High Noon

Ch10

Winter was here and it came with a vengeance the icy cold wind ripping through us and the only warmth in our house being the fireplace.

I walked with Ruth through town glad to have a normal walk rather then having to go and stand in line all the time for food. Mama had taken care of it early in the morning and we actually got pork since she was the first in line.

"I miss ballet," Ruth told me with a sigh.

I hadn't thought about ballet in a while since the bombings started and the Nazis invaded. I felt the longing to dance on stage fill my chest, I wanted to be like it had been, when our only worries were school and whether or not we would do good or bad for our performance.

"I miss it too, I wish things could go back to the way they had been," I said with a sigh.

"Me too, I hate this war, but at least our Papa's will be back soon, right?" Ruth told me with a smile.

I nodded as I thought about Papa running up the hill toward our house. Mama and I running up to him, embracing him tightly and Papa saying, "I told you I would come home, everything will be all right now."

I smiled.

"Oui, our Papas will come home."

When I arrived home I saw Mama on the couch unfolding and then folding a letter.

 She read it and then folded it and kept on doing that until she noticed me.

"Sophie," Mama said.

"What are you doing, Mama?" I asked her.

She sighed and then looked at the letter in her hand. 

She frowned, crumpled it up, and threw it into the fireplace.

"Mama?" I said.

She got up and smiled at me which I could tell was forced.

"Everything is fine, Sophie." 

With that, Mama walked into the kitchen.

I went towards the fire and used the metal shovel that we used to clean out the ashes and dragged out the letter.

It was burnt at the ends but not enough that I couldn't read what was written.

Roselíne,
I'm sorry it has taken me this long to write back, I'm alive and well, no need to worry about me. I'm at a POW camp that I can not disclose where it is at, but I am alive. I hope you are doing okay and I think of you and Sophie every day. 

I love you both.

I stared at the letter tears overflowing my eyes Papa was alive, but he wasn't coming home.

I read the letter over and over again and I didn't notice Mama had walked into the room.

She tore the letter out of my hands and threw the letter back into the fire. 

I looked at Mama and shook my head.

"What are you doing? That was a letter from Papa." I said.

"A meaningless letter, it changes nothing," Mama said anger in her tone.

"Meaningless? He's alive, he's not dead!" I told her shocked that Mama wasn't happy.

"He might as well be dead, he's not coming home, he's not going to be here with us, where he should be!" Mama yelled at me.

"He had no choice he had to fight, Mama, Papa will come home after the war," I said.

Without any warning, she slapped me hard in the face. I fell from the slap and touched my cheek, which was burning from it, she had never slapped me before and I could feel tears filling my eyes.

"And who knows when the hell that will be, he could be dead by then, I'm done waiting, done!" Mama screamed at me furiously.

I scrambled up tears streaming down my face and yelled, "Well, I'm not!"

I ran upstairs and into my room, slamming the door shut.

 I heard Mama walking up the stairs and she swung open the door.

"Do you understand how hard this is for me?!" Mama yelled.

"I do, Mama, but you can't just give up!" I said.

Mama burst into tears and then she took a shaky breath.

"Look around, everyone has given up."

She walked out of my room, I slammed the door shut behind her.

Tears were streaming down my face and I went into the secret room in my closet. I lit an oil lamp in there and sat down in the corner of the room.

Everyone has given up.

I'll come home, I promise.

Those words echoed in my mind and I buried my face into my knees.

Papa had to come home, he promised me he would, we can't give up on him. He's alive and when the war is over he'll come home.

And who knows when the hell that will be, he could be dead by then.

I shook my head, no he had to come home. 

Papa will come home and when he does everything will be back to the way it was, the Nazis will be out of our country, and we would have food that filled our bellies and didn't leave us hungry.  Mama would smile and laugh again like she used to, the smell of bacon and sausage would fill the house as Papa helped Mama cook. He would come home from work smelling like smoke and Mama would tease him about his curly mustache.

More tears streamed down my cheeks.

"Papa...please come home, soon," I whispered.

That night I got up out of bed and walked past Mama's room to hear crying, I peeked inside and saw that she was holding an envelope that was slightly bulging.

I walked away, knowing that Mama would want to be alone.

I went downstairs and got some water from the sink and suddenly saw Captain Josef.

"You all right, Madame?" He asked me.

I drank the water not wanting to respond but knowing that I would have to.

"I'm fine, Herr Captain." 

"I heard your Mother crying." He told me.

I sighed and slammed my glass down and turned.

"And what is it to you? You're a Nazi, you're the cause of all of this!" 

I covered my mouth in shock that I had said that and my heart pounded the fear that I originally had resurfacing. 

There was silence and he sighed.

"I didn't start this war, I was just as much forced into it as you are, I don't even agree with half the things Germany stands, for now, all I want is for this war to be over so that I can go back to my three daughters and wife." 

Silence again and I realized I, maybe I had misjudged him, he wasn't entirely bad, he just wore the uniform and took orders.

"I'm sorry," I whispered in a low voice.

He shook his head.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, I deserve to be yelled at for what I am doing and what I'm about to do."

He walked away, I heard him go up the stairs and the door closed shut.

I fiddled with my fingers thinking about his words, what was he about to do?