Away With Him

21 - Sorry, Not Sorry

Why on earth was I so stupid?

I could have said no. I could have just accepted that I was going to fail this project. It wouldn't have made a difference. The rest of my grades were perfect and one zero wouldn't change anything.

I could have even hit him. Yes I probably would have been suspended, but it probably would have been a better experience than what I was facing.

And what I was facing was a few brutal hours alone with Logan. The boy who hated me. The boy who called me a fag. In his house. And I said yes to it.

Maybe I should hit myself.

What was I thinking? My stubbornness had really put me in a bad place.

I was already ten minutes late. Ten minutes spent sitting in my car across the street from Logan's house. I hadn't even taken off my seat belt in that time.

My fingers tapped a nervous tune on the steering wheel and I'm certain that my shaking leg was making the whole car shake.

This was one time when I was extremely glad for the tinted windows in my car. Nobody could see the fear the on my face. Except myself when I caught a glimpse in the rear view mirror.

The curtains in the front room of Logan's house swayed for the third or fourth time that I had been sitting here and Logan's face appeared behind the window.

He knew I was here which only made me more anxious.

I finally took the brave step of unbuckling my seat belt. I quickly wiped my sweat laden hands on my jeans in a fruitless attempt to dry them off before stepping out of my car and crossing the street.

I had barely knocked three times when Logan pulled the door open. I instantly felt a lump in my throat and lost my breath.

"Hey," he said, stepping aside and gesturing for me to enter.

I don't know what I was expecting but, suffice to say, I was pleasantly surprised to see a normal looking house.

I stopped midway down the hallway and peered around. The wall opposite the stairs was adorned with family photos. I could recognise a younger Logan in most of the photos, along with his little brother and sister.

Logan cleared his throat and I flicked my head back in his direction when I realized that I had been staring for too long at the photos.

"Do you wanna?...umm. Maybe we should get started," Logan mumbled, scratching the back of his head. I nodded and followed him up the stairs to his bedroom.

His bed was unmade and creased clothes littered the floor. The window was pushed half open but I could pick up a hint of a musty scent, though the overwhelming smell in the room was cheap deodorant spray.

Logan picked up a pile of t-shirts from a chair at his desk and threw them into the corner before flopping down onto the bed.

"Take a seat," he said, raising his head and meeting my eyes. I was still standing under the door frame thinking very carefully about my next step. To my left I could still see the the front door down the stairs. It wasn't too late to escape. "I don't bite, you know."

"Ha! I wouldn't be surprised if you did," I shot back. The slight inkling of joy in his eyes faded after my comment.

"Come on. Let's just get this project over with," he huffed.

"Gladly."

I pulled the chair from the desk and moved it to the wall opposite the bed, putting as much distance as I could between me and him. He watched me do it. He knew what I was doing. But he didn't say anything.