Half of My Heart ✔️

30 | the perfect balance

I get to class before Levi for the first time ever, and I'm more nervous than I've ever been. We haven't seen each other since the kiss outside the dance studio, and I'm anxious, wondering if the dynamic between us has been irreparably damaged.

My mind takes me through a slideshow of the worst-case scenarios: Levi regretting everything, Levi ignoring me, Levi leaving the country so he doesn't ever have to see me again.

Maybe I should leave the country first to beat him to the punch. Or I could just sit down.

I slide into my usual seat. Every time the door opens, my heartbeat picks up. So when the door opens and Levi actually walks through, I feel like I'm having a heart attack. But then he flashes me a calm smile, and I force myself to talk a few deep breaths.

He sits next to me. "Sad that our time together is coming to an end?" He asks.

"What?" I say, taken back.

Levi smiles, sensing my panic. He nods toward the front of the classroom. "Semester ends soon. We'll have new classes after Christmas Break."

I let out a breath. "Oh, yeah. I don't know what I was thinking," I say, straightening out my thoughts. Then I add, "And I'm not that sad. I won't ever have to see you again."

His eyebrows lift in amusement. "Really? You don't think I'm irreplaceable?"

I smile and nod. "I'll just find a new mysterious guy to annoy and steal pens from."

Levi drags his hand through his dark hair. "I don't think you'll need to steal pens from anyone else," he says. Before I can ask what he means, he reaches into his backpack and pulls out a half-empty package of black pens. The same pens he's been using and lending me this whole semester.

He reads the confusion on my face and explains, "I bought them when I realized you couldn't keep track of a pen to save your life. I really hope no one ever puts you in charge of children. Or pets."

I pick up the pack of pens and examine them. "You bought them . . . just to give to me every week?" I ask, still in shock. When I look back up at him, he looks almost shy about the admission, keeping his eyes trained on the pens instead of me. I push them back toward him. "But if you give these to me, what will you spin between your fingers during class?" I ask. "You need something to fuel your habit."

Levi looks at me for a second, processing my question. Then he braces his hands behind his head, leaning back and looking up at the ceiling. "Habit?" He asks, laughing. "Spinning my pens?"

I nod slowly, wondering if he's messing with me. "Yeah. You do it all the time," I answer. "When you're bored, I guess."

He looks back at me, a smile still playing on his face. "It's not exactly a habit," he explains. I quirk my eyebrow, intrigued. He rubs the back of his neck, thinking. "I mean, I guess it could be considered a nervous habit."

"A nervous habit?" I think back to the first time I saw him twirl his pens and realize it was on the first day we met. I thought he hated me back then.

Levi nods, still looking shyer than I've ever seen. "I honestly didn't know I've been doing it until a few seconds ago," he laughs. "Do I really do it that often?"

I nod, laughing too. "Yeah, definitely."

He rubs his face in his hands, groaning. "I did it a lot when I was younger. I thought I'd gotten past it but . . . apparently not. God, you really bring out the worst in me, Crimson."

"The worst?" I shrug. "I think it's kind of cute. In a nerdy kind of way."

He feigns offense. "You think I'm nerdy? That was probably the most offensive way you could've described me."