Give Me One Good Reason (prev: 13 Reasons) (HIATUS)

(32) You're Dead [part 2.1]

PREVIOUSLY: "...We specialize in the art of making people disappear. We are hired assassins or mechaniks like your Min Suga here. Our Company is called Táobì Hépíng, Escape The Peace, and in exchange for payment we take special photographs in which you are dead. If we aren't actually killing you we provide complete documentation which allows you to start a new life. You would need to understand that the you that you were is dead, and the new you is a completely different person. Seokjin and I were asked last night if we had our kits with us, this refers to our special makeup kits that have everything in them to make you look dead for all intensive purposes. Yes we will 'kill' you but only in the photographic sense and you have to be able to hold your breath while we shoot a short video of you being buried. Do you understand now?"    

******* ******* *******

After the shock (very briefly)
Kim Mitzuki's P.O.V.

I'm shaking so hard I think my teeth are going to fall out. I lean into Yoongi who wraps his arms around me. I can't stop my body from quaking - I feel like one of those white-water rafters being tossed in the fierce rapids and trying to keep my balance in the boat called 'my life'. I thought - I really thought they were literally going to kill me! Not just make me up with special stuff to make me look dead. I nuzzled into Yoongi's warmth mumbling for him to let me lie down, I don't know how he understood but he lifted me up and carried me to the couch instead of upstairs, sitting down lengthways on the sofa and laying me against him, my side against his front. 

I feel a soft weight after a short while. I guess he still wanted to talk to Namjun and Seokjin, I wasn't able to hear their voices properly but I heard them talking about photographs - they must have meant the ones I know Wei Ying has of me form when the Lans first peeled me off of the sidewalk... Fuck. I don't... I don't want them seeing what I was like before this, after the last time Izuka Yang had abused me.

I don't know what he'll think when he sees the photos that Lan Wuxian took from when they found me. I doubt any of them will see me the same once they see the photos, I mean, I know I told Lan Wuxian I wanted to go ahead with the court case but this was so extreme and I didn't know if I actually wanted to be 'dead' - you know - to say goodbye to Kim Mitzuki for, well, for ever.

Memories flittered so quickly across my mind I didn't have a chance to register I wasn't in that place anymore - I wasn't in a place of pain or horror but seeing the images of how I looked when the Lan's found me still give me nightmares. 

I can't deal with how horrible everything was just over a year ago; don't get me wrong at all - though I'm grateful I ended up in Liánhuā Hú, and that I was found by Lan Wuxian and Lan Yibo but the terrors still wake me screaming, sometimes. Not as often as they used to, mind you, just... often enough to remind me of what hell I lived through at the hands of someone who said he loves me. 

For a long time after Lan Wuxian and Lan Yibo helped me, took me in and healed my body I could never sleep in more than fits and starts; maybe an hour at a time if I was lucky but now I could go up to a month without the hourly reminders. Then I hear something I wish I didn't...

"Get the photographs sent over."

The photographs and words flicker faster in my head, increasing the urgency to panic and the fear I was back in 'that place' again. My body responding to the mental torture I was reliving. Tears stream from my eyes and sobs ripping from my chest that make me feel as if I'm falling apart all over, that I'm losing everything, I'm losing my sanity...

"SUGA!" 

I scream before the dark and hollow void absorbs my consciousness.

******* ******* *******

-> Rewind a minute or so, to Min laying Kim on the sofa <-

Lounge Room, Nie Namjun & Seokjin enter
Min Suga's P.O.V.

"I'll get Lan Yibo to send some photos to you of when they found the kid and if you can work from those it'd be appreciated. They're from when your cousin found Mitzuki on the streets and, by all the Gods, I want to puke just thinking about them, but if you can stomach it... Please?"

I ask quietly not wanting Mitzuki to freak out, nodding thanks to Namjun who drapes a soft mink blanket over the man I love while Seokjin considers the request seriously. I feel Mitzuki's body shake as if he's in an ice bath which makes me frown and tears he'd been trying to hide dampen the front of my shirt as he clutches it like I'm his last lifeline.

"Get the photographs sent over." Seokjin replies. Heart wrenching sobs rip from Mitzuki's chest and each one is like a blunted silver dagger ripping through my heart.

 "SUGA!" 

The scream rips from Mitzuki before he collapses on me. I stare blankly for a moment wondering what the fuck just happened before realizing he'd had a panic attack, gathering him into my arms I issue a string of commands to the pair staring at me with wide eyes and open mouths.

"Fuck. Ah, Namjun can you start the shower but not too hot - I don't want to burn him. Seokjin can you start the fire and make one of the sofa-beds up with lots of pillows and cushions and soft blankets? The kid likes soft things." 

Affection and worry laced my words and my face must have shown my fright because they spared only a glance to each other before moving to do what I'd asked. I was deeply thankful for them. I carried Mitzuki to the shower and as soon as it was ready I stepped in with him (the both of us fully clothed) and leaned his slender frame against mine, letting the water tumble over his shoulders warm him up as I brushed the water out of his eyes and I hoped he would regain consciousness soon.

******* ******* *******

SONG/ARTIST: Hold On For Your Life by Sam Tinnesz
AMV: Mo Dao Zu Shi

******* ******* *******

Chinese meaning:

Táobì hépíng - escape to peace

Wàng Jī - free of worldly concerns, above the fray, at peace with the world

Lǚdiàn - inn, hotel

Liánhuā Hú - Lotus Lakes

Qīpiàn- Deceit or cheat (in this case they lived in Deceit City)