Dream SMP and Other MCYT Oneshots

Killing Me Softly- DreamNap

Tried my take at poetic writing I guess. Let me know how it went?
TW: unrequited love, mention of non-romantic sexual relationship, metaphorical torture described in physical terms

"You don't need to waste your time on someone who only wants you around when it fits their needs."

He could hear it again and again, yet when the truth is spoken he seems to go selectively deaf.

He couldn't bring himself to admit that he was nothing to Dream. He was his friend, maybe. Sometimes, when Dream needed a hand.

He wanted to be more than that. And maybe they were. Lonely nights that were flooded and accompanied by Dream surely proved that. Yet every morning, he woke up and Dream was gone. It was as if he'd had a vivid, beautiful dream.

These dreams melted into nightmares.

Dream was his everything. He was not a religious man, but found himself praying to any god that crossed his mind for the man he so carelessly loved. He wanted to witness his presence, feel his embrace, cry as he awoke to find him gone once again.

He was so addictive that it hurt, but like any drug, Sapnap couldn't bring himself to stop. If Dream didn't care like he did, so what? If Dream would only ever hijack his lonely nights to satisfy his own needs, was that such a bad thing? Was it really burning a deeper hole in his heart, or was that just Sapnap's aching paranoia?

He couldn't go on with the sleepless nights, although he treasured them like Icarus treasured the sun. And like Icarus, he found himself burned by his desire, destined to fall. In love, that is.

The hole in his heart only spread like wildfire each time he would meet Dream's gaze, just for him to turn away as if Sapnap were poison. If he didn't look, it wasn't real. If he didn't look, he wasn't killing the raven beneath him, softly, slowly, but ruthlessly nonetheless.

Sapnap had never been in love before, and found himself fearing it each time it showed its telltale signs. With his heart beating fast and his head spinning, Sapnap tried to destroy his feelings, burn them to the ground, as fire was the one thing he wielded best. But although a strong man, he was helpless. Helpless against Dream, defenseless, destined to love him until the end of time and continue to wake up alone.

As the visits in the daytime faded away and the nighttime visits only grew, Sapnap knew that there had to be an end out there. He was dying, his heart had been torn from his chest and Dream held it, still beating in his hand. Beating, but only barely. And each night, Dream returned it, bloody and bruised, and Sapnap took it back without question, because as long as he still had a heartbeat, Dream could find him in the dark and break him even more.

Although his heart was broken, at least it still felt love. Dream's chest was empty, there was no love. Sapnap was nothing to him, while he was Sapnap's everything. Yet still, one could not survive without the other. Dream lived an unfulfilling life of taking everything from him until there was nothing left. Sapnap was a dying man, grasping onto the silver lining within the array of clouds that suffocated him, wondering if one day Dream would love him too.

Dream's embrace in the night turned colder until Sapnap's lips were bitten and blue. He chased a warmth that did not exist, patiently waiting like a madman for any sign of life in the man's dark, freezing eyes. Sapnap was numb, he wanted to feel fire upon his skin like passion blooming upon two lovers' faces. Dream was not that lover, but he would rather die than admit it.

He had wasted his time and he couldn't get that time back. If he kept holding on, maybe it would all be for something. Anything, even if it was a knife through his slowly-beating heart. Anything was better than this.

He stopped sleeping. Dream must not have noticed, as he left all the same. He wanted to reach out to him and beg him to stay, as if it would open Dream's eyes and make some sort of difference.

The hole in his heart had won. Love remained, but it was toxic. Adoration turned sour as the void clouded his lungs until he couldn't breathe. He'd been dying for ages, and let it happen because it felt so good to burn. Now the ache was no longer a blessing, it was acid. Dream was the only medicine that could save him, but he chose not to, for it was such an inconvenience. If Sapnap wanted to see another day, he knew what he had to do.

Each night, as Dream tore out his heart and returned it in the morning, he poisoned it more and more. It was sick, blackened, and tired. The slow, excruciatingly loud beating kept Sapnap awake at night. It's toxic fumes reached his brain, which only thought of Dream. Not any longer, for tonight as the man who killed him oh so perfectly lay by his side, his heart restored although damaged, Sapnap took matters into his own hands.

He reached into his chest and ripped out his own heart. It hurt for another to do it to him, but as he crushed the love between his fingers, there was nothing worse than killing the most vulnerable part of his soul himself. The love that had dangerously stacked like building blocks tumbled down into rubble, and it was all swept away as his heart turned to dust by his own hands. The room was silent, no beating hearts between the two men. Still, now was no time for sleep.

Observing the perfect storm that had swept him off his feet one last time, Sapnap slipped away into the night. Dream woke up alone.