Manic Pixie [18+]

Chapter Two

Magnus launched himself backwards, but the pumpkins followed.

He didn't have time to wonder how their tiny legs could propel them so far into the air, because they were on him. He didn't see faces or teeth or weapons of any kind, but they seemed hell-bent on burying him.

He drew his handgun and blew one the size of his head to smithereens, swooping into a flying dropkick to knock another out of the air. When he landed, he crunched two beneath his boots, but four more smacked into his legs.

He shot one before it could bonk him in the forehead, and grabbed another the size of the baseball in his fist. It crushed easily, like a regular fruit would, but the flailing arms and legs made his stomach roil.

"You know they say werewolves are all dumb jocks in a sexy body," the little voice said, "and you are so proving them right."

He'd thought it was one of the pumpkins speaking before, but the sound was coming from above him. He smacked down another pumpkin barrelling towards his face, and glanced wildly over his shoulder to a nearby tree. All he caught was a flash of silvery pink before stars exploded behind his eyes and slimy goo clung to his face.

Something punched him in the back of the knee, and he fell backwards, pain zinging through his back as he landed hard.

A cold, dark laugh echoed, the drawn out noise slithering over Magnus' skin and reverberating in his bones. Pumpkins piled on top of him, faster then he could smack them away, and soon they were so heavy he was pinned.

He fired his gun but it didn't do anything to release the pressure on his body.

And still the laugh grew louder, buzzing inside of his head and rattling his brain against the inside of his skull. He gritted his teeth. He needed to shift, but his wolf wasn't listening to him. It was as if that voice had built a cage around his other nature, cutting off all communication and willpower.

"Hey, asshole!" somebody yelled, and then the pumpkins were gone, and there was a sucking sound like when you only open one window of a car, and he blinked up at the sky, a sky filled with orange fruit exploding into gooey sprays, sparkling in the sunlight.

Then it all fell.

Magnus barely had time to close his eyes before pumpkin guts slapped him from head to toe, and he sat up, wiping at his face with slimy fingers.

"You're just smearing it around, idiot."

"Who the fuck are you?" he snapped, pulling off his shirt so he could use the inside to mop up his face. Despite the nasty feeling, his insides relaxed as he and his wolf merged once again, that cold cage dissipated.

"Calantha Andoria Meritacious Nyx."

With his eyes now free of goo, Magnus blinked at the woman floating in front of him. At least, he thought she was a woman. She had feminine proportions, but she was only a few inches tall, with iridescent pink skin and a wispy mop of lavender hair piled on top of her head. Sparkly wings buzzed behind her like a hummingbird's.

She grabbed the hem of her little white dress and curtsied in the air. "People just call me Nyx. Pleasure to save you from certain death. What's your name?" She zipped to the side, coming a little closer. "Or can I just continue calling you Moron?"

"You don't have to call me anything," he growled as he got to his feet. "Thanks for the assist, but you can be on your way."

"Assist?" She laughed, pressing her tiny hands to her belly. "I just saved your life, you turd gurgler."

Magnus ignored her, stomping through the pumpkin graveyard to the centre of the patch. There was a deep charred crater in the middle, about the diameter of a car tire. He knelt down and took a deep whiff, wrinkling his nose at the stench of rot and death.

"That's where the dude was standing," Nyx said, her voice close enough to his ear that he instinctively reached up to bat her away like an annoying fly.

"What did he look like?" Magnus asked.

"Like one of those creepy memes teenagers send around to freak each other out," she replied, hands flying around her face as she spoke. "Tall with this giant icky smile like he was gonna eat me or something. And not in the fun way."

Magnus stood and finished mopping himself up as best he could, then tossed his shirt and turned to trek back to the car.

"You are super hot, though," Nyx babbled, flitting along beside him as he walked. "Peeled that shirt off like a second skin. Is that an eight-pack? Who even has that many abs?"

"You can go now," he muttered.

"I need a lift back to town." She did a barrel-roll in front of him. "That life-saving blast took a lot out of me and I don't really wanna fly all that way."

He grunted in response. Annoying as this creature was, she had saved his life. He wanted to just leave her here to walk or fly or whatever back to where she'd come from, but part of his job was to protect and serve, and he knew he'd regret abandoning her out here.

"No arguing is probably a good sign," she tittered. "Are you gonna shift? Cause if you're just gonna walk then I'll hitch a ride on this here muscly-ass shoulder."

She patted his shoulder and his skin prickled, as if brushed with a feather. He brushed her away, sending her tumbling in a loop-de-loop through the air.

"You're already riding in my car, I don't want you sitting on me."

"Buzzkill." She sighed, crossing her arms with a huff.

Magnus considered shifting and taking off just so that he didn't have to listen to her whine, and then a thought occurred to him.

"Are you a pixie?" he asked, turning his nose towards her. He caught a strange, alien scent, and though it wasn't entirely unpleasant it was disconcerting.

"Guilty!" Nyx held out her wrists in front of her. "Wanna cuff me?"

"I thought pixies stayed in their own realm." Magnus wasn't an expert on supernatural history, but he was sure he'd heard or read somewhere that pixies hadn't been around since the sixties.

Nyx snorted. "The fae realm? Bo-ring."

His frown deepened. "Maybe for someone like you."

"Someone like me, huh?" She blew a raspberry, little tongue spitting. "You're awfully judgy for a grumpy old werewolf that just got his ass handed to him by a bunch of vegetables."

"Fruit. Pumpkins are fruit." He shook his head. "And they were enchanted by a necromancer who's been practicing magic since before I was born."

She scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Excuses, excuses. Maybe if you knew that you should have waited for backup, huh?"

"Do you want a ride back to the city or not?" he snapped.

"Oh, you're too easy to rile up." She laughed, doing another barrel roll, near brushing the long grass before swooping back up in front of him. "Such a crankus pankus. When was the last time you got laid?"

Magnus clenched his jaw, resolving to ignore her for the rest of their journey.

"Wow, that long, huh? A travesty with that body."

"If you want a ride, you need to stop talking."

She held up her tiny palms. "Okay, okay, lips zipped, ya prude."