Chapter 1 | prologue

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Infatuation wasn't love. It was all but a desire and hope. A foolish hope which would never come true. Infatuation could ruin a person's life. It could make you break, tear and desperately want. Even if you didn't want to.

I was ready to let go.


4 years ago

I cried. And cried. My t-shirt was soaked with tears now. I didn't even bother to get a tissue. He was gone. He left the school and I would never see him again. My stepmother was shouting at me. But everything was distant. He didn't even know that I had existed in the school. He never even looked at me. I knew it was bound to happen one day. He obviously wouldn't stay forever. Even if I had only observed him from afar since 4rth grade, he had become a part of my life. Something to hope for and something to break for. I didn't think it would hit me this hard though. I sobbed harder.

" Oh you little girl. He didn't even know you. All you were on the sidelines. Whatever you had done for him. Cheered when he played soccer, indirectly gave your homework, nothing happened. He's gone. Get your shit together and focus on yourself from now on." yelled Cloe. She was my step mom. She wasn't as bad as some step mom's could be. She cared for me. But not as much as my real mom would. There. If it was possible to sob harder I did. Sensing my distress, Chloe came closer to me. I could see her reach out with her arms through my teary eyes. Was she going to slap me? To my surprise though, I heard her sigh and put her arms around me.

"Let go," she said. And I remembered those two words forever.



6 years ago

It was my 13th birthday. I was at the loss of words when I saw what my mom and dad had done for me. A piano lay in the center of the hall along with a guitar and a mic. The house had been decorated with musical notes. Small tunes played from all around. My heart expanded so much I thought it would explode. Squealing, I went over to check my gifts out. It was all I ever wanted. My mom laughed from behind me. She had the most beautiful laugh ever. Her dark brown hair was styled nicely. And her similar green eyes sparkled seeing me happy. I hugged her so tight I might have crushed her bones.

" Thank you." I breathed. " Thank you"

She put her arms around me and kissed my forehead.

" You deserved it, love" she said, in her elegant british accent. Even if she had lived in the USA for almost her whole life, she never chose to quit her accent. I put my other arm around my dad and pulled him into the embrace as well. He chuckled and we all stood there. Just taking in each other's presence.


After some time Dad had gone out to get something else for me. I didn't know what and mom didn't either, judging from the look she had given him. He just winked and took off.

The night had fallen and dad would be here any second now. I was sitting on my new piano playing the notes I had been taught. My mom stood beside me with a cup of coffee and watched me play. She smiled the entire time.

Suddenly, the doorbell rang. I instantly got to my feet and squealed. Dad was here. With god-knows-what. But I was hella excited. My mom ran after me wanting to see what dad bought for me too. When I opened the door I was grinning like an idiot.


 But what I saw in front of me made my entire smile disappear. 

My heart dropped like stone as a creepy guy covered in black thundered into the house. A gun shone on his belt. His face was hooded and the night didn't help.

 I screamed as he pushed my back against the wall and closed the door behind us. I heard another scream. 

Mom. 

She ran towards us shouting something I couldn't hear. My ears rang and fear ran down my throat. The guy's hold on me loosened until he retracted his hand. I slouched against the wall trying to breath. Tears were clouding my vision. I saw mom and the guy fighting. Both of them used hands. Until the guy took out his gun in a flash. I was already screaming knowing that he would shoot it at mom. 

But the gun was already pointing at me.

My breathing sped up. I paled at the sight of a gun facing me. I could die. Right here. On my 13th birthday. I could die. But my mom screamed.

" No! Don't hurt her! What do you want?" she cried. She was begging. Tears were sliding down her cheeks. My sobs grew. It was so hard to see mom like this. My mom. She was begging. To a dude who was damn out of his mind. I heard the guy laugh. Then he spoke, in a husky voice that sent chills down my spine.

" You remember me?" he asked. My mom crumpled to the ground on her knees. She was so pale. It seemed his voice itself had hurt her. I started to get up to go to her but the guy moved his gun towards me, indicating any movement would have me dead. I covered my mouth with my hands. He started to shout,

" Tell me Amelia!" My mom started to shake. I had never seen her like this. So afraid. So so afraid. But she spoke,

" Dane" she breathed. Her voice was soft but we both heard her. They knew each other? What the hell was going on? I could tell that the memory of this dude for mom wasn't a bright one though. She trembled. Her hands covered her face as she sobbed.

" What are you doing?" She started to scream.

" You know why I'm here." he sneered. " Where is the money?" My eyes widened. I stupid feet were stuck in place. I wanted to go to my mom. I wanted to hug her. Gods, where was dad? My mom lifted her face. The tears had dried on there. She narrowed her eyebrows and said with courage I never had,

" Never. I'm never going to tell you. You didn't deserve it. " I heard her take a deep breath. The black guy grit his teeth. Was he going to pull the trigger?

Before I knew it my mom was on her feet and the gun was knocked out of 'Dane's' hands. I screamed. Again.

" Call the cops!"

" It's no use." My mom said. Her black hair flew as she turned her head towrds me. The vase clattered on the floor because of the force the guy had fallen with. His hands were reaching out for something. 

However, I was looking at my mom. She smiled wistfully at me. Her face shone with regret I didn't know what for.

" I love you," she said. A second later, a gunshot sounded. 

And her face crumpled. 

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