, even if I'm not physically here."

I opened my mouth to say something, but Tanner's mom emerged from the front door and stormed toward us before I had the chance.

"Tanner!" she scolded, "go help Jane's parents load the furniture onto the cart!"

"Fine I'm coming," he conceded, standing up and dusting off his navy short. He gives me one last lingering look. "I'll be back."

As the Saelims made their way back inside, Jane climbed down the mini stairwell, carrying two duffle bags full of clothes.

In an instant, I relieved her of one of them, and the two of us tried to make space in the trunk.

"Jesus Tanner is such a fucking mess," she grumbled, forcing the bags between a disassembled desk, "he never lays anything properly.

"Tell me about it," I murmured in response. "So, Malibu."

"Malibu," she repeated, putting her hands on her hips.

"It's kind of far from here don't you think?"

"It is," she agreed, suddenly finding the cracks on the ground a lot more interesting. "Doesn't mean anything, though. What's a little distance anyways?"

"Nothing, if people put in the effort to stay in contact," I said with a shrug.

"That I'm willing to do," she replied, grinning, "or at least I'll try. School can be hella rough and intense, especially for freshmen."

"Yeah."

"Charm c'mere," she groaned, pulling her in for a hug. Her hair tickled the bottom of my chin as I rested it on her shoulder. "You know I'll always care about you, right? Even if we never talk again, remember that."

I swallowed, nodding because I was unsure of what else to do. "Okay."

Past me would've felt so lonely to see them leave like this, but I didn't feel that way. It's strange, really, I just felt...content? Perhaps this was what fate had planned all along.

Their families came back out to finish loading up their belongings. All the while, I watched them from the sidelines, like I always did, proud of what they've accomplished.

I suppose that even when parallel lines find a way to intersect, they eventually diverge anyway.

Finally, we bid our last goodbyes, promising to call everyday. It was a weird mix of emotions saturating the atmosphere--excitement, uncertainty, and hopefulness. Goodbyes are always harder than greetings, yet for some reason, this came quite easily.

And then they were off.